archer Posted May 21, 2019 Report Share Posted May 21, 2019 Things that should be in fortune cookies...crab meat filling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 22, 2019 Report Share Posted May 22, 2019 "That which hits the fan will not be distributed evenly." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 5, 2019 Report Share Posted June 5, 2019 If you love somebody, set them free. If they return, it means that no one else wanted them either. Set them free again. BoloOfEarth, Old Man, pinecone and 1 other 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 14, 2019 Report Share Posted June 14, 2019 "The razor blade is sharp, but cannot cut down a tree. The axe is strong, but cannot cut hair." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 20, 2019 Report Share Posted June 20, 2019 Tom Cowan 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted June 20, 2019 Report Share Posted June 20, 2019 Sooo... back when my wife and I were dating but I hadn't yet proposed (but was thinking about doing so), we ate out at a Chinese restaurant. Her cookie's fortune was "Make up your mind and do what you want," and she joked that it should have been my fortune (a not-so-subtle hint that she was ready for me to propose). Unbeknownst to her, I pocketed that fortune. Then, when we were planning to go to another Chinese restaurant for her birthday a few months later, I wrote my proposal on the back of that fortune, bought a box of fortune cookies, and replaced the fortune in one of the cookies with that one, putting that fortune cookie into a sandwich bag in my pocket to pull a switcheroo after dinner. (helpful hint - don't do this several days in advance, or the cookie gets stale) You can imagine my irritation when the waitress brought the fortune cookies, and they were both sealed in plastic as above (but thankfully without the fortune showing). Luckily, I was able to grab and unwrap both, then switch the cookie out and give her the right one. My then-girlfriend opened it, read the fortune on the front of it, said the *EXACT SAME THING* she had said before, and went to set it down without even noticing my proposal on the back. I had to practically force her to flip the fortune over and read the proposal. Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toxxus Posted June 20, 2019 Report Share Posted June 20, 2019 On 6/13/2019 at 9:02 PM, Pariah said: "The razor blade is sharp, but cannot cut down a tree. The axe is strong, but cannot cut hair." Someone needs a couple more levels in Axes. BoloOfEarth 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 30, 2019 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2019 There are many kinds of errors. Believing you know them all is among them. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted June 30, 2019 Report Share Posted June 30, 2019 Another thing that should be found in fortune cookies is ricin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassandra Posted July 1, 2019 Report Share Posted July 1, 2019 You will die by the time you finish reading this sentence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 1, 2019 Report Share Posted July 1, 2019 "Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassandra Posted July 2, 2019 Report Share Posted July 2, 2019 Richard Widmark Played Arthur Curry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassandra Posted July 2, 2019 Report Share Posted July 2, 2019 Santa Anna's Artificial Leg Is In A Military Museum In Illinois Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 3, 2019 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2019 Forgive your enemies, but remember their names. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 3, 2019 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2019 The pigment Prussian blue is a treatment for heavy metal poisoning, as may become quite important to you in the near future. Cygnia and pinecone 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnia Posted July 3, 2019 Report Share Posted July 3, 2019 Look, "spiritual energy healing" is humbug. But whatever ya did, the placebo effect helped me immensely. Hermit 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 18, 2019 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2019 If you desire fame desperately enough, you can get it, but it will be costly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 24, 2019 Report Share Posted July 24, 2019 “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain. “ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 29, 2019 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2019 (the medications that Death Tribble should be taking but isn't) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 31, 2019 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2019 The Computer is your Friend. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjalund Posted July 31, 2019 Report Share Posted July 31, 2019 2 hours ago, Cancer said: The Computer is your Friend. written in computerized font Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 1, 2019 Author Report Share Posted August 1, 2019 If you are doing something you'll regret in the morning, sleeping into the afternoon is unlikely to retrieve the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 1, 2019 Author Report Share Posted August 1, 2019 Being fired by a superior who hates being upstaged is a mark of competence, not insubordination. pinecone and tkdguy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 1, 2019 Report Share Posted August 1, 2019 Do the thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassandra Posted August 28, 2019 Report Share Posted August 28, 2019 It's the fear of becoming Mark Hamill that causes people to become Valerie Bertinelli or Jim Belushi Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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