tkdguy Posted December 21, 2015 Report Share Posted December 21, 2015 Why am I invariably more popular on message boards than in real life? Burrito Boy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted December 21, 2015 Report Share Posted December 21, 2015 Jimmy Hill passed away at the weekend. Famous in the 70s to people watching Match of the Day as a pundit, he had been a footballer and the head of the players union. In the latter role he pushed for, and got, an end to a pay cap. He went on to manage Coventry City for five years taking them to the top division before quitting to work in television. He introduced pre match entertainment and the first full-fledged match programme which was in colour, the first electronic scoreboard, commissioned the first all seater stadium in England and the first to show a live match via 4 giant screens at Coventry. He presented Match of the Day for 25 years notching up 600 appearances. He was instantly recognisable by his beard and pronounced chin which led to him being a frequent target for characterisation in cartoons and by impressionists. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted December 25, 2015 Report Share Posted December 25, 2015 File under odd. Justin Beiber asked his fans to stop buying his single this week to let a charity record by the Lewisham and Greenwich National Health Service Choir get to No 1 for Christmas. And it just did. Beiber is No 2. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted December 26, 2015 Report Share Posted December 26, 2015 On seeing a stage performance of the same show ... One of the odd experiences of my youth was seeing The Sound of Music (film, Julie Andrews starring) in a US Army theater in Bremerhaven, Germany. When the scene came where the Nazi admiral shows up and orders Captain von Trapp to depart for Bremerhaven immediately, there were scattered hoots and cheers in the theater. That was circa 1969, and IIRC we were seated in a building that had been seized for their own use by the victorious Allies about seven years after the Anschluss, the immediate fallout of which provides the deadly tension in the play/film. Being in my early teens then, and less removed in time from the historical event portrayed in the show than I am now from my sitting in that movie theatre, I grasped the overarching historical framework only superficially. It was only on our way out of the stage performance yesterday that I realized the basic fundamental reason I saw the film in that particular place was the same as the cause of the flight of the von Trapps. I do not attach any cosmic significance to that recursion of cause and event, and it was too reasoned to have any feelings of deja vu, but it was a strange realization to have had forty-plus years later. Lucius 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted December 28, 2015 Report Share Posted December 28, 2015 For a dose of amusing and appalling, go to weather.gov and read the various weather warnings in effect for various parts of the country. It is hard to believe, but yes, there are places where people are bigger weather wimps than the folks here in the Seattle area. Also, there are areas where living there, IMO, is prima facie evidence of utter derangement and everyone still dwelling there obviously had their frontal lobes destroyed by cold long ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted December 28, 2015 Report Share Posted December 28, 2015 Nuh-uh! My frontal lobe is working beautifully! tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted December 29, 2015 Report Share Posted December 29, 2015 I am at the core of the spiral, but is it expanding, or contracting? Is either good? Will the expansion tear me apart like a surreal drawing and quartering? Will the Contraction crush me like the depths of an invisible ocean? Does the purple of my prose make me a king, or the joker? Does speaking in metaphors cry for attention, or conceal? Both? Neither? How much structure belongs in a random musing anyway? Bazza 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted December 30, 2015 Report Share Posted December 30, 2015 The problem with having an encyclopedic vocabulary is that half the time, nobody understands what you're talking about. Burrito Boy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted January 1, 2016 Report Share Posted January 1, 2016 Why waste so much of your time and effort hating people? Surely if you're as successful and awesome as you claim on the internet you don't have time to obsess over a group of people you've never met. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 3, 2016 Report Share Posted January 3, 2016 Yes, little boy, your counting skills are most impressive. Now go to sleep already. L. Marcus 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted January 3, 2016 Report Share Posted January 3, 2016 If I could claw out of my skin to escape what maybe coming, I would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 ... Aaaaaaand, the first class of my Winter Quarter begins in about 15 minutes. We'll start with the fun stuff (fluid statics) and then get more and more whacked-out with time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted January 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 This is not how things were supposed to be. Lawnmower Boy and Burrito Boy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawnmower Boy Posted January 12, 2016 Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 A faq for employees: Q: "Do you carry rice?" A: No. Eating rice makes you Chinese. [Employee will now provide customer with impression of how Chinese people look, talk, sp. emph. on transposing "l" and "r.") Q: "Do you carry tofu?" A: No. Tofu is a hippy food. Are you a Communist? Have you ever been a Communist? Q: "Do you carry milk?" A: "No. Milk is white. White food gives you mucus. Increased mucus imbalances your precious bodily fluids. Imbalanced fluids leaches away your vitality, and sex leads to babies, and we sell more stuff to people with babies. Why don't you have babies? You should have babies. Q: "Do you carry disposable gloves?" A: Of course not. Remember those 50s TV shows, with people doing dishes in those long dishgloves, people like Ethel and Lucy and Evangeline? Don't look at me that way: I don't remember names from old fifties TV shows. I'm not old. Why are you so old? Q: "Do you carry protein powder?" A: "They carry protein powder at health stores. Does this look like a health store to you? Have you been down our snack aisle?" Q: "Do you carry bath towels?" A: This is a grocery store. In a mall. An expensive mall, where floor space is at a premium. With a department store down the hall. You know, the kind of place where you go to buy home furnishings. So of course we carry bath towels. They're in our linen section, on our furniture floor, in our home furnishing wing. .... This random musing is dedicated to the idiot who came up with the idea of a "Compliments" store brand; and developed it into the idea of giving away "Free Compliments brand" products. Thank you, idiot, thank you. I dedicate this shift of taking one old person after another to the pop aisle and physically showing them the section of shelf dedicated to Compliments brand soda to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawnmower Boy Posted January 12, 2016 Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 “The Theseus is only the first of a family of Bristol turbine units in which the primary objective is the attainment of the highest possible thermal efficiency consistent with reasonable weight and bulk.” First of all, congratulations, 1945 engineer, for ruining the passive voice for the rest of us. Second, and pardon me if I'm misunderstanding you, you're saying that in the future, Bristol Aerospace will focus on building small, light, efficient engines. Instead of . . . ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burrito Boy Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 You're rude to somebody and then you're surprised when they're rude back? *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 Today, I am going to muse... happily Mmm... that pickle was delish If Chewbacca played for the Browns, would the other team have to let the wookie win? I have good friends. I will probably not win any lottery, but dreaming has been nice. I have a fluffy dog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 There were 2 videos on Youtube with 1 billion views. Now there are 16 with another 3 million views off. Gangnam style is 4 million off 2.5 billion views. The one I don't understand is LMFAO and Party Rock Anthem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted January 14, 2016 Report Share Posted January 14, 2016 The office won 15 dollars. Hermit 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 19, 2016 Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 Most esteemed neighbor, I recognize that on Monday morning you were most upset to discover that someone who'd been over to watch the football games with you had taken your stash of pot, but standing in your front yard screaming at them over the phone at the crack of 11 on Monday morning, regaling them for being a thief and that you have no money with which to buy more, reveals more about your lifestyle* and your circle of friends than your neighbors really wanted to know. Screaming into the telephone is best done indoors, where, if we hear anything at all, we would be inclined to believe more charitable things of you, perhaps involving a more enthusiastic than usual game of Cards Against Humanity or maybe wild sex and screaming orgasms. Your neighbor across the street and a house down, Cancer *Yes, I know marijuana is legal here, as the numerous shops on a nearby arterial advertise (the signs' bring-'em-in rate seems to be $75 an ounce). Coupled with the screaming, it still damages our collective delusions of middle-class decorum and respectability. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 22, 2016 Report Share Posted January 22, 2016 * Cancer manifests the wrath of a Jeremiah-style old prohphet * Why Are Students No Longer Taught How To Solve Two Equations In Two Unknowns? Let the burnings commence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted January 22, 2016 Report Share Posted January 22, 2016 Because administrators and not teachers decide what is common core? Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 22, 2016 Report Share Posted January 22, 2016 ... and what administrators can't do obviously is not important. Gotcha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted January 22, 2016 Report Share Posted January 22, 2016 It was just a guess. Sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 22, 2016 Report Share Posted January 22, 2016 No no, I find it a brilliant and valid deduction that had not occurred to me before. I salute you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.