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A Thread for Random Musings


Old Man

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Yesterday an unknown source of fuel oil began surfacing from the library west parking area....

 

(lead sentence from an announcement this morning relating to reduced capacity in a campus parking lot)

 

Sounds like a great opening line for a modern technohorror adventure.

 

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Through an accident of how my institution assigns email addresses, I get occasional come-hither junk emails, intended for one of our assistant vice presidents, from various scumsucking corporate types trying to sell their stuff.  One that appeared in the Clutter folder late last weeks has the subject line

 

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How to Capture Alumni Data from LinkedIn the Right Way

 

It hadn't occurred to me before that LinkedIn was as bad as Facebook in its own way, but that seems obvious to me now.

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Hostile wildlife experiences in order of increasing suckitude:

  • Wana (sea urchin) spine poke: Didn't even hurt since the spines are so sharp.  Never had one break off in there though; if that happened it would move down a couple places on the list.
  • Dog bite: Ow!  Damn dog!  This was the hit-and-run type of bite, not the wild-pack-rip-you-limb-from-limb type, which I have not experienced.  There is no rabies here.
  • Bee sting: Ow!  Not allergic.  Still like bees.
  • Portuguese Man O'War sting: Ow!  The continued burning/itching is what sucks about these.  Lasts for a couple hours. Welt takes a week to go away.
  • Wasp assdagger:  Ow!  Ow!  Flee!  Not allergic.  Intense but brief.  Passionate hatred of wasps.
  • Fire ants: Ow!  Ow!  Ow ow ow ow ow (dance around): This was after I parked the car on a nest and then got out wearing slippers.  The ants seemed pretty irked.  Comparable to wasp stings for obvious reasons, though these seem to linger and itch longer.
  • Centipede bite: Ow.  Ow! AaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA!  The initial bite is like a minor pinprick, but the growing onset of the subsequent burning is really something.  I mean burning like "is my foot on fire?" burning.  That lasts about 30 minutes, then the aching sets in which is worse.  Lasts most of the day.
  • Box jellyfish sting: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa...   The burning is instantaneous, intense enough to make it hard to think, and takes 24 hours to go away.  The nausea is more worrisome since it makes you wonder if you're going to collapse and die.  More than a couple of these at once and dying would start to look pretty feasible.  The scar took almost a year to fade.
  • Tiger shark bite: Have not experienced one of these yet.

At least I don't live in Australia.

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