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SUPERDRAFT: Cast your Fantasy KINGDOM!


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(This is color text accompanying my previous pick.)




The Wizard Omar Haram -- played by Vincent Price -- is one of Prince Slick's most important counsellors, aged, experienced, and one who would also prefer not to be put to the sword, which Trp the Twrp is overwhelmingly likely to do if Trp offs the House of Slime.  So using arcane powers he has studied their adversary, determined that while those people haven't been thinking up front about a marriage of alliance, when they see what the marriage might be to there'll be some jaw-dropping and comments along the lines of "Yeah, I'll hit that."  There are some complicated issues involved, but Omar has spells in his grimoire that no one suspects yet.

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Our next pick is our Monster.




Zarko the Dhampir is just what it says on the can ... a dhampir, the offspring of a vampire and a mortal.  Maybe it'd be better to say "THE dhampir" rather than "a dhampir", because in the 4th Century, Saint Heliodorus cast out ("melted" in the hagiography) all the vampires and vampire-spawn in Dalmatia, and forbade their return.  But one vampire-human union was still in the womb at that time, and avoided the destruction caused by the saint, and one's first arrival on earth can't be construed as a "return".  Thus Zarko the Accursed was born in a mountain village, and has stalked women in Dalmatia ever since.  Unable to assume human form due to the saint's intercession, Zarko shifts among bestial forms as he goes through the night, looking for women to kill, since the saint also made it impossible for the dhampir to mate with them.  Zarko is a CGI construct of shifting but universally loathsome appearance in our movie, but he is voice-acted by the great Boris Karloff.

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I am down two picks I think. I am going to go with Lucy Lawless as my consort. 


A land in turmoil cried out for a hero.
She was  a mighty princess forged in the heat of battle.
The power.
The passion.
The danger.
Her courage will change the world."


And Mark Williams as the Priest

He is not your average priest


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4 hours ago, Bazza said:

The villain. 


In a dramatic role, with her natural curly hair...Marilyn Monroe as Morgana / Morgan le Fey






Commissioner, if it is not to much trouble can I move Marilyn to High Priestess. I have another in mind for Villain. 

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1 hour ago, assault said:

Villain: Bela Lugosi.


A shift away from my previously British casting. In retrospect, Bazza sniped me by casting Cristopher Lee, but I hadn't considered Lee at that time.


On the other hand, if you are going to cast an actor that played Dracula, you might as well cast one of the best.


 Another near miss for me.  Happily, I went another direction.

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Villain: Our film's heavy is not Trp the Twrp, but rather his ambassador, into which role is cast Charles Middleton.  That ambassador, Božo Babić (we'll call him Evil Bozo), is not a Christian at all, so appeals to "Christian charity" and other alleged Christian virtues simply make him smile ironically.  

(Never heard of him?  Charles Middleton is the guy who played Ming the Merciless in the 1930s and 40s Flash Gordon serials, and that's the persona we are tapping in our movie.)  

Trp the Twrp is not near Splato at the time the movie starts; he's up north, nailing down his position there.  He has sent a trusted ambassador (and sorceror in his own right) Evil Bozo to try bullying Slick von Slime into something, mostly into being scared stupid and easy to kill.  That ambassador persists fanatically in putting threat of violence to Slick and his household (especially his household) ... chiefly because he's impervious to Plan A of the House of von Slime.  You see, unlike Ming in "real life", this Evil Bozo doesn't like girls.  In our film, he thinks of Slick's daughters as simpering, worthless little parasites, and wants them to have nothing to do with Trp the Twrp.  And worst ... Evil Bozo very plausibly claims to be able to summon and command the film's Monster, Zarko the Dhampir (and he demonstrates this power on-screen at a couple of points), which could completely undo all the hopes of the House of Slime and its adherents.

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