Pariah Posted November 21, 2016 Report Share Posted November 21, 2016 (overheard in class) Student: So I just have to sell my soul to the school for another year and a half.... Me: I think it's adorable that you think you still have a soul. Student: Cancer and Hermit 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 21, 2016 Report Share Posted November 21, 2016 I trust you followed up with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 22, 2016 Report Share Posted November 22, 2016 "These are the new Chromebooks. They're the G5 instead of the G3. What's the difference? (holds up a 'V' sign) Two." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 27, 2016 Report Share Posted November 27, 2016 "Sit down for a second, buddy. You need pants." "I love pants!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 30, 2016 Report Share Posted November 30, 2016 "Hobbes [the cat], you don't head-butt a glass of milk." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 30, 2016 Report Share Posted December 30, 2016 "Stanford's band's not here today. They're on double secret probation again." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 "Stop acting coy and order the damn pizza already!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 3, 2017 Report Share Posted January 3, 2017 Gaming group (incomplete turnout) on Dec 30, so we're playing Fiasco (with the scene being in the Harry Dresden version of Chicago). "[player name], you are just doomed. You are sitting between the guy who is only happy when he has the most lethal character at the table, and the guy who is happiest when he is playing a character who is full-bore f***ing bat**** insane. Those are the people with whom you have relationships in the game." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 4, 2017 Report Share Posted January 4, 2017 "I need another cup of coffee. I am way too chill this morning, even though I haven't had time to put lipstick on." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 11, 2017 Report Share Posted February 11, 2017 "So, basically, we can divide the universe into three categories: matter, energy, and stuff we don't understand real well yet." L. Marcus 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 14, 2017 Report Share Posted February 14, 2017 "Only real chloroform takes that long. Alt-chloroform works much faster." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 18, 2017 Report Share Posted February 18, 2017 "So, a dead mouse probably isn't recyclable, is it?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted February 20, 2017 Report Share Posted February 20, 2017 Wife: So I've entered a broth challenge. Me: Really?! Wife: Yes. Are you interested. Me: Most definitely! Wife: I'm surprised. Me: Why are you surprised? Wife: Well, you just aren't a fan of broth most days. Me: Broth? Like chicken broth? Wife: Yeah. I make different recipes of broth each weekend, and drink 8 ounces a day. What did you think I said? Me: Bra. Wife: Bra? How would a bra challenge work? Me: I don't know, but I really want to find out! Pariah, tkdguy and Burrito Boy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 20, 2017 Report Share Posted February 20, 2017 For some reason I dimly recall a video of a projectile laucher (foe, e.g., water balloons) made of bras, but I am worried enough that it is merely a figment of my imagination that I am not going to do the web search to find it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 20, 2017 Report Share Posted February 20, 2017 For some reason I dimly recall a video of a projectile laucher (foe, e.g., water balloons) made of bras, but I am worried enough that it is merely a figment of my imagination that I am not going to do the web search to find it. The double-barreled water balloon slingshot? Yeah, that sounds familiar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted February 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2017 "A place that has remarkably stupid rules is probably a place best avoided whatever else it has going for it." Lucius Alexander Even if it has a palindromedary Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 (I'd been in the optics lab, running a fun little demo using a steel ruler as a diffraction grating, measuring things, and determining the wavelength of laser light with that; the room has to be dark for much of it, so I had my hand-length inch-diameter LED flashlight in my front pants pocket, and forgot to turn it off. Then out in the hall:... "Hey, Dr. {Cancer}, you've got a light in your pants." I look down, see it, and reply: "Oh, that's my ... well, never mind what it is." Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted March 8, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 "One would think that after fifty years I'd become accustomed to it. Sometimes I wish I could. But I haven't. I'm still trapped on a planet full of insane people, and it still terrifies me and sometimes makes me nauseous." Lucius Alexander The palindromedary unhelpfully points out that not only are most of them raving mad, lots of them are idiots as well. Then the other end asks how sure I am of my own grip on sanity. Given I'm talking to a two headed camel, it may have a point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted March 8, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 "A place that has remarkably stupid rules is probably a place best avoided whatever else it has going for it." Lucius Alexander Even if it has a palindromedary A corollary - a person that has remarkably stupid rules is probably a person best avoided whatever else they have going for them. Lucius Alexander No palindromedaries aloud tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted March 8, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Sometimes I feel as if I've been walking blindfolded in a minefield without realizing it. Recently I've started to wonder if I still am.... Lucius Alexander I'd never have made it this far without a palindromedary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted March 8, 2017 Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 My daughter is trying on her wedding dress. "I'm still going to get this altered, so I don't have wicked demon horns on my boobs..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted March 8, 2017 Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 No pics? I am disappoint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 8, 2017 Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 It does sound like the start of one of the more novel superhero origin stories I've heard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 8, 2017 Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 'Demon horns on boobs' sounds like a bigger problem than a dress can fix. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 8, 2017 Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 Yeah, but as a problem unto itself, or a symptom of something more disturbing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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