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The Adventures of "Fish Guy" (Superhero fiction)


Hermit

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I'll live.  Just hope Fish Boy... er, Eel does as well.

A subconsciously dissonant item that keeps cropping up from the cesspool of my subconscious is a piece of music, a line from a song in the old Dr. Seuss Grinch Christmas show, as sung by Boris Karloff....

... You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch; You're as slippery as an eel ....

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Okay, today we don't quite get to the fight, but we're moving along

 

 
"So how's this work?" I asked feeling a bit silly for asking. It was clear they had a system of some sort. And silly new guy that I was, I had not read the employee handbook.
 
Arctic Fox made another sniff sound.
 
I came this close to telling her she really needed to see a doctor about that if it persisted for more than 24 hours. 
 
Fortunately, Pinprick was his usual helpful self, "Use your eyes, genius, this may have been a food court, but it's a lot more than that now." He gestured further back, and damn it, if he wasn't right.
 
I'd gotten so caught in meeting Arctic Fox and Tornado... no, strike that, Arctic Fox was trying to get rid of me, she didn't get top billling.... Tornado and Arctic Fox that I hadn't really looked at my surroundings. Yes, it still had a kitchen set up, tables and more so this was obviously the 'mess hall' for the team, but one area had, instead of ticky tacky tables for four or six people, a large crescent shaped table with several seats on the outter side of said crescent looking at a wall which had an array of very high tech looking screens. 
 
On said screens were what I could only assume were different camera taps of the streets and buildings of Costa Sagrado.  It's not as shady as it sounds. Now a days, a lot of buildings have their cameras streaming onto the internet and anyone can see what's going on. Of course, others did look more like the views from street cameras only law enforcement was supposed to have access to, and a few may have been suspiciously akin to drone views. 
 
On second thought, it was about as shady as it sounds. The superhero community has a bit of a beam in it's eye when it comes to privacy. We're very defensive our secret identies (And for darn good reason) but more than one hero or team has seen the advantage of putting others under surveillance. I can't say I was completely comfortable with it, but then I was the new guy here and it was a bit soon to make waves about it- no water related puns intended.
 
The images were not static, apparently they sorted and flipped to the center depending on how important it was in general.
"A priority Algorhtym?" I inquired as I stared at the center scene. It was a group of supervillains, and for a moment my throat tightened at a memory.  But no, I didn't recogize any of them. Whew.
 
"Right you are, hon," Mabel's purring voice came from the table, "It looks like the Miscreants are at it again. Probably hoping for more hits."
 
"Mabel?" I said startled, "You're not just in the car?" I asked as I looked over the image studying these guys. The Miscreants (And what was with that name anyway?) seemed to consist of seven members that were currently robbing uptown, the financial district. What didn't make sense was they were mostly terrorizing the citizens outside on the streets, sure, some where being robbed, but others just ridiculed and tossed around, "You said something about hits?"
 
"The Miscreants live for social media hits to their website which goes up everytime authorities take it down, they consider themselves a supervillain reality TV show," Mabel explained, "And darling, I'm not the kind of girl to be tied down to anyone place. I'm just too generous."
 
"Fish Guy, if you're tagging along," Arctic Fox said as if I were some skinblemish she couldn't remove...yet, "Stop flirting with Mabel and get a move on. The Miscreants aren't killers but they don't exactly play soft."
 
I clamped down on my next comment because it might have been rude. Also, she was right. Response time was important and I wasn't exactly picking up the pace here.
 
"Someone give him a communicator," Pinprick suggested, "While Mabel strikes up the hovercar."
 
Tornado touched an impression in the table and a slim drawer opened, there were about 10 items that looked like hearing aids made of some kind of waxy plastic, "Take one, put it in your ear. It'll hook you up to the rest of us."
 
I grabbed one and slipped it in, "not a problem I..." then there was an odd sucking sound, and I swear the thing moved deeper in! The room spun for a second.
"Gah," I said bracing myself as vertigo briefly engulfed me and that communicator slurped near my ear drum, "It's like it's trying to lick my brain."
 
"It'll pass, Fish Guy," Pinprick assured me.
 
Indeed, it already was, "You could have warned me," I grumbled and headed to the car.
 
"Where would be the fun in that?" Tornado chuckled, "I'll be flying side by side with Lady Obsidian."
 
Indeed, Lady Obsidian was standing outside the Hovercar with her armor now on and ready to go. The appearance off it was streamlined enough to let you know a woman was under there, one with scary looking gear. As her chosen handle indicated, the power armor appeared to be made of obsidian, all black and glassy, but I read somewhere it was actually high tech plastics coupled with forcefield engineering.
 
Pinprick leaped into the front seat of the hover car, while Arctic Fox slipped into the passenger side, leaving yours truly the back seat. The sky light opened, and with a whoosh, Tornado was just...gone! I mean, the skylight hadn't even finished and he shot through it and gone out of sight. Slower, but no less impressive, Lady Obsdian light up with a faint glow and followed. 
 
"Test test test?" I muttered touching my ear where the communicator had gone as the hover car lifted up a distant third.
 
"Loud and Clear" Lady Obsidian's voice assured me despite the distance, and indeed she was. I could hear her perfectly well, which was good, because she had more to say, "Priorities for the New Samaratins: Lives of Innocents come first always. Try to keep the fight away from crowds. Don't get separated from the team if you can possibly help it. If you're not sure of the capabilities of who you are fighting, particularly defenses, best to go in soft and work your way up."
 
"Roger that," I said.
 
Arctic Fox rolled her eyes, "Roger that? God how Lame."
 
"I like it," Tornado chuckled, "Remember to check your six, over?"
 
"See what you started, Fish Guy?" Pinprick said irritably, "This gonna be a thing for at least a week with that. I can tell."
 
What could I say but... "Copy that."
 
Groans hit the comm, all save another chuckle from Tornado.
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Got quite the chuckle out of the radio thing at the end. 

 

Back when I was in high school, my siblings and I were in Civil Air Patrol (civilian auxiliary of the USAF), along with my dad (who had flown bombers in WWII).  I remember how mortified I was when we'd go through a fast food drive-through, and dad would use radio protocol when ordering over the speaker.  "We'll have a number six and a number niner combo meal..."  "Okay, pull around to the second window."  "Roger that."

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I like "flying side by sidhe", even if it's just a typo. I may have to use that phrase.

 

Darn you, Changeling the Dreaming!*Shakes fist* 

 

I like it too...but...I think Sidhe is pronounced "Shee" (a la Banshee ) which is too bad because I had an earth fey brick I called Mountain Sidhe for all of a week. 

 

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/sidhe

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I like it too...but...I think Sidhe is pronounced "Shee" (a la Banshee ) which is too bad because I had an earth fey brick I called Mountain Sidhe for all of a week. 

 

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/sidhe

 

It is, and I know it is. But I've typed it enough that my fingers went on autopilot so it wasn't the pronunciation, it was my fingers migrating from a familiar pattern

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Okay, busy day today so I didn't get as far as I liked, but i did promise at least one paragraph so that's met at least. I do find it interesting, trying to balance power levels with introductory fights. Do I let him get slapped around first and risk making him look like a farce beyond the Fish Guy joke? Or do I make him powerful and competent in his first fight and risk accusations of Marty Stu ism? or at least making it too easy? Ah fun times.

 

 
The finacial district of Costa Sagrado, would, at any other time, have struck me as grand if a bit sterile in style. I would have likely thought it nice enough, clearly someone tried to make it impressive, but if anything the over planning over the layout meant it was trying too hard to wow you. I don't know enough about city design to explain it but in normal situations, I would have gone through here, got whatever I needed to do done, and moved on to a part of the city with more spark.
 
But this wasn't an ordinary time for it. The Miscreants were terrorizing the place, and that was dangerous. Apparently the villain team wasn't know for killing, but that didn't mean deaths might not result from their reactions. They were trying to scare the living hell out of people, and it was working! When crowds panic, it's not unlike stampeding cattle. I know that's an insulting comparison, but what I'm trying to say is that if a mob gets running in enough numbers in one direction: Heaven help anyone in their way. Old men can get knocked down, little kids can be trampled.
 
It was like a Sale on Thanksgiving only without the promise of low low prices that made it seem okay to crush or be crushed by your fellow citizens.
Cause in point, the hovercar had stopped over the southern side of the district, and now less than twenty feet below one crowd of twelve people were in a full run. One middle aged man tripped, and  the four closest to him were about to stomp all over him.
 
I readied to leap down and get to him fast. It was only twenty feet, I can handle a twenty foot drop without a bruise in my sleep, but Arctic Fox was faster, and apparently saw me tense, "I got this," She assured spreading her fingers and a there was a surge of cold from her I could feel even behind her. Suddenly every single one of those dozen people were covered in snow. No doubt they were feeling the chill, but they weren't harmed, and the soft yet abrupt imobolization stopped that particular part of the human stampede cold.
 
Yeah, I regreted that phrasing as soon as it entered my head. 
Something small, no, make that someone,  jumped on my shoulder, and I heard Pinprick call out, "Keep  the engine running Mabel, "With an aside to me, "Take us down, Fish Guy."
 
And I did. I do not fly. I swim incredibly fast, I've got a pretty good walking time, and I run a little faster than your average fellow. I also leap. It's not just my arm muscles that are super strong after all. It's basically a standing jump, no room for a build up, I just jumped from the car to close the distance between myself and the nearest Miscreant.  I belive the record in sporting events for a non running jump is a little over twelve feet. 
 
I went forward thirty, and then plummeted down twenty more. My feet smashed into the pavement and I didn't even feel a jolt. What can I say? I'm tough.
It's to Pinprick's credit that he took it all in stride. I guess when you have team mates who can fly, going along for a leap like we just did isn't that impressive after all, or at least it isn't startling.  He just jumped off my shoulder to  join the fray elsewhere. The Miscreant I had landed near though was surprised.
 
And that was gratifying. The fellow before me had face make up with an exaggerated painted on tear under one eye. He was like a weird cross between a KISS fan, an Emo in cos play, an escaped circus clown. No big red shoes or funny spot patterns on the clothes mind. His costume was part Victorian gentleman's suit and part punk rocker. It wasn't hard to guess his powers: he'd been scattering people by screaming at them.
 
And geez he was loud. Four people covered their ears and looked ready passed out as he kept shrieking at them in a  voice that screeched like the whine of a plane taking off while out of tune electric guitars played accompaniment. His victims weren't bleeding out of their ears... yet, but the look of sadistic pleasure on his face made wanting to punch him almost instinctive.
 
I didn't know well he could take a hit, so I restrained myself to the level of force that an Olympic boxer might manage. That's no small potatoes by the way, those guys wear mouth guards for a reason but I wasn't likely to break a jaw with it. 
 
I hadn't realized until the blow landed that the sound  waves he was putting out seemed to be shielding him all over even as they tormented those people. The Miscreant slammed to the ground, but it was as much from surprise as anything else.
 
His heavily made up eyes glanced up and his mouth turned into a grin, "Oh yeah! We got heroes! Sales of our action streams are going to go through the roof! No more holding back! YES!" Frankly, the fact he was on his ass and this happy about it felt wrong to me, and not to mention a little insulting, "Outcry T-shirts will be selling like hotcakes!"
 
His mouth opened and a piercing lance of sound hit me, shaking my insides. It stung, I admit it. The villain stood up smugly at first, but then his eyes narrowed in concern as he realized I wasn't even being pushed back, and the sound increased even as it lowered in tone, becoming more forceful. Outcry was trying to knock me away, to get some distance between him and the super strong guy. It good strategy in someways.
 
But against me? That honestly was a mistake. You see, I can stand in the middle of some pretty powerful waves and not move an inch. This? This wasn't budging me, and it actually hurt less than the higher pitches. I grabbed him by the jaw and yanked his head looking up, causing it to fire over me, and, more importantly, avoid the crowd.
 
Then I raised my free hand into a  fist and made sure he could see it out of the corner of his gaze, "On a scale of one to ten," I inquired, "One being tissue paper, and 10 being diamond hard, how tough would you say you are when that scream is going?"
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Today's effort....

 

Outcry didn't have an answer to my question, and truthfully, while I had a firm grip on him, I could see outside the corner of my eye another Miscreant, a woman with tattoos over a barely clad body, including a tattoo that served in place of a domino mask.  I understand that's not as rare as it used to be. Of course, what is rare is when those tattoos stretch from her body and attack things! Currently a tiger construct that had leaped from her flesh was menacing a crowd of three, while a tendril of black protruding from her skin cracked like a whip.

 

Yeah, no time to goof around with Outcry here. I brought my fist down with a blow that made  my earlier heavyweight punch look like a love tap. His eyes rolled in the back of his head right before they closed and I let him drop to the ground. I charged the tiger with my best tackle and, since it appeared to be some kind of freaky construct, didn't bother holding back. It shattered with a roar, and faded only to reappear, as its original tattoo I guess, on the woman's shoulder.

 

"Neat trick," I confessed, "You've got team mates down, on the floor hands behind your back!" Now it wasn't like I had a pair of handcuffs on me, but I had worked with the coast guard and it was the tone more than the methods I was copying here. I think some call it a  Voice of Authority. It does not work on everyone.

 

"Oh go @@@@ yourself," She said with a smirk. So, case in point, "Name's Body Suit. Who are you? Some sort of Fish Guy?" Her eyes went to my logo.

 

"Eel," I said, eyes narrowing. You know I may have to take some razing from team mates, but pass on the villain heckling, "Okay. I gave you a chance." 

 

Her response was a lightning quick lash of that ink tendril. It hit like a bullwhip, and I'm not going to lie, the speed and the loud CRACK sound took me off guard. Amateur mistake on my part, and I was embarrassed by it. Bullets flatten against me, so impressive as this was in display? It really didn't hurt me. I had weaved back after the fact anyway.

 

"Chicken of the sea," Body Suit snickered.

 

"If you don't mind," I said with some irritation, "I'll do the quips. I'm the hero," and I surged towards her to lay a punch on her, only to find a barrage of tattoos come to life swarming me, and shielding her. My blow went wide and she lashed again. This time  I didn't flinch, "You'll need more than that." I warned her.

 

Again I swung, and again I missed. She was agile, and that was...frustrating.

 

She wasn't completely on the defensive however, Body Suit's fingers slide to her belly where there was a tattoo of a coiled dragon. It's eye glowed, it's head lifted and then it breathed fire!

 

I did not scream. I wanted to, and almost did. I don't suppose it will come as a surprise to anyone that a guy whose body had adapted for aquatic enviroments might be a bit vulnerable to drying out. I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't have to dunk myself in a bathtub every 12 hours or I die  or anything, and I'm still far tougher than 90% of the folks on the planet when it comes to taking any kind of punishment, but going back to scales of one to ten? Whenever fire is involved, add two at least to how much I'm going to feel it.

 

But I didn't scream. I gasped in pain, grimaced visibly, and staggered, but I did not scream. Yay, machismo.  Macho pride aside, I was painfully aware I couldn't take too many more hits like that. And I hadn't laid a glove on her yet.

 

I raised my foot up to stomp hard, the shockwave would pop her into the air like a toy. I'd done it before and it was damn hard to dodge even for gymnastic types. Then I realized- I couldn't! Well, I could, but I'd toss and tumble some of the nearby innocents! My eyes fell on the three people she'd been terrorizing before. 

And Body Suit's gaze followed mine, "Oh wow, you're into that...hey hero, Catch!" 

 

The dragon head roared again, and once more flames belched out, not towards me, but the citizenry! I had heard the Miscreants weren't big on killing, but maybe they figured second and third degree burns didn't count? 

 

I don't create forcefields. I don't teleport crowds to safety. I did the only thing I could. I did another standing leap! This time, into the path of the flames! There were screams this time, the folks behind me yelling in panic, but none of them were touched- Thank the Lord.  As the flames scorched over my body, I crashed onto the ground with all the dignity of today's catch, if today's catch came pre-cooked. For a moment, I threatened to black out.

 

"Fish Fry!" Body Suit cackled. In a moment, I'd be up again. In a moment I'd get to try a clear shot at a shock wave move. It was a moment I didn't have. The Dragon head inhaled again.

 

"You poor thing," Another woman's voice spoke up cattily, "How bad was your original complexion that you had to bury it in those cheap tattoos like that?"  It was Arctic Fox, riding up above on an ice support that grew and moved to her will.

 

Below her was another Miscreant, some guy trapped and helpless up to his neck in a block of ice , teeth chattering. Body Suit's eyes didn't look at him, they glared at Fox, "Shut your mouth, whore."

 

Fox gave a disdainful shrug, "Hey, I'm not the one with a dollar sign over her flat ass."

 

Oh, I was forgotten and then some!  The stream of profanity from Body Suit at that  would have made sailors blush! One thing I knew,  now I had the time. The folks who were in danger had finally gotten clear. I brought both arms down on the street right behind Body Suit and sent a shockwave! 

 

I'm rather proud of myself. Twice burned and on my knees, and I still managed to pull it off. Body Suit was flung upward into the air, and landed onto the ground flat and helpless.

 

Fox clocked her hard with a cold blast, then looked down at me, "You okay?" As if showing concern for me cost her something.

 

"Never been rescued by a mean girl for justice before," I smiled getting up, "Thanks."

 

A smile escaped her at my comment, but she banished it with visible force of will, then she was off again.

 

The battle had started out seven against five in the Miscreants favor.  That, and the battle, was over. While I'd been dealing with Outcry and Body Suit, the other New Samaritans had each taken down at least one each. I could see a shrunken woman in a basetball sized force bubble that Lady Obsidian had created, bouncing against it like a bug in a jar.  The Matriarch of the team had done more than act as cage maker for Pinprick's oppoenent. Another Miscreant with powered armor had apparently tangled with her hoping his tech out matched hers. Clearly, it did not. The suit's power source was damaged, and he was now stuck like a turtle on it's back.

 

That was five, "Did any of them get away?"  I asked looking for the other two. 

 

"I think one may have, " Tornado said, dropping a cyborg with metal wings to the ground, "Robo-Raptor gave me more trouble than I thought and brought his team mate time to book it. "

 

"Robo-Raptor?" I winced , "Ouch."

 

Lady Obsidian said calmly, "Well, I won't lie. I was hoping for a clean sweep, but the important thing is no one was hurt and we've interrupted their little show. Their last member was a speedster, so she could be  anywhere by now."

 

"Or she could be right here," A new voice called out. The owner of the voice was an impressively built guy with a big V on his chest wearing red with gold highlights. He was flying, and frankly, I think it would have looked better with a cape. If I could fly? I would totally rock the cape. In his arms was an unconscious woman in a costume that looked like a cross between a punk rocker and a roller derby queen.  He set her down before Lady Obsidian, "Back Block was quick, but she wasn't expecting me so I took advantage of the element of surprise." He sounded almost apologetic about it.

 

"Thank you, Valorous," Lady Obsidian said, "This ties things up rather nicely."

 

"Val!" And suddenly there was Arctic Fox in Valorous' now available arms, laying one hell of a kiss on him, "You got her, thank you so much. I'm so glad to see you." She kissed him again.

 

"Not as glad as I am to see you," He gushed at her.

 

"Gonna puke now," Pinprick gave a whisper everyone could hear.

 

"Be nice," Lady Obsidian's voice came on the communicator, directed at the little archer in a way the non-member wouldn't hear.  However, her own tone was guarded.

 

The flying strong man and the snow queen gazed into each other's eyes as if we weren't there at all for a moment, then finally, Valorous looked about again, "Looks like catching Back Block by surprise was about the only thing left for me to do. Nice work here."

 

"De Nada," Tornado said with a smile and shrug, "These punks were more concerned with looking good for their show than team work."

 

"And who is this?" His eyes fell on me. I couldn't read him well but I could tell he was making a survey on my build, height, logo? Was this some sort of 'size up the other strong guy an wonder if you could take him?' thing, or was it as analytical as it seemed? 

 

"We got ourselves a Fish Guy," Pinprick said, "This is Eel. Newest member."

 

Arctic Fox shot Pinprick a glare of death at that bit. Clearly she had not given up her hopes of having her boyfriend take the spot instead.

 

"Ah," Valorous disentangled himself from his girl long enough to approach me and offer his hand, "Nice to meet you, Eel." I shook it, half way expecting some sort of macho bone crushing contest. Instead, it was firm, but no more.

 

"Nice to meet you, Valorous," I told him.

 

"You appear to be a bit burned, need medical attention?" He asked, actually sounding worried. Huh, maybe I was being unfair to the man just because I felt my position on the team threatened. That wasn't fair of me and I decided to give him a chance.

 

"Nothing a quick dip won't fix," I assured him. And it was true. I actually regenerate in water. Injuries that would linger for days fade in minutes if I'm submerged, "But thanks for the concern."

 

With this jabber going on, it might seem like we neglected the villain round up. Actually, Project Tank was on the job.  If your city doesn't have an outpost nearby it can take a dangerously long time for them to get to you, but this town as a regular stop over for them thanks to all the hero activity. Project Tank does transport of super powered felons to containment facilities specifically build to deal with their powers. It cost taxpayers a bundle, but not nearly as much as they'd end up paying if they couldn't hold their super-villains. The term "Throw them in the Tank" had taken on whole new meanings in the twenty years since they got up and running.

 

There was talk of a private industry to handle the job 'for cheaper', but that withered on the vine when the millionaire who had been lobbying for the right to do so along with every backer he had was found dead, each with a one hundred dollar bill shoved in their mouths. On each Benjamin was written "It's not as profitable as you think."

 

No one know what villain did it, or why they were okay with the fed doing it but not the private sector. All folks knew was suddenly no corporation wanted to touch the job of privatizing holding super-powered types.

 

Crazy world.

 

Men in gray uniforms were slapping power suppression cuffs and injecting medically approved knock out drugs into the Miscreants. No chances were taken. I winced a bit at the sight of titanium needles going into their bodies, but I suppose I couldn't blame them.

 

Crazy world.

 

"Regeneration," Valorous was saying, "Handy. That's one up on me. So are you from..."

"I'm not Atlantean," I said, perhaps a bit quickly.

 

"Oh," He said, making no more of it, perhaps because he turned to see that Project Tank was not alone on the scene. Reporters had begun to swarm in. In an age where everyone's phone was a high quality camera, they were no doubt desperate to play catch up.

 

I looked to Lady Obsidian for the signal to get the heck out of here, but she was filling the Project Tank guys in on the Miscreants' abilities and the like. Tornado was happily chatting with a female reporter and ... Pinprick, had vanished. 

 

I decided to follow his example, only to notice Valorous waving some reporters over. I wasn't prepared for this. Relief washed through me as it seemed they were focusing on him.

 

"Valorous, can you tell us about the situation?" "Do you think the Miscreants will have copy cat villain teams inspired by their social media fame seeking?" "Are you finally joining the New Samaritans?" came a barrage of questions at him.

 

"I only helped at the end," He said holding out a hand, "And I hope anyone considering emulating the Miscreants will realize where they're all ending up for their criminal behavior and that that will discourage them. Our youth need real role-models like Lady Obsidian and the New Samaritans, and lastly... because I'm being called away to aid another, no. I'm not a member though I'd be honored. Instead, they have chosen this fine hero: Fish Guy." He slapped me on the back like we were best friends, "And I know he'll learn much under their tutelage." 

 

"My name's Eel..." I started to blurt but cameras went off in my face and notes were being taken.. I shot one more glance up at the departing independent hero. He had just given the wrong name to the Press.  To add on top of that, his choice of words made me sound more like a sidekick than an equal member.

 

And I saw the briefest of smirks cross his features before that noble veneer returned, I came to one very strong conclusion.

 

The bastard had done it to me on purpose!
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That was fun.  Not overdone, you didn't try to show all the action (which probably would have been info overload), but kept things moving nicely.  I liked the show of teamwork (directly with Arctic Fox, and indirectly with Pinprick and Lady Obsidian). 

 

I wonder if someone *cough*Arctic Fox*cough* gave Valorous a call to get him there.  Very convenient timing.  If Pinprick hadn't mentioned "Fish Guy" I'd have been positive, but I suppose V could have heard about it and rushed out.

 

Keep 'em coming.

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That was fun.  Not overdone, you didn't try to show all the action (which probably would have been info overload), but kept things moving nicely.  I liked the show of teamwork (directly with Arctic Fox, and indirectly with Pinprick and Lady Obsidian). 

 

I wonder if someone *cough*Arctic Fox*cough* gave Valorous a call to get him there.  Very convenient timing.  If Pinprick hadn't mentioned "Fish Guy" I'd have been positive, but I suppose V could have heard about it and rushed out.

 

Keep 'em coming.

 

Thank you. A big part in the choice was the fact I'm using First Person POV. While I know some writers can pull it off well, I'm a bit more hesitant to show more than he would see. If it wasn't in his immediate focus, the other scenes would have been brief sideview snapshots at best. 

 

I love the idea of the Miscreants, a team of social media savvy villains attempting to cash in on their infamy. I could really see that happening.

 

Not an entirely new concept to be honest. Heck, some heroes (*Cough* Booster Gold *Cough*) were very aware of merchandising material so supervillains would naturally be even more ruthless about it. The sad thing? It'll probably work if they have the set up. They'll make money even in jail. It will certainly fund their lawyer.

More on that soonish.

 

Though as the last Kaiser once said, "Morality is all right, but what about dividends?" The root of all evil comes in sometime.

 

Ayup.

 

Anyway, thank you guys for the input and glad you are enjoying.

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I love the idea of the Miscreants, a team of social media savvy villains attempting to cash in on their infamy. I could really see that happening.

  

Not an entirely new concept to be honest. Heck, some heroes (*Cough* Booster Gold *Cough*) were very aware of merchandising material so supervillains would naturally be even more ruthless about it. The sad thing? It'll probably work if they have the set up. They'll make money even in jail. It will certainly fund their lawyer.

That kind of thing can be turned against you, though. I think they are just horribly vulnerable to being re-dubbed the Not Ready For Prime Crime Players. I mean, the Florida Supervillain Pratfall Meme Thread is their real downfall.

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Today's bit addition continues... in a way I didn't quite expect at first. Let's hope it works.

 

It turned out the Mall, strike that, the base had a pool. A pretty big one! I don't know which of the big stores had been gutted to make it. I don't know what sort of comment that makes on superhero priorities when we're given a chance to spoil ourselves. All I know is I was grateful. I was way too pissed to just lay in a tub undoing the burns I'd gotten from Body Suit's attacks. Communicator or not, I didn't want to stray too far from the base either at this early stage so I didn't need to hit the ocean. Otherwise, I might just keep going.

 

In our world, it's easy to for the literal and the metaphorical to blur. If someone says I hit the water like a torpedo, well, you know they might be right on the money with that. The Sailfish can swim at roughly 68 miles per hour. Can I beat that? Oh yes. I double it, with effort, though I cant keep that speed up forever.. 200 meters swims in 10 seconds or less? Done and without a sweat.

 

Moving through the water, if you're doing it right, is about smooth movement. Less disruption equals less resistance equals more zip! So for me, the phrase "Don't make waves" is good advice both metaphorically, and yep, literally. 

 

That said, i was busting the water hard! I had the pool to myself, and I didn't just pick up speed, I was slamming when I reversed to send waves of water up and out of the pool! Like I said, I was in a bad mood.

 

I got all about of fifteen seconds to repeatedly say my handle was Eel to those reporters before they moved on for other parts of the story, and it wasn't hard to guess what they'd do with that footage. They'd cut it, slice it, and ignore it. Because my preferences weren't a story, but 'Fish Guy' would be hilarious and be sure to get all the hits they'd ever want. So, Arctic Fox wanted me gone. Valorous had played me after convincing me he was a great guy. And the new media, social media, would have a field day. My burns had healed but my ego was bruised.

 

I let another fifteen foot wave crest over the edge.

 

"What the..." I lost track of exactly what expletives followed after that. There was a lot of sputtering mixed in. I didn't realize someone had come in. 

 

I leaped up easily out of the pool and onto the ledge to see who had joined me, and make sure they were okay. 

 

"Hey, Genius," Pinprick's gripe answered the question, "You want to keep some of the water in the pool?"

 

The action figure sized archer was knocked on his ass and soaked from tiny head to really tiny toes. He was a six inch tall man sitting in two inches of water, and yeah, I felt a little petty.

 

"Serves you right," I muttered.

 

"You got a beef with me, Eel?" He rose up.

 

"Oh, now it's Eel," I snorted, "You started the Fish Guy gag. And now its all over the news."

 

He nodded, "I see what you're saying," he glanced up at me after seeming to mull it over, "And it's bullcrap."

 

I scowled but he went on.

 

"I didn't tell a reporter jack about you, that was Valorous and you know it. And you know damn well your power set invites certain slang. Tell me that was the first time you've been called Fish Guy. Tell me I ever called you that in front of someone that wasn't in the business?"

 

"Fine, sorry I lost my temper. I just... " I shook my head. He was right, "It's just, going to be all over the news."

 

"Most likely," He answered flatly.

 

"I'm going to be a joke on the internet," I realized I was whining, "some 'ha ha funny' meme."

 

"On parts of it, yeah," He nodded, "Probably do one of those little auto tune mash ups and make a musical out of it. You know, some of those clowns are really inventive."

 

"That's for the sympathy, asshat," My dander was rising up again.

 

"Let's get it over with," Pinprick sighed, and shot me.

 

Yeah, shot me. In one smooth motion he drew an arrow and fired. I would have thought the bow string would be too wet to use, but I guess magic bows don't work like that. There was a stabbing sensation and then the world engulfed me.  One moment I was on the edge of the pool, the next I might as well been near a chasm overlooking a lake. 

 

I strode up to him, "What the hell, man? What, are we really having the superhero fight thing? Because that's the most juvenile idea you could possibly have. I'm angry, but I'm not socially dysfunctional!"

 

To my surprise, he put the bow away, "Nah. I mean, if you want to, we can go a round or two. Won't lie, when I shrink folks, they usually diminish in strength and in other ways too. My option, and hey, you wouldn't be the first guy in tights to want to take a swing at a team mate so yeah. I hedged my bet."

 

I stared at him for a moment, "Then why? Is it funny for you? or..." 

 

"Look around," He gestured, "At everything."

 

And I did. If the pool looked huge before, now it was indeed a veritable lake. The chairs in the place were out of reach . The exit out of the room made me feel like a Dwarf out of the Lord of the Rings exploring his old homeland. 

 

"Geez, how do you even get anywhere at this size?" The sense of scale was really settling in.

 

"I got arrows of other types too, all magical, but multi-purpose," Pinprick told me, "Arrows that that send gossamer threads I can use like swinglines. Arrows that put people to sleep. I even have an arrow that can cause someone to be smitten ala cupid, but that's got a whole 'roofie' vibe to it and it makes me uncomfortable so  I only use it when I have to. Superhero archers are really pretty awesome," He shrugged, " Also I climb onto shoulders or the like and hitch rides."

 

"Look, if you want an apology for my snapping at you unfairly, you've got it," I said putting my hand behind my neck and trying to rub my tension out, "You're right. It was Valorous, but you were here and I guess I tried to take it out on you."

 

"I don't want your apology," Pinprick said, "I want you to think on what things are like at this height. How do you think folks will treat you?"

 

"I probably look pretty damn silly right now," I admitted.

 

"And how do you think most folks would respond to you at this size, not Eel, not Fish guy... just regular you out of costume and in your civvies but shrunk."

 

"I guess they'd freak out a little," I said, "I mean, it be like running into a leprechaun for real or something."

 

"And after they were done freaking out?" The little man pressed.

 

"I guess they'd point and laugh. Like I said, silly, and .." Something began to dawn on me, "You're saying as hard as I think I have it, you've got it worse," I frowned.

 

Pinprick sighed and put a hand on my shoulder, "No, dummy. this isn't the 'Everyone has someone else worse off than them' speech. This is the 'Why do you care what the petty hearted and narrow minded of the world think of you?' speech. Christ on a crutch, you piss me off a little, you know that?"

 

"I piss you off?" I said taken aback.

 

"Yeah, you do," He answered, "Do you really think so gawdamn little of us even after such a short time that you think we're going to kick you out because it might embarrass us that you got a crappy nick name? You know, if you want to trash me, I'm down with that because I really am a jerk sometimes. But you're getting close to talking trash about Lady O, and if you cross that line we really will have that superhero on superhero fight .Then she'll give me that lecture on how she can take care of her own damn self, and how I should know better. And I'll nod , quip a little, and do it again if need be. It's a system that works. But that's not the only reason you're pissing me off here."

 

"You really respect the hell out of her," I said, "Not that I'm surprised, she's a heck of a lady."

 

"You have no idea," Pinprick said, "You really think other teams were putting out fliers  for permanently shrunken super heroes with gag arrows? Do you really think most were willing to give me a chance? Lady O has more class in her belly button than most people have in their whole body, and she doesn't care that I look ridiculous. She doesn't care...much, that I cop an attitude. You know what she cares about?"

"True, Justice, and the African American way?" I tried to lighten the mood, this was getting kind of tense.

 

"Funny," He said in a tone that indicated otherwise, "She cares that I care. She cares that I use my gifts to save the asses of complete strangers, even ones that treat my condition like a punch-line. She cares, not only that I can get the job done, but that I actually want the job at all. Guy, we saw what you did today in your first fight. You took hits rather than unleashed your full power because it might have hurt innocents. Someone shot flames, which obviously do not agree with you, and you stood in the fire like the a crappy MMORPG player to make sure no one else got burned. You saved lives, beat the bad guys, and worked with us. And you think Lady O, I, and the rest of the team actually give two CRAPS about what folks call you?"

 

My mouth opened but words escaped me.

 

"You're a good kid, Fish Guy," He told me, "But you need to grow up," he snapped his fingers, and I did. Grow up that is. There was a sudden lurch and I was right sized again.

 

It took me a moment to re-orient, and when I did I saw him walking towards the door, "And if some reporters start calling after you by anything but Eel, ignore their asses. You're not a dog- you don't have to come when called the right name, let along the wrong one. They're reporters. They want interviews. They want your attention. They need you, you don't need them. Come on," He motioned, "Let's go watch the news...it'll be brutal, but you might find there might be things more important going on than you having a funny nickname."

 

And he turned the corner.

 

What just happened? I wondered. I mean, I knew what just happened, but still, what just happened? I shook my head. Whatever just happened, I think I needed to hear it, "Coming." 

 

And I followed. 

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