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Quote of the Week From My Life.


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My wife is doing a series at church on the founding of America, of course that means Pilgrims. As she's researching, she keeps finding new things related to what she's looking at and trying to figure

Last night my eldest (7) took all his remaining allowance and birthday money (~$40) and put it in an envelope to give to the church. He said, "The church needs it more than I do. It will help."   My

Student: "I notice that you've been getting more sassy with our class. Is that because you're starting to feel more comfortable with us, or because you're just getting tired of our bullcrap?"   Me:

  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Had to beat the Fire Temple boss in Legend of Zelda: Skyward sword (throw bomb in monster's mouth, bomb goes boom, use sword on monster while vulnerable).

 

My wife to me: "You da bomb, baby."

 

I had to pun-ish her.

 

"I think I deserve a grope for that."

 

So I gave her a honka-honka.

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Last night my eldest (7) took all his remaining allowance and birthday money (~$40) and put it in an envelope to give to the church. He said, "The church needs it more than I do. It will help."

 

My wife and I were absolutely stunned. He's had his eyes on a big set of Legos for a while and was saving for that.

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Yesterday at dinner, I filled a glass with water, and then squirted in some MiO Black Cherry.  As the dark red spread through the water, my youngest daughter (our would-be supervillain) said, "It looks like the blood of my enemies."

 

I took a sip and said, "Mmmmmm...  but this tastes sweeter."

With a deadpan expression, she replied, "You don't know that."

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"Old Man, as a potential juror, you will need to be fair and not prejudiced during the proceedings. Since you work in IT, have you experienced any instances of people having preconceptions about you based on your occupation?"

 

"Sure. I think that's true of any occupation. Like for lawyers. "

 

(laughter)

 

"Okay, but have you found those preconceptions to be fair?"

 

"You know, to be blunt, a lot of the time they're spot on. "

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"Old Man, as a potential juror, you will need to be fair and not prejudiced during the proceedings. Since you work in IT, have you experienced any instances of people having preconceptions about you based on your occupation?"

 

"Sure. I think that's true of any occupation. Like for lawyers. "

 

(laughter)

 

"Okay, but have you found those preconceptions to be fair?"

 

"You know, to be blunt, a lot of the time they're spot on. "

 

Q:  How many lawyer jokes are there?

A:  Three.  The rest are true stories.

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