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The Back-to-Basics Superdraft (April 2019)


Pariah

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Now enter I, Gilgamesh the king

Of mighty Uruk, high gated city.

Two thirds a God am I, let poets sing

Of how I know of neither fear nor pity.

 

 

 

Hi, I'm Enkidu.

Shamat taught me to haiku.

She taught me a lot.

 

Gilgamesh the king

Thinks he's so hot; my fate's to

Teach him pity, fear.

 

 

 

Pythia am I, oracle and seer.

I draw aside the very veil of time.

Apollo holds my sanctuary now

His priestess there dispenses idle rhyme.

I am Delphi's oracle, original and true

Take heed if i prophesy to you.

 


Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary thinks we've seen this team before....somewhere....

 

 

 

 

 

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Springtime is always a wonderful place.  New beginnings.  A freshness in the air.  A new start...

 

Unless you are from Suplex City.

 

Then, everything is different.

 

The smell is not fresh.  It is the stale smell of sweat and perspiration wafting through the land.  Each street corner covered in the puddles of blood from the crimson masks of residents of Suplex City busted open from the blows.  Hard way.

 

Suplex City is a place where you must always be on your toes or else you may have an attacker come from behind and toss you backwards onto your head and neck.  It happens more than you think in Suplex City.  It is vital to always have someone watching your back.  Someone you can trust.  Because your friends are just as likely to turn on you as are the strangers.  Only a true bad ass or the completely protected are able to reside and survive in Suplex City.  

 

That is why the PWF, the Psybolt Wrestling Federation, has scheduled their newest pay per view encounter in the boundaries of Suplex City.  And when you are promoting matches in a city such as this, they can't be just normal matches, now can they?  

 

Officials from the PWF began looking to schedule the rematch of the century.  The match which originally took place in 1982, was a boxing encounter between The Champion and The Thing. 

Image result for the thing vs. the champion Marvel Two in one

 

The idea of making this a catch-as-catch can classic was too much to pass up for both performers.

 

"What a glorious competition it shall be" -Tryco Slatterus

 

"When I'm done with you, even little old ladies'll be able ta push ya around" -Benjamin J. Grimm.

 

With the main event set, the officials turned to the undercard.  And what better match up could lead the undercard than the brash and cocky Thunderlips, who calls himself "The Ultimate Male" squaring off with the legendary Randy "The Ram" Robinson, out of retirement once again.  

 

postersuplexcity

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All right, you can't say I didn't give you a chance.

 

To go with Air (Storm), Earth (Terra), Fire (Starfire), and Water (Namorita), I draft a representative from the Æther, or as we would call it today, Space:

 

Miss Martian (M'gann M'orzz)

 

Miss_Martian.jpg

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13 minutes ago, Pariah said:

All right, you can't say I didn't give you a chance.

 

To go with Air (Storm), Earth (Terra), Fire (Starfire), and Water (Namorita), I draft a representative from the Æther, or as we would call it today, Space:

 

Miss Martian (M'gann M'orzz)

 

Miss_Martian.jpg

 

Æther-time. 

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Not in much mood for poetry today, but I'll give it a go.

 

 

   “Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting—

“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!

    Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!

    Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the bust above my door!

Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”

            Quoth the Hawkman “Gear for war!”

 

The warrior, Hawkman!

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"I am Heracles, Son of Thunders.

By wit and strength I work wonders.

No lengthy verse do need -

All know of my famous deeds."

 

How far behind am I now?

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary wonders where we're going with this.

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Let's round out the heroes since I have three picks saved up.

 

Hero #3: Red Tornado (Lois Lane) (Earth 2 series)

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Hero #4: White Witch (Wanda Zatara)

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Hero #5: Blue Beetle (Ted Kord)

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(Don't hurt me, Coolio)

 

As I walk through the crisis of the 'next big event'

I take a look at my fate and wonder if I'm the obligatory death?

Cuz the comics have been writing some characters so long, that

Only  C listers like me need to worry about being gone

I got shot in the head, and I didn't deserve it

Editorial get a clue? you know that's unheard of

Better watch who you're messing as you try to keep the fans guessing

or you and your lackeys might end up a flamewar squawk

You write **** and brag- my fans are gonna talk

And you know I'll be back when you're tired of the flack, fool!

I'm the BB a lot of fans want to see like

at least give me a decent legacy to see

oh I guess this kid Jaime will do all right

 

Been spending most my career

living in a C list paradise

The writers don't treat your continuity right

when you're in a C list Paradise

I guess these hacks have to provide for wives

so I'm stuck in this C list paradise!

 

 

 

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I need an announcer / commentator or my Sinister Six (Doctor Octopus, Electro, Kraven the Hunter, Mysterio, Sandman, and Vulture) vs Fantastic Flash (Flash, Nightcrawler, Spider-Man, Mister Fantastic, Invisible Woman) super-basketball game. 

 

Option: J Jonah Jameson (voiced by J.K. Simmons)

 

 

 

 

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The latest round of updates is now complete. Check here to see how things stand, and as always, let me know about any problems.

 

The last 'official' pick can be made about 5½ hours from now. Use the weekend and the first part of next week for makeup picks, fiction, poetry, etc.  I'll post a poll somewhere around the 22nd.

 

Oh, titles would be good, too.

 

Great work, people!

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29 minutes ago, Pariah said:

The latest round of updates is now complete. Check here to see how things stand, and as always, let me know about any problems.

 

The last 'official' pick can be made about 5½ hours from now. Use the weekend and the first part of next week for makeup picks, fiction, poetry, etc.  I'll post a poll somewhere around the 22nd.

 

Oh, titles would be good, too.

 

Great work, people!

'

Now that you've updated, I can start picking again much like a guy stomping over the floor you just mopped. Whew.

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