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The Non Sequitor Thread


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Re: The Non Sequitor Thread

 

Assessment programs themselves should be assessed periodically, and since it is apparent that the purpose of all assessment programs is to inflict anxiety and misery upon those who are assessed, the optimal assessment of an assessment program is the following.

 

The director of the assessment program is to be executed by hanging at the end of his/her three-year term. At that time, the right to pull the lever of the gallows will be auctioned off; only those who are subject to the assessment programs administered by the assessment program director will be allowed to bid in the auction.

 

The quantitative measures of the quality of the assessment director will be:

  1. the dollar amount of the winning bid for the privilege of pulling the lever on the gallows;
  2. paid attendance count at the execution of the outgoing director;
  3. count of torches and pitchforks present at the execution of the outgoing director;
  4. net income from sales at concessionaires working at the execution of the outgoing director;
  5. number of sheepshank knots found in the entrails of a nine-banded armadillo ritually sacrified at the moment of the execution.

For items 1 and 4, higher numbers indicate greater merit, while for 2 and 3, smaller numbers indicate greater merit in the outgoing director; for item 5, the third decimal digit in the natural logarithm of the knot count will be used, where the absolute value of the fractional difference from 7 is the figure of merit, again with smaller numbers indicating higher merit.

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Re: The Non Sequitor Thread

 

I may have said this before, but....

 

The hazard in having too many eggs in the air is NOT that you will fail to catch one or more of them and they will fall down and break. The hazard is that one or more may fail to come back down and you don't notice.

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