tkdguy Posted August 3, 2017 Report Share Posted August 3, 2017 "You play the guitar? I'm more of a comb and tissue paper man myself." Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burrito Boy Posted August 3, 2017 Report Share Posted August 3, 2017 "One good thing about having a bad hip is that I kind of walk like John Wayne now." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted August 8, 2017 Report Share Posted August 8, 2017 "I'm not very good at basketball. I keep getting tackled." "Wrong sport." "Not the way my friends play basketball!" Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted August 27, 2017 Report Share Posted August 27, 2017 "If you were invited to a bonfire, would you go?" "Only if there's human sacrifice involved." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted August 31, 2017 Report Share Posted August 31, 2017 Apparently, a biology teacher told my sister and her classmates that "Life is a fatal STD." Cancer, Tom Cowan and Pariah 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 1, 2017 Report Share Posted September 1, 2017 "Everybody and their a*****e is on the road this evening. Emphasis on the a*****es." tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 1, 2017 Report Share Posted September 1, 2017 "Your daughter is so cute! Where does she get her dark hair?" "My hair used to be that dark." "Before you got old?" "Yes." Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 1, 2017 Report Share Posted September 1, 2017 With me the second line would have been "Before it thinned to near nothing." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burrito Boy Posted September 1, 2017 Report Share Posted September 1, 2017 From a dream: "I didn't go to community college and get a degree in mechanical engineering so Hulk Hogan could tell me how to do my job!" Cancer and tkdguy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 4, 2017 Report Share Posted September 4, 2017 "It doesn't bother me at all to give my friend my three hoes for the weekend." "You callous rake, you." (Yes, a major gardening project is under discussion.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 5, 2017 Report Share Posted September 5, 2017 "If we weren't meant to consume dairy, cheese wouldn't be so damn tasty." tkdguy, Burrito Boy and Rails 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 6, 2017 Report Share Posted September 6, 2017 "Okay, that was disgusting and inconvenient." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted September 7, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2017 "More fun than a barrel of monkeys. If the monkeys are all dead." Lucius Alexander The palindromedary wasn't there for that conversation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 I read this in a newspaper instead of hearing it directly. But it was overheard by someone, so it still counts. "A man should try everything once. Except incest and aqua-aerobics." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 I'll pass on making a criticality accident, too. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burrito Boy Posted September 10, 2017 Report Share Posted September 10, 2017 While working to repair the wheelbarrow I salvaged at the dump, my friend noticed the wheel was crooked and asked, "Do you want to go to the wheelbarrow races in Virginia City like that?" tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndianaJoe3 Posted September 10, 2017 Report Share Posted September 10, 2017 "I guess if I had stopped to do the math, I would've realized I had ordered 42 pounds of Skittles. But there was no stopping and there was no math. There was only lime." Cancer and tkdguy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 11, 2017 Report Share Posted September 11, 2017 "With this being the last full week before classes, meetings are alighting on my calendar like flies on droppings." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted September 13, 2017 Report Share Posted September 13, 2017 "That's just Thor and Odin wishing me a happy birthday." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 19, 2017 Report Share Posted September 19, 2017 "We don't know how life on Earth is going to end (Spoiler alert: It's probably going to be our fault), but we do know it won't be because of a supernova." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burrito Boy Posted September 20, 2017 Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 "Don't bark at sh*t that doesn't matter." Hermit 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 20, 2017 Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 "Ever wonder what it would look like to watch a drunk baby try to walk? Just watch the BYU offense. It can't be much different." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 26, 2017 Report Share Posted September 26, 2017 "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes, it's the quiet voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 27, 2017 Report Share Posted September 27, 2017 "In God we trust. All others need data." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 29, 2017 Report Share Posted September 29, 2017 "That's easily the most diabolical use of one hundred chickens I've ever seen!" Hermit and tkdguy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.