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Upon reading a bad movie (or book) review, it's always fair to ask whether the reviewer had any idea what he was watching. Some people have no appreciation for genre films and simply shouldn't watch them, let alone review them.

 

It's also fair to ask, however, if the movie got its point across. And how well did it do the job? I'm reserving judgement on this one. And keeping my $10.

 

 

I sat through the entirey of The Fifth Element -- nigh on 2 hrs of overdone special effects, extremely annoying characters, completely disjointed wrting, and nothing else, for what amounted to a lame retelling of the Pandora's Box Myth at the very end. Except the last thing out of the box was love instead of hope -- apparenly the writers had given up on hope by that point. Lesson learned. I don't pay full price for any more of these Hollywood science fiction "epics."

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Upon reading a bad movie (or book) review, it's always fair to ask whether the reviewer had any idea what he was watching. Some people have no appreciation for genre films and simply shouldn't watch them, let alone review them.

 

It's also fair to ask, however, if the movie got its point across. And how well did it do the job? I'm reserving judgement on this one. And keeping my $10.

 

 

I sat through the entirey of The Fifth Element -- nigh on 2 hrs of overdone special effects, extremely annoying characters, completely disjointed wrting, and nothing else, for what amounted to a lame retelling of the Pandora's Box Myth at the very end. Except the last thing out of the box was love instead of hope -- apparenly the writers had given up on hope by that point. Lesson learned. I don't pay full price for any more of these Hollywood science fiction "epics."

Well if you didnt like The Fifth Element, then you probably wont like this movie. Jupiter is like Element but with less annoying characters, less humor and a more epic scope.

 

I loved Fifth Element, annoying characters and all.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I saw it, reluctantly. (My wife and son wanted to see it, so we did.) I didn't walk out thinking, "That's two hours of my life I'll never get back," but--it was not a good movie.

 

Visually breathtaking, yes. It was a B-movie with A-level costuming and special effects. But the plot makes little sense. "The refrigerator logic is strong in this one," my wife said.

 

The heroine, Jupiter Jones, shows little agency throughout most of the film, and is very naive. On the other hand, Luke Skywalker (to name one male epic space fantasy protagonist) also showed relatively little agency in Star Wars. A lot of things happen TO him, through most of the movie, and he handles them well, but not a lot happens because he made a decision and then acted to implement it. The same is true of Jupiter Jones in this film. In part, I think, that's because in both films the protagonist is the newcomer being introduced to this amazing movie world* (and thus, the audience is as well), so they don't know enough to make and carry out complex plans, but they think on their feet and have the right personality/values to choose the correct path--and to sway more powerful figures to their side in their battles against the real villains).

 

But a lot of things really don't make sense, if you think too hard about them. Why, for instance, if the gravity boots and force-shield Caine used were so phenomenally useful (as they clearly were), was nobody else using them?

 

*Or, in Luke's case, being introduced to the gritty details of the romanticized "heroic rebels vs vaguely evil empire" he knew from stories--he got first-hand experience of both, things he'd never known before.

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You can get away with a character with little agency if they gain some at the end of the story. Luke finally made one critical decision in the trench run. Haven't seen JA so I don't know if Mila similarly became her own person by the end of her story, or if she's Forrest Gump.

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Trusting in himself, and Ben, who isn't really still there, but just force boosted words of wisdom at that point in the film (and before the sequels came out turning him into a force ghost, remember that the first one was originally a stand-alone movie) is clearly seen as his personal growth. He also convinces a hardened and cynical rogue to trust in friendship and idealism (by...uh, not really doing anything, just giving Han someone he doesn't want to leave to die), and gets the girl (seriously, walking out of the theater in 1977, could you have said, "oh, she's going to go for the smuggler" ?).

 

JS's heroine doesn't have that much less agency. She's just not that interesting or very developed. It's the first pitfall of starting sci-fi authors. There was an Onion article maybe a decade back "Sci Fi writer creates boring, cardboard-cutout protagonist to carry story in elaborate, overthought universe." It fits like a tee. The Wachowskis have been doing this too long to call it a beginner's mistake.

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I also wouldn't have said brother and sister. 

 

And that's because they weren't. I don't care what George says about having six or nine movies planned out. That's post-success BS. Star Wars was a one-shot, and "farmboy saves the galaxy and gets the girl PRINCESS" is as classic as it gets. The whole twins thing was a retcon.

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Finally someone else dares to come out and say what I've been thinking. It's clear to me that Lucas had nothing more than a general backstory when he made Episode IV. But by actually calling it Episode IV in the title sequence, he fooled everyone into thinking that he had a lot more material worked out than he really did.

 

And it showed up in all the plot holes and weird situations. The whole sibling thing made parts of Episodes IV and V just icky. The same thing goes for Amidala and Anakin's relationship. An officer on the first Death Star flatly doesn't believe in the Force, calling it an "ancient religion", when the Jedi had only been eliminated two decades earlier. How does Leia remember her mother's face? Why does Obi-Wan turn out to be a lying d*ck? Why does Yoda act like he hasn't seen a flashlight before, or food? The whole series is just buckling under the weight of all the retcons.

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Well, the Yoda thing can be explained by the fact that he was play acting to gauge Luke before revealing that he was Yoda, and the "episode IV" part was added after the original release. However, yes, the whole story was built one movie at a time, with little effort towards after-the-fact continuity.

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Finally someone else dares to come out and say what I've been thinking. It's clear to me that Lucas had nothing more than a general backstory when he made Episode IV. But by actually calling it Episode IV in the title sequence, he fooled everyone into thinking that he had a lot more material worked out than he really did.

 

And it showed up in all the plot holes and weird situations. The whole sibling thing made parts of Episodes IV and V just icky. The same thing goes for Amidala and Anakin's relationship. An officer on the first Death Star flatly doesn't believe in the Force, calling it an "ancient religion", when the Jedi had only been eliminated two decades earlier. How does Leia remember her mother's face? Why does Obi-Wan turn out to be a lying d*ck? Why does Yoda act like he hasn't seen a flashlight before, or food? The whole series is just buckling under the weight of all the retcons.

The whole Episode IV thing only came out with the re-release to fund Episode I. Prior to that it was just, "Star Wars". To misquote Scotty in TNG, "Show me Star Wars. No bloody 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6!"

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Finally someone else dares to come out and say what I've been thinking. It's clear to me that Lucas had nothing more than a general backstory when he made Episode IV. But by actually calling it Episode IV in the title sequence, he fooled everyone into thinking that he had a lot more material worked out than he really did.

 

And it showed up in all the plot holes and weird situations. The whole sibling thing made parts of Episodes IV and V just icky. The same thing goes for Amidala and Anakin's relationship. An officer on the first Death Star flatly doesn't believe in the Force, calling it an "ancient religion", when the Jedi had only been eliminated two decades earlier. How does Leia remember her mother's face? Why does Obi-Wan turn out to be a lying d*ck? Why does Yoda act like he hasn't seen a flashlight before, or food? The whole series is just buckling under the weight of all the retcons.

 

I didn't mind adding the "Episode IV" bit--the movie was an homage to movie serials, so that fit. But going on to pretend that he had some grand arc planned out is just insulting. As you say, the story buckles under the weight of all those retcons. And yeah--twenty years ago, there were these mystics who could do for-real magic and had laser swords that could cut thru anything, but then they were wiped out...and people who were ALIVE AT THE TIME now no longer believe that they existed.

 

Say what? But worst insult of all, worse even than "She's your sister" is "What I said was true...from a certain point of view."

 

No, no it was not. "Darth Vader betrayed and murdered your father" in no way matches up with "Darth Vader IS your father." Gaaah.

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No, no it was not. "Darth Vader betrayed and murdered your father" in no way matches up with "Darth Vader IS your father." Gaaah.

 

That might actually be the worst part.  I don't think it really hit me until long after ROTJ came out, and then I rewatched ANH, and that scene.  And then I was like, "You know, that is an outright lie.  Kenobi is a lying sack of... and Yoda too."  It's like mixing Game of Thrones into my space opera.

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  • 2 months later...

I just watched this tonight (a rental). Oh...sorry....rise from the dead blah blah blah. Okay, got that out of the way. Just watched this tonight and though I was not overly impressed with anything in the movie, I do not understand the really low rating it received from Rotten Tomatoes. There was nothing groundbreaking or special about the movie but it was entertaining. Based on the earlier back and forth between me and Nu Soard, I kept calling Caine "Trinity" in my mind. :)

 

Sean Bean's character actually survived to the end credits. When's the last time that happened? (Rhetorical/snide question. I really don't need an answer). The movie get's a markup because of that alone.

 

Bees?  BEES!?!  What kind of Elder Horror is this witch? She can control bees. Makes me shiver just thinking of it. Next thing you know she will be making out with Candyman. I wonder if the so-called bad guys were just protecting trying to protect the universe from an Outer God in its larval stage. ( I kid but bees, really? The in universe explanation was nonsensical to me.)

 

So summary (instead of parenthesized ramblings): Not a great movie but entertaining to watch. Some fun ideas. I particularly like the gravity technology that allowed the cool disjointed ship forms.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

I didn't mind adding the "Episode IV" bit--the movie was an homage to movie serials, so that fit. But going on to pretend that he had some grand arc planned out is just insulting. As you say, the story buckles under the weight of all those retcons. And yeah--twenty years ago, there were these mystics who could do for-real magic and had laser swords that could cut thru anything, but then they were wiped out...and people who were ALIVE AT THE TIME now no longer believe that they existed.

 

Say what? But worst insult of all, worse even than "She's your sister" is "What I said was true...from a certain point of view."

 

No, no it was not. "Darth Vader betrayed and murdered your father" in no way matches up with "Darth Vader IS your father." Gaaah.

 

 

Well, not from your point of view.

 

 

Lucius Alexander

 

Lucius - I am your palindromedary tagline!

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  • 1 month later...

For my 2 cents.

 

I think that Jupiter's only real failing is the same as a few other movies that have tanked in the last few years.

 

Sometimes there is no real gripping under-story or driving concept. 

 

Sometimes a movie is just there to be fun.  Even if the maker wanted to make some kind of statement, the movie itself is just fun despite them. 

 

Star Wars the movie was great despite Lucas. 

Jupiter was a fun movie if you are looking for a fun movie. 

 

If you are intent on demanding earth-shattering revelations, then you will be disappointed. 

 

Just like Sky-Captain and the World of Tomorrow 2004 and Pacific Rim 2013, they were great movies made within their genre's.  But if you were unfamiliar with what they were making or tried to shoehorn reality into them, well they would suck.     I had a great time watching both movies as I spotted various bits and pieces from various Pulp and Giant Mecha works of the past. 

 

Jupiter was a fun very well made rollicking space opera.  Period.  

 

As for Darth Vader and whether your father died or not.  That gave me the least problems.   The whole idea of saying a relative had died when they went off and became the enemy was pretty common in the novels I read as I grew up.    X has betrayed the family and their core beliefs.  He is renounced completely and is dead to everyone and the child grows up being told he is dead.    Old school trope.

So finding out Vader was really Luke's "dead" father was just a plot twist to me.  Nothing really inconsistent in the back story.  

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  • 4 months later...

Apologies for the necropost but I only just watched the Blu-ray last night and wanted to chime in.

 

I agree that Jupiter didn't have much agency through most of the film, and it was something I actively noticed while watching. I felt there were too many instances of Caine swooping in to rescue her; Princess Leia and Ellen Ripley would have been appalled. However, at least she was played as smart, insightful, and appropriately skeptical of everyone she met along the way. She had a big heart but she was no dummy. I also give the film props for going to the trouble to show us the Russian family that formed her values and kept her grounded even after she acquired "ownership" of the planet.

 

Yes, bees instinctively recognizing and revering "royalty" was dumb. I can't help but think the Wachowskis could have convinced us of her legitimacy in some other way.

 

I liked the various concepts explored in the movie, though the weakest of all for me was how extraterrestrial activity is so easily covered up on Earth. Far better, and more intereting, was the idea of a galactic civilization so advanced that the number one commodity is the ability to regenerate all of one's cells to a younger age. An economy based entirely on extending lifespan has been done before, and more thoughtfully, but I felt it helped the space opera genre feel fresh in this case. I also liked the veiled dig about planets being allowed to pass a point of sustainability--thanks to its excessive, over-consumptive population--so they can be "harvested" for maximum profitability. Part of me agrees with Balem that we Terrans are only fit to be harvested for our genetic material now that we've nearly turned our fragile ecosystem into one that can no longer sustain us. I forlornly await our lavishly dressed, perpetually youthful overlords...

 

So thumbs up for the costumes and ship designs and the many, many gorgeous space shots. Thumbs of up for casting Mila Kunis...I could watch her read the phonebook. Thumbs down for the bees and the dopey "aliens cover up everything" concept. Thumbs down for the needlessly long chase and dogfighting scenes. Thumbs sideways for the casting of Channing Tatum and the rather heavy Fifth Element vibe. I love The Fifth Element, but I don't think appropriating some of its more recognizable elements necessarily works to this film's advantage.

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