Cancer Posted March 15, 2017 Report Share Posted March 15, 2017 (after a particularly fat-headed comment by me yesterday about enrollment numbers for a particular class...) "Let us expunge my comments yesterday about [that class] as the lunatic ravings of someone momentarily overdosed on explaining right-hand rules for magnetic forces to life science majors; too much three-dimensional spatial reasoning, not enough whiskey." tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burrito Boy Posted March 18, 2017 Report Share Posted March 18, 2017 Found in the comments of a documentary about pulp fiction that I came across on YouTube: Really? L. Ron Hubbbard is praised more than H.P. Lovecraft, Robert E. Howard, Issac Asimov, Phillip K. Dick, and Edgar Rice Burroughs, writers who are titans of Fantasy, Adventure, Science Fiction, and Horror are brushed under the rug for the founder of Scientology that is just not right Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 18, 2017 Report Share Posted March 18, 2017 "You're lucky I'm using mangoes. My instructor used coconuts." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 20, 2017 Report Share Posted March 20, 2017 "Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you are also the murderer." -Felipe Fortes tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 31, 2017 Report Share Posted March 31, 2017 "I'm talking to you, professor poopypants." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 31, 2017 Report Share Posted March 31, 2017 "Who wants to look like Cincinnati?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted April 5, 2017 Report Share Posted April 5, 2017 "The devil is a squirrel." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted April 7, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 My dentist: Your crown is ready Me: When's the coronation? Lucius Alexander I have a palindromedary, I can move backwards already Hermit and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 "Peeps on pizza is as gross as you'd think it would be." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xavier Onassiss Posted April 11, 2017 Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 Co-worker: "You working until close?" Me: <Looking around at empty store> "Nope, just pretending to work until close. Pays the same, though." Pariah and Tjack 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted April 12, 2017 Report Share Posted April 12, 2017 "You have white-out on your head." "It's not white-out, just leprosy." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xavier Onassiss Posted April 14, 2017 Report Share Posted April 14, 2017 "Dang it, woman, hair care should be consensual!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xavier Onassiss Posted April 16, 2017 Report Share Posted April 16, 2017 Awesome Gamer Spouse: "We should get going." Me: "You should put on some shoes, dear." AGS: "Shoes are a pain in the butt." Me: "You're wearing them wrong." Cancer and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted May 4, 2017 Report Share Posted May 4, 2017 "I like your haircut. It makes you look like a penguin." Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted May 7, 2017 Report Share Posted May 7, 2017 "That's a nice set of d20s.... Okay, that's the nerdiest thing I've ever said!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 7, 2017 Report Share Posted May 7, 2017 "That's a nice set of d20s.... They were natural, I presume... tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted May 7, 2017 Report Share Posted May 7, 2017 They were natural, I presume... Actually, no. They weren't even dice, but 20-sided markers showing hit points for Magic: The Gathering. A d20 should have its opposite faces add up to 21; these were numbered so that they spiralled downward. But the numbers had a nice font! What? I'm a fan of calligraphy, okay? Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted May 14, 2017 Report Share Posted May 14, 2017 (Apologies in advance for the ick factor.) We game in the basement at the house of a husband-and-wife pair of gamers. The wife was telling us her teenage son was down there the night before. Her: He was down here with his girlfriend, and they got the sleeping bags out. Now he has one of the sleeping bags in the wash - he said he "spilled orange juice" on it. Me: Tell him if it's coming out orange, he really should see a doctor about that. tkdguy, Rails and Pariah 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 16, 2017 Report Share Posted May 16, 2017 "Mr. _____, I think I deserve extra credit because I got mad and threw my phone, and now it's shattered." Old Man and BoloOfEarth 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted May 16, 2017 Report Share Posted May 16, 2017 "Mr. _____, I think I deserve extra credit because I got mad and threw my phone, and now it's shattered." So many possible responses, it's a shame you could only say one. "Ah, I didn't know that. Thank you for telling me. That'll be... 5 more points off for poor impulse control." "I think I deserve extra pay for having to listen to idiotic statements like that, but I don't foresee my paycheck going up anytime soon." "Unfortunately, I didn't see you do that, so I can't give you points. However.... is that your new replacement phone? Perhaps you could demonstrate..." Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 16, 2017 Report Share Posted May 16, 2017 If it's a physics class, ask whether the student was exploring collisions and momentum and energy transfer. If the answer is yes, then give a stray point. If it's not a physics class, or the answer is no, then explain that that's a different class. EDIT: Giving students what they ask for is easy, especially if it has no real direct effect on their grade. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted May 16, 2017 Report Share Posted May 16, 2017 "Shoot at the moon. If you miss, unload the rest of your magazine at it, because f--k the moon." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 "These equations appear terrifying." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 "These equations appear terrifying." The proper response being, "You have no idea." <cue maniacal laughter> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 Actually, that's out of a textbook. The next sentence (I don't have the book at hand at the moment) goes something like, "However, the solutions are easily found, and are treated in a number of elementary mathematical physics texts." That line is intended to be reassuring, but for most people, yes, it would parse as maniacal laughter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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