Cancer Posted November 8, 2019 Report Share Posted November 8, 2019 I discovered a new form of self-inflicted academic torture today. It transcends even meetings with administration types for repetitive boredom. We're going to be hiring a new assistant professor. I started in on getting very cursory impressions out of the 50-odd applicant packages that are my share of the first screening. Oh, and BTW, all seven of us have the same size share of these, and we're to meet next Thursday for initial discussion. I only got through about half of them in about an hour and a half before I started looking for the fork that I keep in my office for eating occasional leftovers for lunch, so I could use it to gouge out my eyeballs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 9, 2019 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2019 The First Law of Academic Writing: For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision. Old Man 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted November 9, 2019 Report Share Posted November 9, 2019 On 11/7/2019 at 5:57 PM, Cancer said: I discovered a new form of self-inflicted academic torture today. It transcends even meetings with administration types for repetitive boredom. We're going to be hiring a new assistant professor. I started in on getting very cursory impressions out of the 50-odd applicant packages that are my share of the first screening. Oh, and BTW, all seven of us have the same size share of these, and we're to meet next Thursday for initial discussion. I only got through about half of them in about an hour and a half before I started looking for the fork that I keep in my office for eating occasional leftovers for lunch, so I could use it to gouge out my eyeballs. How did they taste? Also, if you think reading resumes is bad, wait until the interviews. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 10, 2019 Report Share Posted November 10, 2019 So far the most interesting one is a guy who (I think) fled Turkey when Ergodan went after his enemies in July 2016. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 10, 2019 Report Share Posted November 10, 2019 19 hours ago, Pariah said: The First Law of Academic Writing: For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision. Ie first draft, and second draft. 😛 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 10, 2019 Report Share Posted November 10, 2019 12 hours ago, Old Man said: How did they taste? Also, if you think reading resumes is bad, wait until the interviews. ...and that is when the destruction began... ps: so how did the interviews go with Adam and Eve? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted November 10, 2019 Report Share Posted November 10, 2019 They were unbelievably stupid and naive. But the applicant pool was really limited, and I figured the job was pretty easy, so what could go wrong? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted November 10, 2019 Report Share Posted November 10, 2019 It's your own fault for growing that apple tree and then telling people not to touch it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted November 10, 2019 Report Share Posted November 10, 2019 That was my little brother. But still, how can you get fired from a job where all you have to do is hang out in a garden? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 11, 2019 Report Share Posted November 11, 2019 Hey, if you take their phones away, there's not a millennial in the world who could just hang out in a garden without f-----g it up royally in their own way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 11, 2019 Author Report Share Posted November 11, 2019 I'm giving my MS research project presentation to my committee tomorrow evening. Wish me luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted November 11, 2019 Report Share Posted November 11, 2019 "No time to discuss this with the committee." "I AM NOT A COMMITTEE!" Good luck! Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 11, 2019 Report Share Posted November 11, 2019 7 hours ago, Pariah said: I'm giving my MS research project presentation to my committee tomorrow evening. Wish me luck! "May random factors operate in your favor." Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 11, 2019 Report Share Posted November 11, 2019 Your attitude is confirmed when you name the spreadsheet that is your answer key "Lab3s--t". Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 12, 2019 Author Report Share Posted November 12, 2019 More than one of the assembled PhDs at my presentation last night told me it was one of the best they'd seen. Old Man, Logan D. Hurricanes and Bazza 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 12, 2019 Author Report Share Posted November 12, 2019 The other day in class I made a remark about having 12% of a plan. One of my students raised her hand, so I called on her. "I understood that reference." Clearly, she's one of the bright ones. Bazza and Starlord 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 12, 2019 Report Share Posted November 12, 2019 Is she in the 88% percentile? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted November 12, 2019 Report Share Posted November 12, 2019 Better than the 87th percentile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted November 12, 2019 Report Share Posted November 12, 2019 52 minutes ago, Pariah said: The other day in class I made a remark about having 12% of a plan. One of my students raised her hand, so I called on her. "I understood that reference." Clearly, she's one of the bright ones. "That's a fake laugh!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 12, 2019 Report Share Posted November 12, 2019 "I am Groot." <grazes on his arm> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 20, 2019 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2019 Gunship Parents: Like Helicopter Parents, but more militant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted December 2, 2019 Report Share Posted December 2, 2019 Lawnmower Boy and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 2, 2019 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2019 In my experience, grading labs is a bit like smashing your head against a concrete wall. It feels so good when you're done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted December 6, 2019 Report Share Posted December 6, 2019 ... though there's also the vague fear that someone may have seen you performing such an irrational and degrading act, and you'll appear in some America's Famously Humiliating Videos episode without your knowledge someday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted December 8, 2019 Report Share Posted December 8, 2019 I just checked my results from the SweSAT -- top grade, 153 points out of 160, so a cool 2.0. SAI! Ternaugh, Pariah, tkdguy and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.