The Advice Column

[Pariah]

A friend in need is a pain in the neck*.

 

 

[Starlord]

If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, then you're brave enough to ask that girl out.

[Pariah]

Stolen for the Book of Face.

[Cancer]

When confronted with a weird systematic in your lab data that you cannot figure out, waiting until two hours before the end-of-quarter drop-dead ultimate deadline to seek consultation with the instructor is not optimal.

 

((Yes, I did figure out what the problem was.  I was still Not Amused.))

[Starlord]

Give online shopping a try - at least you won't forget where you parked.

[Starlord]

Marry the person who gives you the same feeling you get when you see your food coming in a restaurant.

[Badger]

6 hours ago, Starlord said:

Marry the person who gives you the same feeling you get when you see your food coming in a restaurant.

But back when i was still attempting to find a mate. The thought of talking to them always gave my stomach the feeling of needing to go.

[Starlord]

If you're going to commit to a relationship, make sure you're the crazy one.

[Pariah]

[archer]

On 3/25/2021 at 11:25 AM, Starlord said:

Marry the person who gives you the same feeling you get when you see your food coming in a restaurant.

 

When I see my food coming in a restaurant, the first thing I always note is that everyone else's plate of food is more attractive than mine and that my plate has the least amount of food on it, regardless of what anyone at the table ordered and regardless of how starved I am.

 

I was MUCH more fortunate in finding a wife. 

[Old Man]

12 minutes ago, archer said:

 

When I see my food coming in a restaurant, the first thing I always note is that everyone else's plate of food is more attractive than mine and that my plate has the least amount of food on it, regardless of what anyone at the table ordered and regardless of how starved I am.

 

I was MUCH more fortunate in finding a wife. 

 

Your wife is more attractive than you and... has more food on her? 

[L. Marcus]

Luk-kyyy!

[Pariah]

"If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived." -Jeffrey R. Holland

[Cancer]

It usually helps to follow directions when those are given.  That usually entails reading them or listening to them first.

[Pariah]

[Pariah]

The person who disagrees with you may, in fact, be an idiot. That's no guarantee that you're not an idiot as well. 

[Pariah]

Multitasking is overrated. Do what you're doing.

[Tjack]

48 minutes ago, Pariah said:

Multitasking is overrated. Do what you're doing.

    “I do one thing at a time, I do it very well, and then I move on.”

  Charles Emerson Winchester

 

     It may come from a silly place, but that sentence has helped me to stay relatively sane and effective during many a crisis.

[Tjack]

1)  Never eat anything larger than your head.

2) Never eat anything where you can’t identify the ingredients.

3) Never eat anything that looks like vomit.

    Graham Kerr  1970’s TV chef “The Galloping Gourmet” 

 

  He later withdrew the statement when someone brought up....Pizza.

[Cancer]

Never attempt anything that you would not want to explain to the paramedics.

[Pariah]

Wag more, bark less.

[Cancer]

The use of cigarette papers when smoking salmon is not recommended.

[Pariah]

When life hands you lemons, be grateful, because at least you won't have to worry about getting scurvy. 

[Cancer]

Avoid taking medicine regimens which are known to have the side effect of making your grow more hair, because when they set you on fire the smell will be that much worse.

[Starlord]