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Lucius

Quote of the Week From My Life.

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Person A to Person B: I never know when you're being serious.

 

Person B to Person A: Me neither, actually.

Cases like these are best treated as a quantum-mechanical mixing of states. It's made more difficult in that you don't know the proper basis state set.

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Me to a rather liberal (politically) coworker with the hiccups:  "Want me to scare those out of you?"
Her:  "Give it a shot."
Me:  "President Donald Trump."
Her:  <Hiccup> "Didn't work."

Random customer that was standing in front of us:  "Well, THAT'll give ME nightmares!"

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Cases like these are best treated as a quantum-mechanical mixing of states. It's made more difficult in that you don't know the proper basis state set.

Do you know a proper basis state set? And can you introduce me?

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary claims to know an improper basis state set but won't give me the phone number

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Me: "A satanic question is one that tests your faith. In this case, about yourself and your understanding.

 

"For example, you get a physics problem and you look at it and say, 'I can do that!' And you grind away at it and eventually you get an answer … an answer you did not expect.

 

"Do you believe it? How's your faith? If your understanding and faith are strong, then you say, 'Huh. Yes, I believe that, because …((physics)).' But if your faith is weak, then you say, 'I made a mistake,' and you do it again. And you get the same answer. Do you believe it now? Or do you burn another slug of time and try it again?

 

"See, that's a satanic question. It punishes your weakness by costing you time. That's the role of Satan in the Universe: to punish your weaknesses and make you stronger in the end."

 

(Later) "And if that doesn't get me burned at the stake, I don't know what will."

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We had a family thing with other families in the home school group. At one point, a boy between 18 months and 2 years (I'd guess) toddled by. My wife said, "He's the littlest Book." Book being another of the families there.

 

I replied, "Looks like a novella to me."

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Me pulling a studen'ts leg:

 

"What's the difference between a male chromosome and a female chromosome?"

 

"The female is the pretty one."

 

At least the student thought it was funny. And yes, I explained what the difference actually was.

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Church is delayed (possibly canceled) for snow. I sent this to my wife this morning.

 

If I were Martin Luther, I would write 95 reasons that I love you.

If I were John Calvin, a bouquet of tulips would testify that I find you irresistible.

Were I Karl Barth, my expressions of love would be most dogmatic.

Were I CS Lewis, an essay on how I feel all four loves for you would be on the way to you right now.

Were I Augustine, my only confession would be my love.

Were I Anglican, I would gladly be your defender.

However, we are Arminians, and so I say "I choose you."

And we are part of the Wesleyan tradition, so I find my heart warmed by thoughts of you.

And as Classical Pentecostals, I speak now of the initial evidence of our love.

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I remember watching an episode of Scooby Doo where the gang checked into a hotel (there was a "Vacancy" sign on the door), and the monster appeared soon afterwards. So I first thought "vacancy" had a bad connotation. I remember passing by a motel a few weeks after and thought there was something sinister there. Hence my quote:

 

"I thought 'vacancy' meant something bad, and it's Scooby Doo's fault!"

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"It grieves me to have to say this, but you should never attempt to eat or drink anything you find in a chemistry lab."

 

I pointed out to my chem 1 professor that one should never lick the spoon after an experiment and he took 3 pts off my final lab report. "Your so-called sense of humor shows you are incapable of the seriousness needed to conduct proper scientific research and have no business inside a lab." He actually wrote that on the paper.

 

A prior lab (when he wasn't there), I went mad scientist while mixing some compounds together. One of my lab partners said to another (both ladies had slightly frightened looks on their faces), "Frank has way too much fun in here."

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((Students wailing that the astronomers' .iso files are not the kind of file you burn onto a CD))

 

Me ... "Yes, those are isochrone files. Flat-text files that contain stellar evolution codes' output. You can read it in Notepad or vi or something, right?"

 

"WHY DID THEY NAME THEM THAT??? Why'd they break the standard?!?" [The students had spend considerable time trying to open the files with things that read "ordinary" .iso files, which helpfully provided them only with the error message, "This is not a .iso file."]

 

Me: "Almost certainly because the astronomers started using that naming convention before the ISO standard was formulated."

 

 

((Continued wailing and gnashing of teeth.))

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Me to wife last night: [Our 8yo] and I had to have the racism talk tonight.

 

Wife: Because of the Little House episode? ["Dark Sage," Dr. Baker brings a new doctor to town who is black.]

 

Me: Yeah. He asked me a very pointed question. "Why did that man hate Dr. Ledoux more than he loves his wife?" [A farmer's wife went into premature labor while Doc Baker was away. Dr. Ledoux had to perform an emergency C-Section but the farmer was dead set that "no _______" will touch his wife. Charles punched him. Dr. Ledoux saved their lives.]

 

Wife's [eyes got big from the question he asked]: So you explained it?

 

Me: Yeah, and you realize exactly how stupid and ridiculous racism is when you try to put it in terms an 8yo will understand.

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