Cancer 5,815 Report post Posted November 8 I discovered a new form of self-inflicted academic torture today. It transcends even meetings with administration types for repetitive boredom. We're going to be hiring a new assistant professor. I started in on getting very cursory impressions out of the 50-odd applicant packages that are my share of the first screening. Oh, and BTW, all seven of us have the same size share of these, and we're to meet next Thursday for initial discussion. I only got through about half of them in about an hour and a half before I started looking for the fork that I keep in my office for eating occasional leftovers for lunch, so I could use it to gouge out my eyeballs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 6,222 Report post Posted November 9 The First Law of Academic Writing: For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision. 1 Old Man reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Man 9,431 Report post Posted November 9 On 11/7/2019 at 5:57 PM, Cancer said: I discovered a new form of self-inflicted academic torture today. It transcends even meetings with administration types for repetitive boredom. We're going to be hiring a new assistant professor. I started in on getting very cursory impressions out of the 50-odd applicant packages that are my share of the first screening. Oh, and BTW, all seven of us have the same size share of these, and we're to meet next Thursday for initial discussion. I only got through about half of them in about an hour and a half before I started looking for the fork that I keep in my office for eating occasional leftovers for lunch, so I could use it to gouge out my eyeballs. How did they taste? Also, if you think reading resumes is bad, wait until the interviews. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cancer 5,815 Report post Posted November 10 So far the most interesting one is a guy who (I think) fled Turkey when Ergodan went after his enemies in July 2016. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bazza 3,787 Report post Posted November 10 19 hours ago, Pariah said: The First Law of Academic Writing: For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision. Ie first draft, and second draft. 😛 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bazza 3,787 Report post Posted November 10 12 hours ago, Old Man said: How did they taste? Also, if you think reading resumes is bad, wait until the interviews. ...and that is when the destruction began... ps: so how did the interviews go with Adam and Eve? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Man 9,431 Report post Posted November 10 They were unbelievably stupid and naive. But the applicant pool was really limited, and I figured the job was pretty easy, so what could go wrong? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Starlord 3,508 Report post Posted November 10 It's your own fault for growing that apple tree and then telling people not to touch it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Man 9,431 Report post Posted November 10 That was my little brother. But still, how can you get fired from a job where all you have to do is hang out in a garden? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cancer 5,815 Report post Posted November 11 Hey, if you take their phones away, there's not a millennial in the world who could just hang out in a garden without f-----g it up royally in their own way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 6,222 Report post Posted November 11 I'm giving my MS research project presentation to my committee tomorrow evening. Wish me luck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Starlord 3,508 Report post Posted November 11 "No time to discuss this with the committee." "I AM NOT A COMMITTEE!" Good luck! 1 Pariah reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cancer 5,815 Report post Posted November 11 7 hours ago, Pariah said: I'm giving my MS research project presentation to my committee tomorrow evening. Wish me luck! "May random factors operate in your favor." 1 Pariah reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cancer 5,815 Report post Posted November 11 Your attitude is confirmed when you name the spreadsheet that is your answer key "Lab3s--t". 1 Pariah reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 6,222 Report post Posted November 12 More than one of the assembled PhDs at my presentation last night told me it was one of the best they'd seen. 3 Bazza, Old Man and Logan.1179 reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 6,222 Report post Posted November 12 The other day in class I made a remark about having 12% of a plan. One of my students raised her hand, so I called on her. "I understood that reference." Clearly, she's one of the bright ones. 2 Starlord and Bazza reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bazza 3,787 Report post Posted November 12 Is she in the 88% percentile? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Man 9,431 Report post Posted November 12 Better than the 87th percentile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Starlord 3,508 Report post Posted November 12 52 minutes ago, Pariah said: The other day in class I made a remark about having 12% of a plan. One of my students raised her hand, so I called on her. "I understood that reference." Clearly, she's one of the bright ones. "That's a fake laugh!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cancer 5,815 Report post Posted November 12 "I am Groot." <grazes on his arm> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 6,222 Report post Posted November 20 Gunship Parents: Like Helicopter Parents, but more militant. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Logan.1179 5,114 Report post Posted December 2 2 Pariah and Lawnmower Boy reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 6,222 Report post Posted December 2 In my experience, grading labs is a bit like smashing your head against a concrete wall. It feels so good when you're done. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cancer 5,815 Report post Posted December 6 ... though there's also the vague fear that someone may have seen you performing such an irrational and degrading act, and you'll appear in some America's Famously Humiliating Videos episode without your knowledge someday. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
L. Marcus 2,134 Report post Posted Sunday at 09:21 PM I just checked my results from the SweSAT -- top grade, 153 points out of 160, so a cool 2.0. SAI! 5 tkdguy, Rails, Bazza and 2 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites