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Funny Pics II: The Revenge

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I once saw a comedian who used to be a lawyer.  Or as he put it, "Well, I'm still a lawyer, I just used to have clients."


He talked about his first client, for a murder case.  He said:


"The prosecutor said, 'There's no evidence in your client's favor.  I'm not going to offer a plea deal.  I'm going to try him and get him the death penalty.'  So I had to go back to my client and say, 'There really is no evidence in your favor and the prosecutor won't make a deal.  He wants to give you the death penalty. (shrugs)  I think you should take it.'"

"So during the trial, I had to resort to arguments like, 'Mr. Eyewitness, you say you saw my client stab the deceased in the chest.  Did you actually see the knife pierce the skin?  No?  Well, then, you only saw my client stab him in the shirt.'  'Dr. Smith, you're the medical examiner in this case.  Let me ask you a hypothetical question.  If, despite my client stabbing the victim, his heart had continued beating, then would he still be alive today?  Yes?  Well, then, it wasn't my client's stabbing that killed the victim, but his heart's refusal...'"


"My closing argument was, 'It has been said that it is better to let a hundred guilty men go free than to convict one innocent person.  (pause)  My client is guilty.  Let him go.'"

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