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A Thread for Random Musings

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Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

God bless little sisters. My Sis found out "3rd World" was at Barnes & Noble, and then ordered one there, then told some friends. I didn't even know it was on Barnes & Noble. Wow. I have an ISBN number and everything

 

I R A RITER!

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Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

According to Wikipedia, August was originally the sixth month in the ten-month calendar created by the Romans on the foundation of the city c. 753 BC. The calendar was later reorganized by other rulers, including Julius Caesar and his successor Augustus Caesar. In 8 BC it was renamed in honor of Augustus. Previously it was simply the "sixth month" or in Latin, Sextilis.

 

All hail Sextilis!!!

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Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

Massive confusion at the intensity of the other person's response until I realize they are confusing bunraku with bukake. Then I can't stop laughing.

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Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

And so it came to pass, on 12:24am, August 10th, 2011, Klytus became, for exactly one year, the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything.

 

Yeah, it's early, but I don't feel like staying up late to post it "on time"...

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Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

Is there a blanket on my star? So much buzz, so little honey. Ready, Fire, Aim! One thousand songs to pick from and no one here can sing. En Guarde and double Dumas on you!

I don't like the taste, but I love the presentation. If I could put kind in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do, is shake it up and spray love all around, but I mean that in a non porno type way. Way down yonder on the a yellow liver....

I know fifteen ways to love your liver.

but I don't like liver.

 

Oh no it does not. Let's measure the hurts. Take the corner.

What if the corner takes you instead?

 

If silence is golden, why hasn't its value gone up in the marketplace?

 

I'm done with empty.

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Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

What is money?

 

Centurion Brutus Maximus: "Ave, local farmer!"

Local Farmer: "Ave, Centurion! Come from Rome with your cohort, 'ave you?"

Centurion: "A long march, my good man, and a longer one to go. All the way to Mesopotamia, to teach the Parthians what for."

Local Farmer: "What for?"

Centurion: "Who knows? I signed up for the looting. Anyway, the lads marched 20 miles today, and they're feeling a might peckish."

Local Farmer: "Good luck with that, Centurion."

Centurion: "Er, not to be a pest or anything, but I can't help but notice that the folk of your village are driving all their cattle up to yon ancient hill fort."

Local Farmer: "Yep."

Centurion: "Very peckish."

Local Farmer: "Those arseholes at the village across the river haven't rebuilt their palisades and restocked their sling stones since my sire was a boy. We did ours last winter."

Centurion: "Well, as much as the lads would enjoy a chance to exterminate your neighbours, we're a bit, well, tuckered. I have a proposal."

Local Farmer: "I preferred your first plan. Unless this one is totally awesome."

Centurion: "What the heck did you just say?"

Local Farmer: "Hey. It's 100AD. I just coined a phrase."

Centurion: "Here's my proposal: you hand over 20 good cows, and I'll excuse you from forced labour for the next year."

Local Farmer: "Pull the other one. It's got bells on."

Centurion: "No. Seriously. See these round metal discs? They're called 'coins.' I'll give you some. Everyone uses them down in the flat country."

Local Farmer: "I seen 'em. And I know you can't eat 'em. Cows you can eat."

Centurion: "No, you can't eat them. But you can give them to the governor when he comes by, and he won't take a labour draft."

Local Farmer: "What?"

Centurion: "It's called 'paying taxes.' It's the coming thing."

Local Farmer. "Hrrm."

Centurion: "And I can't help noticing that a landslide has carried away a good 40 feet of your northern wall."

Local Farmer: "Taxes, you say."

Centurion: "It's certainly that or death. See? You're not the only one with a turn of phrase."

Local Farmer: "Or we could just trade some of these here coins for cows with the lads over the hills, straight up."

Centurion: "Whatever. Look. I'm not your financial adviser. I just want some darn cows."

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Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

Stepping through the crowd, she seemed to be surrounded in a halo of light. Oh he'd seen prettier girls, up close even, but never a smile so genuine combined with a nose up turned just so. Her brown hair couldn't be defined poetically - not by him anyway - but he liked the way it softly framed her face.

 

She had a few freckles and big blue eyes, of course the eyes were enhanced by her glasses, yes he'd always had a soft spot for glasses. There was an elegant efficiency of movement, she seemed comfortable with herself but not so vain as to make every movement an attention getting device.

 

In truth, she captured his imagination like no other before, which is probably why he just stood there, slack-jawed and watched her walk away.

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Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

There's a story in Chuang Tze (Or Dwong Zuh or however he's spelling his name these days) about a monkey trainer handing out nuts to the monkeys.

 

The monkey trainer said "You get three in the morning and four at night." And the monkeys were furious.

So the monkey trainer said "Alright, you can have four in the morning and three at night." And the monkeys were happy.

 

I'll give you three guesses what made me think of this story.

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary offers four guesses, if it's at night.

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