Cancer Posted February 26, 2017 Report Share Posted February 26, 2017 ... but aren't, for any of a number of reasons. Usually because people don't want warnings, they want platitudes. Occasionally one does get through, though. Two examples from my life: "An ambition far beyond your reach." -- I got this one at dinner the day I mailed off my last application to grad school. "A handful of patience is worth more than a barrel full of brains." -- I got this one at the celebratory dinner the day I did my PhD oral defense. So to kick this thread off, from a collection of disquieting possibilities I've collected.... You should see a physician. Soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Posted February 26, 2017 Report Share Posted February 26, 2017 From DEFCON years ago: Turns out roofie cookies taste just like regular cookies. Cancer and mattingly 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted February 26, 2017 Report Share Posted February 26, 2017 "Cannibalism is wrong." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sinanju Posted February 26, 2017 Report Share Posted February 26, 2017 Anything, as long as it's an actual FORTUNE. Not a platitude. Not "wise" words. Not lottery numbers. An actual FORTUNE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnia Posted February 26, 2017 Report Share Posted February 26, 2017 "You're a cheap bastard & you won't leave a tip" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted February 26, 2017 Report Share Posted February 26, 2017 "He who goes through turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok." Pattern Ghost and Cancer 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted February 26, 2017 Report Share Posted February 26, 2017 "You will be hungry in an hour." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted February 26, 2017 Report Share Posted February 26, 2017 'For those about to Rock, we salute you' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 26, 2017 Report Share Posted February 26, 2017 "Made in Hong Kong" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted February 26, 2017 Report Share Posted February 26, 2017 "Your fun is wrong." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 26, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 26, 2017 "Those in whom you have placed your trust are about to abrogate agreements." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 26, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 26, 2017 And the obvious: "Do not travel far from toilet facilities for the next few hours." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted February 27, 2017 Report Share Posted February 27, 2017 5, 8, 13, 19, 26, 35, 39 Burrito Boy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteelCold Posted February 27, 2017 Report Share Posted February 27, 2017 "Fruit of the Loom" "The wind shall blow into the willow trees" "Inspected by No.6" "Made in Japan" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DShomshak Posted February 27, 2017 Report Share Posted February 27, 2017 A friend of mine insists that every fortune he's ever read from a cookie still made sense if you added the words, "in bed" to the end, though the meaning usually changed. I have not, however, conducted any research to confirm or deny this. ADDENDUM: It seems to work for Cancer's real-life examples, though. Dean Shomshak Beast 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted February 27, 2017 Report Share Posted February 27, 2017 Anything, as long as it's an actual FORTUNE. Not a platitude. Not "wise" words. Not lottery numbers. An actual FORTUNE. What do you consider an actual FORTUNE? Lucius Alexander The palindromedary would like ours delivered in small unmarked bills Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sinanju Posted February 27, 2017 Report Share Posted February 27, 2017 What do you consider an actual FORTUNE? Lucius Alexander The palindromedary would like ours delivered in small unmarked bills A prediction of something that is going to happen to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted February 27, 2017 Report Share Posted February 27, 2017 And the obvious: "Do not travel far from toilet facilities for the next few hours." That only applies if I get a fortune cookie at Mexican food place. Edit: although, the suggested reading material for me using the toilet after eating Mexican food, would be the Lonesome Dove novel (944 pages, if I remember) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted February 27, 2017 Report Share Posted February 27, 2017 "He who brings knife to gunfight, ends up with leaky body" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ternaugh Posted February 27, 2017 Report Share Posted February 27, 2017 A prediction of something that is going to happen to you. "You will be disappointed with this fortune." Cancer and Nolgroth 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinecone Posted February 27, 2017 Report Share Posted February 27, 2017 " Your starting Pokemon should be Fire type" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndianaJoe3 Posted February 27, 2017 Report Share Posted February 27, 2017 "Duck!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDarkness Posted February 27, 2017 Report Share Posted February 27, 2017 Your wife will continue to not order fries and eat yours, forever. Hermit 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 27, 2017 Report Share Posted February 27, 2017 "Leave the gun. Take the cannoli." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted February 27, 2017 Report Share Posted February 27, 2017 'This is the telephone number of a lawyer who has not lost a case' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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