Cancer Posted March 21, 2016 Report Share Posted March 21, 2016 "Yes, I'm enjoying grading these papers about as much as I enjoy crawling on my hands and knees over broken glass." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 On Pez dispensers and flavors: "Do you want Cherry Batman or Grape Chewbacca? I feel so dirty when I say that!" Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 "What is the Science and Society Project, and why do I have a 0/30 on it?" (Actual student e-mail, except the original was in ALL CAPS.) Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted March 28, 2016 Report Share Posted March 28, 2016 "When I grow up, I want to be like Dad." "I think you can probably do better, kid." Now where is the damn kleenex? Pariah, L. Marcus, FrankL and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted March 28, 2016 Report Share Posted March 28, 2016 Aww! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted March 28, 2016 Report Share Posted March 28, 2016 "I can't afford a new crown. It would be easier to get a pair of pliers and pull out all my teeth!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 1, 2016 Report Share Posted April 1, 2016 Visiting father-in-law in the hospital; I happen to be there when his lunch arrives. Nurse: "Today you got what you wanted ... the hot chicken sandwich. The gravy's a little ... strange, though." FIL: "Strange how?" N: "It's yellow." Sure enough, take the cover off, and the "gravy" is yellow and transparent. Not quite like lemon gelatin that had failed to set, but that's an adequate analogy. Me: "Oh, I recognize that. That's not chicken gravy. It's chicken pee gravy." Fortunately father-in-law has a crude sense of humor like I have and was willing to eat his meal anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 4, 2016 Report Share Posted April 4, 2016 "Education is much more fun if instead of thinking of it as 'teaching' you think of it as 'corrupting the young'." Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted April 7, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 7, 2016 I think my futility must be well exercised by now. Lucius Alexander The palindromedary laments that I am not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted April 12, 2016 Report Share Posted April 12, 2016 "We're probably wrong, Mr. ______, but at least we're thinking." "Well, that's the point." I should note that I'm never wrong, I think... The above statement is incorrect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burrito Boy Posted April 12, 2016 Report Share Posted April 12, 2016 "Don't find someone else." I hope she meant it the way I think she meant it. [fingers crossed] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDarkness Posted April 12, 2016 Report Share Posted April 12, 2016 Me: America is a two party system. Random Internet Person: No. Me: It is. And Iceland has a parliament and a president. RIP: Iceland has two parties. Me: I don't think you're understand what a two-party system is. RIP: And Ross Perot ran under another party. You are wrong. It is not illegal to have another party. Me: I don't think you're understanding what a two-party system is. RIP: You are a slave to the two parties. Rinse, lather, repeat. Why, Facebook, why? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted April 12, 2016 Report Share Posted April 12, 2016 "This creme brulee is cold." "That's because it's not creme brulee, it's burnt cream." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted April 13, 2016 Report Share Posted April 13, 2016 Me: America is a two party system. Random Internet Person: No. Me: It is. And Iceland has a parliament and a president. RIP: Iceland has two parties. Me: I don't think you're understand what a two-party system is. RIP: And Ross Perot ran under another party. You are wrong. It is not illegal to have another party. Me: I don't think you're understanding what a two-party system is. RIP: You are a slave to the two parties. Rinse, lather, repeat. Why, Facebook, why? "Because I know what you're talking about, therefore you're wrong, even though my three-paragraph post has at least one logical inconsistency per paragraph, as I beat a dead horse made of straw." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDarkness Posted April 13, 2016 Report Share Posted April 13, 2016 "Because I know what you're talking about, therefore you're wrong, even though my three-paragraph post has at least one logical inconsistency per paragraph, as I beat a dead horse made of straw." Are we facebook friends? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted April 13, 2016 Report Share Posted April 13, 2016 Are we facebook friends? As I've gotten older, I've ended up not really caring how blunt someone is, as long as they're honest and actually trying to discuss the topic. Because I've yet to see an honest attempt to discuss a topic get nowhere, but that almost everything else got involved in one way or another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted April 14, 2016 Report Share Posted April 14, 2016 In the Royal Rangers outpost I lead, one of the patrols has three brothers, two are twins (they have a fourth brother in another age group and two sisters). The brothers in Discovery Rangers are sized at wee, large, and extra-large. I always assumed that large and extra large were the twins. No. I found out that wee and extra large are the twins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted April 15, 2016 Report Share Posted April 15, 2016 I'd like to remind my teeth that they are not supposed to regard me as tasty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 17, 2016 Report Share Posted April 17, 2016 My daughter is a delegate at today's district caucuses. It's about 4PM when I have my son text her about when they'll be home (it's my job to have dinner ready). Her response: KILL ME NOW I PRAY FOR THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH WE'RE GOING TO BE HERE FOREVER Nice to see that district caucuses haven't changed in 24 years. Also nice to see that my daughter has *no* future as a politician. L. Marcus, FrankL and Pariah 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 18, 2016 Report Share Posted April 18, 2016 That's just outstanding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted April 18, 2016 Report Share Posted April 18, 2016 So that's what all those Youtubers weren't talking about: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted April 18, 2016 Report Share Posted April 18, 2016 My daughter is a delegate at today's district caucuses. It's about 4PM when I have my son text her about when they'll be home (it's my job to have dinner ready). Her response: KILL ME NOW I PRAY FOR THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH WE'RE GOING TO BE HERE FOREVER Nice to see that district caucuses haven't changed in 24 years. Also nice to see that my daughter has *no* future as a politician. The Iowa republican caucus this year was rather painless and well scheduled. OTOH, I know people who went to the D caucus and reported the above. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted April 27, 2016 Report Share Posted April 27, 2016 And no fighting over Cyprus! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted May 6, 2016 Report Share Posted May 6, 2016 Oedipus had four children. I can't remember most of their names except for Antigone. I remember her because we dated in college. Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted May 6, 2016 Report Share Posted May 6, 2016 "Are you for or against nuclear power." "I'm for it." "Why?" "Because if we can't save the world, we can at least blow it up." "Nuclear apocalypse..." "Not as bad as it sounds." "How so?" "Look at it this way. If you live out your whole life and die a natural death, you'll die alone. At least in a nuclear apocalypse, everybody dies with you." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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