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JmOz

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Some background...

 

My wife has serious health issues.  I use to lean on my daughter.

 

Daughter got new guy...new guy did not like it

 

She moved out

 

THings got worse with wife's health

 

I begged for the help I needed (Her and her now husband to move in, so I was not facing it alone)

 

He stated they would not because "He needed to be able to walk around naked"...

 

She thought he had a wonderful POV

 

Lots of fighting

 

She has basically not spoken to me since her and his attitude put me in a psych ward...Fathers Day...

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I was so desperate for the help I needed that I let him say and do a lot of things like that...

 

I also had and still believe it was HER responsibility to say "That is not right, apologize to him"...that is what ALOT of the fighting has been about.  He has an attitude of "why should I"...It's been two years sense he said it...My depression has gotten a lot worse in that time (1 failed suicide attempts)...the comment was made a month and a half after the first suicide attempt, the second time I got to that point was when I checked myself into the Psych ward...It was after a big fight where I was begging her to do some things I feel are just basic human curtisies (Answer my calls, stand up to him, appreciate the pain I am in, be honest with me)

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Depression is partially a brain chemistry issue, so I recommend staying on the happy pills until the chemistry is normalized.  (I know I could use some happy pills some days.  Yesterday would have been one.)

 

How you are feeling is understandable given what is going on with your wife's health issues and your daughter's situation.  If you're a caregiver, that's extremely hard for anyone to deal with; I've witnessed that firsthand.  Most people also have a hard time discussing it, so by posting here you're ahead of the game.  Still, you'll need to get back into the routine of seeing a pro to talk through it. 

 

Your daughter's in a tough spot if she's caught between you and the naked asshole she married.  (Let him wander around your house naked and then post pictures on the internet.)  We're going to have to find someone else for you to lean on.  We're here, but we're kind of virtual.  Local health care centers, universities, and churches often have affordable options, we just have to find them.

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One of the tricky things is finding the right medication for your depression (which can be complicated if you have other problems like anxiety or being bipolar).  Zoloft made me nauseous and Welbutrin/Lexapro made me edgy and gave me trouble sleeping.  So it took me a while to get it treated safely.  Prozac ended up being my salvation.

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Most anti-depressants are about 30-40% effective--that is, they work for about 30-40% of depressives.  So there's a trial and error aspect to them.

Other things that help fight depression:

1. Keeping a proper, regular sleep schedule--don't oversleep!

2. Eating properly--taking multivitamins and avoiding too much sugar, caffeine and processed food

3. Regular exercise--even a 20 minute walk is helpful

4. Getting some sunlight

5. Socializing with friends and family--you may need to reach out beyond your immediate family for this--support groups for depression exist

6. Defeating negative self-talk--aka Cognitive Behavioral Therapy--can work wonders

 

Medication can work, but as I said, it's trial and error, and you have to be properly diagnosed and take them consistently

The one other option, beyond all this, is ECT(Electro Convulsive Therapy).  My brother works at an ECT facility--it's a treatment for extreme depression, and it does have side effects, but it's fairly effective when all else has been tried.  

 

Don't give up!

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Hey, I just wanted to join the group saying "we're here for you." I also suffer from depression; I don't recall all the medical terms, but I have both recurring depressive episodes and what they call "dysthymic disorder"; a constant low-grade depression. I know how much it both hurts and makes it hard to take care of yourself. Virtual hugs from me, too.

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9 hours ago, Zeropoint said:

Hey, I just wanted to join the group saying "we're here for you." I also suffer from depression; I don't recall all the medical terms, but I have both recurring depressive episodes and what they call "dysthymic disorder"; a constant low-grade depression. I know how much it both hurts and makes it hard to take care of yourself. Virtual hugs from me, too.

They changed the name to persistent depression disorder...that is what I have 

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