Ternaugh Posted May 17, 2018 Report Share Posted May 17, 2018 3 minutes ago, Pariah said: Is that a calculus joke? Let's not go off on that tangent, please. We could always integrate it into a different topic. Old Man 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 17, 2018 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2018 The calculus jokes are always so derivative. I'm afraid it'll be a slippery slope. Old Man 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted May 17, 2018 Report Share Posted May 17, 2018 I can spell 'BOOBIES' on an upside-down calculator. Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted May 17, 2018 Report Share Posted May 17, 2018 5318008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 17, 2018 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2018 Now, derive an equation that leads to that answer and I'll give you the points. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted May 17, 2018 Report Share Posted May 17, 2018 X - 1 = 5318008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted May 17, 2018 Report Share Posted May 17, 2018 5318007 + 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted May 17, 2018 Report Share Posted May 17, 2018 Aren't we clever! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted May 17, 2018 Report Share Posted May 17, 2018 TAKE THAT, CALCULUS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 17, 2018 Report Share Posted May 17, 2018 So now I'm trained on the Belmont Report. But I'm under no obligations! ... I am? How is that fair? I didn't sign up for this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 17, 2018 Report Share Posted May 17, 2018 One of the realities of academia is that every committee and administrative group panics when late May (a month before the end of the quarter-based academic year) hits, and a feeding frenzy develops on everyone's calendar looking for meeting times. Yeeeesh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 19, 2018 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2018 Another day, another school shooting. This time in Texas. 10 dead, including two teachers. There are days when I wonder if my death is the next one you will all be lamenting here on the boards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted May 19, 2018 Report Share Posted May 19, 2018 Our odds aren't that good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted May 19, 2018 Report Share Posted May 19, 2018 1 hour ago, Pariah said: Another day, another school shooting. This time in Texas. 10 dead, including two teachers. There are days when I wonder if my death is the next one you will all be lamenting here on the boards. There were two school shootings today. At this rate they'll get to you soon enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 21, 2018 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2018 In reviewing the scores for the take-home final exam, I see that you achieved a perfect score (50/50) in a single attempt. Canvas tells me that your attempt took less than 15 minutes. Considering that it took me longer than that when I took the test (and I wrote it!), I am left to conclude that you received assistance from someone on the test. This was specifically prohibited in the test instructions, where you were informed that doing so was punishable by a score of zero out of fifty. However, I am willing to acknowledge that it is at least theoretically possible that you achieved a perfect score in so short a period of time by doing your own work. So I'm willing to give you a chance to verify that this is the case. Please come to my classroom after school on Wednesday May 23rd at 2:15 p.m. You will be given the opportunity to retake the take-home final exam where I can watch you do it. You will be given 30 minutes to complete the test. This is more than twice as long as it took you to do it on your first attempt, so completing it in this amount of time shouldn't be a problem for you. If you can achieve a score of at least 40 on Wednesday, I will allow you to keep your score of 50 out of 50. If not, I will consider it proof that you cheated the first time, and you will get a zero as specified in the test instructions. This is the only time you will be allowed to retake the test. If you do not show up at this time, I will assume that you do not wish to dispute my conclusion, and will assign you a grade of zero as stated above. Please contact me if you require further explanation or clarification. Otherwise, I'll see you Wednesday after school. Regards, Mr. P Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted May 21, 2018 Report Share Posted May 21, 2018 36 minutes ago, Pariah said: In reviewing the scores for the take-home final exam, I see that you achieved a perfect score (50/50) in a single attempt. Canvas tells me that your attempt took less than 15 minutes. Who's Canvas and how does he know how long anyone took on a test? Lucius Alexander The palindromedary says Canvas is good at propelling sailboats but that doesn't seem relevant.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted May 21, 2018 Report Share Posted May 21, 2018 Yeesh...all good cheaters know that you're supposed to deliberately miss a couple to avoid suspicion. How disappointing for all good cheaters everywhere. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 21, 2018 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2018 If you're going to cheat, at least don't cheat stupidly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 21, 2018 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2018 1 hour ago, Lucius said: Who's Canvas and how does he know how long anyone took on a test? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Instructure#Canvas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 21, 2018 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2018 1 hour ago, Lucius said: The palindromedary says Canvas is good at propelling sailboats but that doesn't seem relevant.... It is relevant inasmuch as the students in question seem to be using sailboat fuel for brains. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 21, 2018 Report Share Posted May 21, 2018 True or False 1 True 2 False 3 This test is multiple choice. 4 Ok, you got me. I didn't study. Can I go now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 1. Kurt Gödel's incompleteness theorem indicates that there must exist some formally undecidable propositions, that is, there exist true statements that cannot be proven true, and false statements that cannot be proven false. Malaclypse the Younger in Principia Discordia wrote that all things are true, even false things, but he was not to blame for this. Does the latter necessarily follow from the former? Yes, provably No, provably Yes, but not provably No, but not provably The proposition is tautological. Can I go get a beer now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 15 hours ago, Logan.1179 said: True or False 1 True 2 False 3 This test is multiple choice. 4 Ok, you got me. I didn't study. Can I go now? 5. Please let this be a multiple choice quiz, so I have a chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 1 hour ago, Cancer said: 1. Kurt Gödel's incompleteness theorem indicates that there must exist some formally undecidable propositions, that is, there exist true statements that cannot be proven true, and false statements that cannot be proven false. Malaclypse the Younger in Principia Discordia wrote that all things are true, even false things, but he was not to blame for this. Does the latter necessarily follow from the former? Yes, provably No, provably Yes, but not provably No, but not provably The proposition is tautological. Can I go get a beer now? #6, because is the only choice I remotely understand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 Is it just me or does the author of the Principle Discordia sound like the villain in a JRR Tolkien novel? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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