The "You're Not Doing Star Wars Right" Superdraft VOTE!

[Hermit]

Very sorry for the delay, this last week was on me, but RL has it's kicks so there ya go.

First, a big shout out to everyone who joined in! The demands I made were stupid, arbitrary, and entirely self serving... I would like to think I would make a good Studio Exec... yet you, our proverbial directors remade star wars a new hope with those challenges facing you and excelled!

 

Please pick your favorite three.

 

Our contestants are...

Ah, who am I kidding, I'm barely in the running this time around

The Planet What Got Blowed up: Nibiru

(The 5 Protagonists)

The Farmer: BlackHawk

The Old Coot: Prospero the wizard from Shakespeare's The Tempest.

The Scumball-ish Criminal:  Captain Nemo!

The Royal:  Amazing Man The Prince of Orphans

The Token Alien Sidekick: Ariel (Prospero's servant)

(The 'bad guys')

The Big Bad: Count Dracula

Two Stormtroopers with names (Pick together on same day): Rosencrantz and Guildenstern 

(Other stuff)

The Starship:  Nautilus (uplifted)

Option I:   Frankenstein's Creature

Option II:

Option III:

 

Grumpy Old Mentors (A Jedi's Tale)

The Planet What Got Blowed up: Anacreon from Asimov's Foundation series.

(The 5 Protagonists)

The Farmer: Westley (a.k.a. Farm Boy, Princess Bride)*

The Old Coot: Hub McCann (Secondhand Lions)*

The Scumball-ish Criminal: Captain Shakespeare (Stardust)

The Royal: Zeetha, Daughter of Chump

The Token Alien Sidekick: Pilot 

(The 'bad guys')

The Big Bad: Citizen Chauvelin (as played by Sir Ian McKellan)

Two Stormtroopers with names (Pick together on same day): Marv Murchins and Harry Lyme.(From Home Alone)

(Other stuff)

The Starship: Moya

Option I: Old Coot #2, Garth McCann*

Option II: : Garth also has a lightsaber and can use the Force.

Option III: Ruby Rhod!

 

I'm Making this Up as I Go Along

The Planet What Got Blowed up: Jupiter

(The 5 Protagonists)

The Farmer: William Munny (Unforgiven)

The Old Coot: Walt Kowalski (Gran Torino film)

The Scumball-ish Criminal:  Sam Gecko (From Dusk Till Dawn)

The Royal: Snow White *

The Token Alien Sidekick: The Predator (From the film franchise)

(The 'bad guys')

The Big Bad:  Serleena (MIB 2)

Two Stormtroopers with names (Pick together on same day): Laurel and Hardy

(Other stuff)

The Starship: The Sulaco

Option I:  The International Space Station

Option II: Stormtrooper Wilhelm and his scream

Option III:  A Dalek

 

The Magic Empire

The Planet What Got Blowed up: Treasure Planet

(The 5 Protagonists)

The Farmer: Fa Mulan (Mulan)

The Old Coot: The Old Coot: Merryweather (Sleeping Beauty) *

The Scumball-ish Criminal: Vincenzo "Vinny" Santorini (Atlantis: The Lost Empire)

The Royal: Kuzco (The Emperors New Groove)

The Token Alien Sidekick:  Maid Marian (Robin Hood) *

(The 'bad guys')

The Big Bad: Sith Lord Stitch (Lilo and Stitch) *

Two Stormtroopers with names (Pick together on same day): Horace and Jasper (101 Dalmatians)

(Other stuff)

The Starship:  Casey Junior (Upgraded) (Dumbo)

Option I: Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy: The Rat Trap (The Great Mouse Detective)

Option II: Token Themed Planet: Underwater Planet (The Little Mermaid)

Option III: Token Giant Monster: Monstro (Pinocchio)

 

PARSECS ARE A UNIT OF DISTANCE, DAMMIT

The Planet What Got Blowed up: Canopus II aka Arrakis aka Dune

(The 5 Protagonists)

The Farmer: Mary Ann Summers (From Gilligan's Island)

The Old Coot: Elka Ostrovsky ( Hot in Cleveland)*

The Scumball-ish Criminal:  Nikita  ( Peta Wilson version)

The Royal: Freddy Mercury (From the movie version)

The Token Alien Sidekick: Howard the Duck (the original comic version*

(The 'bad guys')

The Big Bad: Zorro

Two Stormtroopers with names (Pick together on same day) : Spoor and Dowser (Brazil)

(Other stuff)

The Starship:  flying saucer from Plan 9 from Outer Space

Option I:  Darth Trichinosis.  Empress Porkpietime...Miss Piggy

Option II: Bender

Option III:  Marvin the Paranoid Android

Prize bonus- Duck Butt Yellow Lightsaber for Howard!

 

Pending!

The Planet What Got Blowed up: Magrathea (From Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

(The 5 Protagonists)

The Farmer: Karl-Oskar Nilsson

The Old Coot:  Professor Hubert Farnsworth! *

The Scumball-ish Criminal: Jebediah Kerman!

The Royal: Iselle dy Chalion (Lois Mcmaster Bujold's The Curse Of Chalion)

The Token Alien Sidekick: Gordon "ALF" Shumway!*

(The 'bad guys')

The Big Bad: The Big Lebowski!

Two Stormtroopers with names (Pick together on same day): 'Hans and Other Hans' (from the 'Are we the baddies?' skit)

(Other stuff)

The Starship:  The Bistromath

Option I:  Robocop

Option II: ED-209 prototype!

Option III: Robo cop gets a gold paint job

Prize Bonus- William Shatner's Toupee!

 

 

Providence: Extended Universe

The Planet What Got Blowed up: Tatooine 

(The 5 Protagonists)

The Farmer: Clark Kent

The Old Coot: Jean Luc Picard

The Scumball-ish Criminal:  Malcolm Reynolds (Firefly)

The Royal: Crystal (Crystalia Amaquelin) the Inhuman 
The Token Alien Sidekick: Lockjaw 

(The 'bad guys')

The Big Bad: David Xanatos (Gargoyles)

Two Stormtroopers with names (Pick together on same day) :Witch-king of Angmar & Khamûl (Nazgul, Lord of the Rings)

(Other stuff)

The Starship: The Tardis 

Option I:  [worldbuilding] Electromagnetic Emotional Spectrum / Lantern Corps with Power Rings.

Option II: Battleworld (marvel) Rebel Base

Option III: The Expanded Star Wars Universe

 

Star Wars: A New Hopeless

The Planet What Got Blowed up: Vulcan (from Star Trek)

(The 5 Protagonists)

The Farmer: Maggie Rhee (The Walking Dead) *

The Old Coot: Old Coot:  Old man Logan* (With Lightsaber claws on one hand, 'regular' adamantium the other)

The Scumball-ish Criminal:   Inigo Montoya (Princess Bride)

The Royal: Prince Akeem Joffer  (Coming to America)

The Token Alien Sidekick: Marvin the Martian

(The 'bad guys')

The Big Bad: Hans Gruber (Die Hard) *

Two Stormtroopers with names (Pick together on same day): Amos and Theodore (The Apple Dumpling Gang)

(Other stuff)

The Starship: RLS Legacy (Treasure Planet)

Option I:  Giving piloting skills to Inigo Montoya

Option II: The Emperor-  Q (Star Trek: The Next Generation)

Option III: Option:  Ava (Ex Machina)

Prize Bonus: Flame Decals for RLS Legacy  (Decal from the episode "Route of all Evil" Futurama)

 

Star Wars Episode LXIV: Rise of the Amazon Pirate Princesses of Venus!

The Planet What Got Blowed up: Ariel (From Firefly)

(The 5 Protagonists)

The Farmer: Princess Buttercup

The Old Coot: Olenna Tyrell, Queen of Thorns (Game of Thrones) *

The Scumball-ish Criminal: Valeria, Queen of Thieves (Conan the Barbarian)

The Royal: Dejah Thoris (A Princess of Mars)

The Token Alien Sidekick:  Neytiri, Princess of the Omaticaya Clan (Avatar)

(The 'bad guys')

The Big Bad: Ardala, Princess of Draconia (Buck Rogers)

Two Stormtroopers with names (Pick together on same day):Lursa and B'etor, The Duras Sisters!  (STTNG)

(Other stuff)

The Starship: HMS Bounty (Star Trek IV)

Option I: Dolores Abernathy (Westworld

Option II: Venus (Pulp Sci-Fi Version)

Option III: The Genesis Device

Bonus Prize: A gallon of Green Body Paint!

 

 

Steal the Skylark

The Planet What Got Blowed up: Coruscant

(The 5 Protagonists)

The Farmer: Link (from Zelda)

The Old Coot:  Max Tennyson 

The Scumball-ish Criminal:  Lupin the 3rd

The Royal: Wonder Woman

The Token Alien Sidekick: Mr. Spock

(The 'bad guys')

The Big Bad: Thanos

Two Stormtroopers with names (Pick together on same day): Iron Major and Hans Von Hammer

(Other stuff)

The Starship:  Skylark

Option I: Space Ghost

Option II: Rocket Raccoon

Option III: Mace Windu *

 

 

 

[L. Marcus]

Mohahahaw! Mine is the first vote!

[death tribble]

Vote for me or I'll sleep with you.

[Hermit]

YES, one person has voted...onwardly to victory kinda sorta!

[Pariah]

I'll admit it...I voted for Cancer based solely on the title.

[L. Marcus]

I appreciate a modicum of scientific accuracy in my science fantasy.

[Hermit]

18 minutes ago, Pariah said:

I'll admit it...I voted for Cancer based solely on the title.

 

Well, darn it, it needed saying

[Cancer]

48 minutes ago, Pariah said:

I'll admit it...I voted for Cancer based solely on the title.

 

Hey, prospective authors are told to go with a catchy, emotion-loaded phrase for a title.  That one is chock full of righteous outrage.

 

Voted, also, and I never vote for myself in these things.  And neither do any of my sockpuppets.

[Hermit]

45 minutes ago, Cancer said:

 

Hey, prospective authors are told to go with a catchy, emotion-loaded phrase for a title.  That one is chock full of righteous outrage.

 

Voted, also, and I never vote for myself in these things.  And neither do any of my sockpuppets.

 

Your sock puppets are more ethical than mine. *Admires*

[Cancer]

Well, to be more clear, my sockpuppets don't vote for *themselves* ...

[L. Marcus]

I know I don't!

 

And neither do I!

[death tribble]

No-one is voting for me.

So I get to sleep with everyone !

I win even if I lose !

[Hermit]

Looks like someone bit the bullet by agreeing/voting to sleep with DT

 

In fact, everyone has at least one vote

[Hermit]

Darn. I fear my long delay in putting this up hurt enthusiasm. 8 votes, 10 contestants. Something wrong about that darn it

[Pariah]

Tied for fourth! Woo-hoo!

[Cancer]

Summon the sockpuppets!

[L. Marcus]

Where are the clones? SEND IN THE CLONES!!

[Hermit]

Thanks to whoever got out those three alternate accounts

[Hermit]

This poll will close Tomorrow! 

 

 

[Old Man]

But I'm not winning yet!

 

Seriously this was yet another brilliant draft everyone.

[Hermit]

It really was. I threw some rather silly roles to be filled, deliberately got the wrong parts of the genre, and you guys rolled with it with some great stuff

 

 

[Pariah]

Yes, yes, quite diverting. Thank you for hosting this, Hermit.

[Lucius]

I thought I picked Rosencrantz and Guildenstern for my troopers?
 

Lucius Alexander

 

My palindromedary ate my tagline!

[archer]

On 8/28/2019 at 10:35 AM, Hermit said:

Darn. I fear my long delay in putting this up hurt enthusiasm. 8 votes, 10 contestants. Something wrong about that darn it

 

I fell behind reading the commentary in the original thread and didn't want to vote until I caught up there.

 

After all, some people provide the reasoning behind their picks rather than making this up as they go along. 😁

[death tribble]

On 8/27/2019 at 6:11 PM, Hermit said:

Looks like someone bit the bullet by agreeing/voting to sleep with DT

 

In fact, everyone has at least one vote

It is those who did not vote for me that are in for the treat of spending the night avec moi.