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  1. Funny pics might not be the best place for this, but I'm not sure where else it would fit.
    9 points
  2. There are some uncited assertion in there. Where did female cast members "bash males"? The Brie Larson quote cited in the article listed upthread had nothing to do with the MCU, and was nothing close to male bashing, and it's the only thing presented so far. As Ternaugh pointed out, Captain Marvel was a blockbuster, by any reasonable definition. As to why Black Widow is doing so relatively poorly, that's really complicated. I sincerely doubt it has anything at all to do with anything Johansson has said in interviews. The movie is about a character that is already dead in the continuity of the series. It was released simultaneously to streaming and theaters, and it was released a year late due to the pandemic. All those are almost certainly bigger factors than folks caring about whatever Johansson said. Regarding Dr. Strange being cut from shows, do you have an example beyond WandaVision? Otherwise, that's one show, and I've got to say, making the decision to not have the powerful man come in and save the day at the end of that series was a solid one. Having any character show up and Deus Ex Machina the ending would have been bad, but having a man do it in a show that's otherwise been mostly centering women would have sucked. This whole panic over more diversity in the MCU makes me laugh. There was one female super hero for the entirety of phase one of the MCU, and she's the one who didn't get a solo movie (until just now), while there were four male-led solo movies. In phase two they added two more women. Wanda only became a hero at the very end of the last movie of phase 2, and Gamora was added as the one woman in a crew of five. There were once again four male-led solo movies, and zero female-led. Phase three gave us our first female-led movie, and five male-led movies. As the original lead actors retire, their characters are getting replaced. We got a black Captain America. We're going to get Iron Heart instead of Iron Man. We know we're getting a female Thor in Love and Thunder, and rumors say that Hemsworth's Thor may be going to die, but I haven't heard anything solid on the future of those two characters. A lot of fans want Shuri to be the new Black Panther, but, once again, Marvel seems to be playing their cards close to their chest, so who knows. This year we get Shang Chi, a new male lead, our first Asian lead in the MCU. Someone in one of these threads said that Dr. Strange is going to die in Multiverse of Madness, and that Hawkeye is going to die in his Disney+ series. I've seen nothing to back these up. But the thing is, if the MCU becomes no longer completely centered around white males for a while, it's not the end of the universe. White males have dominated lead roles in these movies so far (and in all of Hollywood, for that matter) for a long while, and it would take a long time of that no longer being true to reach even close to parity. It would be okay to let some other folks take the spotlight for a while.
    8 points
  3. That was a pretty standard Captain America speech. Cap has been a social justice warrior since way back.
    7 points
  4. Pariah

    Coronavirus

    The irony of anti-vaxxers who say they "don't want to be part of some experiment" is that they have made themselves part of the control group.
    6 points
  5. 6 points
  6. Unlike comic book characters who can remain the same age for decades, actors get older, they want to move on to other things, or they social-media their way out of a job. Clearing the decks of one set of characters to make room for the next generation of characters is an unfortunate necessity of live action cinema. Until we perfect digital actors who look 100% real, with no uncanny valley effect, and can be performance-captured and voiced by numerous actors over time, we won't have superhero characters that continue on for two, three, or more decades. The Iron Mans will have to give way to the Ironhearts, and one Captain America (or Black Panther) will be replaced by another, and then another, etc. All we can hope for is that Kevin Feige does a good job of this. I, for one, have no problem with Kate Bishop taking over for Hawkeye, to take just one example. As long as they do a good job with these new characters, I'm still all in on the MCU.
    6 points
  7. You would think that type of marketing would drive the box office down but both topped one billion USD despite the haters. The people who were looking to be offended were I guess but maybe making movies for women and black audiences is something that could catch on.
    5 points
  8. Ockham's Spoon

    Jokes

    People are finally starting to socialize more now that they're vaccinated, and nice as it is, I am already hearing people complain about $7 beers, $10 parking, and $20 cover charge. All I have to say is that if you don't like those prices, stop coming to my house.
    5 points
  9. This is, to put it politely, somewhat overwrought, and entirely inaccurate. Is the Falcon (now Captain America) nerdy or gay, submissive, or an idiot? No. Sure, the Winter Soldier is a reformed villain, but, then again, so was the Black Widow. Black Panther? None of those things. And if the actor hadn't died, he'd be back for another movie soon. The Vision died again recently, but we may well see him again. Spider-man is nerdy, I'll give you that but what's wrong with that? Dr. Strange doesn't fit this categories either, although he is a bit of a pompous ass. I won't include Hawkeye, since he's a serial killer (but other than that he's an okay guy), or Starlord, because I'd say he does tend to fall in the idiot bucket (and is also an arrogant, insecure jerk). I've seen Ant-Man criticized because Wasp is a better fighter than him, but there's a lot more to being a positive role model than being able to kick ass (which he still often manages). There are also a ton of supporting characters who are good role models. And, guess what, a gay character can be just as much of a positive male role model as a straight character, not that we see many of them in the MCU or other action movies (The Old Guard is a nice exception there). And Terry Crews is, this very year, playing a badass character on Brooklyn 99. A smart, accomplished bad ass. He just happens to also be a dad, and a caring person. It's a sitcom, so of course they give him an amusing tic (he tends to refer to himself in third person), but he looks like a pretty positive role model to me.
    5 points
  10. CM is a mythological movie but it is not a hero’s journey mythological movie. It is more a ‘amnesic goddess that falls to earth and later remembers she is in fact a goddess’ movie. Goddess is symbolic of the divine feminine archetype/symbol. That this goddess is an earth woman makes it even more impactful, as symbolically, it is that the divine feminine that has been reawakened on Earth.
    5 points
  11. Ockham's Spoon

    Jokes

    A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in Dublin when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up along-side them. "Show us yer titties!" one of the drunks shouts, with encouraging hoots from his friends. The Mother Superior is shocked, and says to Sister Mary sitting next to her "I don't think those hooligans know who we are! Show them your cross Sister Mary." So Sister Mary leans out the window and yells "Piss off, you fookin' little wankers before I come over there and rip yer balls off!" She turns back to the Mother Superior and asks "Did that sound cross enough?"
    4 points
  12. Ragitsu

    "Neat" Pictures

    Long ago, I had this picture on another computer, but I ended up losing it due to a misfortune. After much searching, I finally relocated this gem by remembering another piece drawn by the same artist and then locating their website via that second piece. Is there any sweeter feeling than rediscovering a work of art you saw once upon a time and whose name escapes you?
    4 points
  13. When Wolfman and Perez created Cyborg he was a walking dark cloud of brooding angst because he hadn't come to terms with what had happened to him.
    4 points
  14. Once again, this is the lifetime gross for Captain Marvel: $1,128,462,972 To put that into context, also released in 2019: Spider-Man: Far from Home: $1,131,927,996 Does that mean that Far from Home wasn't a blockbuster?
    4 points
  15. 4 points
  16. Scott Ruggels

    The Iron Man

    Ironman, Ironman Does what ever an Iron can Presses shirts, coats and ties Presses pants, any size Hey there Ther goes the Ironman
    4 points
  17. 4 points
  18. mattingly

    Jokes

    4 points
  19. The phrasing is somewhat awkward, but I believe the point dmjalund is trying to make, is that there was concern among the people producing Captain Marvel that if the story emphasized Carol Danvers being humbled, that would be interpreted by many in the audience as the patriarchal system once again "putting a woman in her place."
    4 points
  20. 3 points
  21. The Radio Times over here did a day by day guide to the Games. Karate is Thursday through Saturday
    3 points
  22. 3 points
  23. Since we can't rerun the universe a little differently, we'll never know who's right. I just find the idea that it's position in the release schedule added half a billion dollars to it's box-office take to be ridiculous on its face. Wow. That's utterly ridiculous. Marvel's marketing team guilted the world into making Black Panther the number four top grossing movie of all time? Seriously? I'd love to see examples of this '"you're a terrible person and bigot if you don't watch this movie" woke marketing.' Or is this like the horrible things Larson and Johansson said about men that we're just supposed to assume really happened, without evidence given? Further, I'd love to hear why, if that kind of marketing happened, and was so effective, Marvel didn't do the same with Black Widow. It seems like the idea that there was an audience that had been clamoring for movies like these and came out in droves to see them is just unfathomable to y'all. Black Panther was easily one of the best two movies in the MCU. Captain Marvel, not so much, but it was a solid superhero movie, and the first MCU movie with a female solo lead.
    3 points
  24. ...and this is what lead to difficulties in Season Two of the Mandalorian. Pedro Pascal, who I think is a pretty good actor, was tired of wearing the mask all the time, to the point he was losing enthusiasm for the role. Compromises were made. It's what makes me admire Karl Urban all the more in Dredd, as he committed to the bit, and never took the helmet off. (Really good portrayal of Dredd, too, by the way.) It is looking like The Batman, may be a disaster, but mostly because of antics and sabotage by it's star. Now I wish someone would explain that keeping the mask on "outside of "headquarters", means it's easier to conceal stunt performers, and therefore reducing the budget slightly as they don't need as much CG. CG Ain't cheap, as my price sheet displays
    3 points
  25. Where does Ant-Man and The Wasp fit into this theory? It also fell between Infinity War and Endgame, but made on modestly more than Ant-Man. My memory is more of a bunch of really positive reviews and a bunch of really negative reviews, with some in the middle. I can certainly seeCaptain Marvel's spot in the schedule boosting opening weekend somewhat, but I don't see that holding up long enough to get it to the levels it reached without a lot of fans really liking the movie. The idea that its position nearly doubled its take, but somehow only gave Ant-Man and The Wasp a modest boost, if any, strikes me as grasping at straws.
    3 points
  26. 3 points
  27. Ockham's Spoon

    Jokes

    My wife called from upstairs "Hey, do you ever get a shooting pain through your body, like somebody has a voodoo doll of you and is stabbing it?" I replied "Um, no..." She responded "Okay, how about now?"
    3 points
  28. They obviously messed everything up when they got rid of Nicholas Hammond. /s The problem with Batman in the movies is that they rebooted it with three different actors in less than a decade, so nobody really associates the character with any particular actor. And while that sort of works, since Batman's entire body is covered up and anyone could be under that suit (like Captain Universe, great concept), it does hurt film loyalty and makes it tough for there to be real fans of the character.
    3 points
  29. 3 points
  30. A 4th ed. version of Aratron, the Demon of Saturn, appears on p. 94 of Creatures of the Night: Horror Enemies. That version is 335 points, at a time when PCs supposedly began at 250; but the standard for supervillains was already well beyond that. Since each edition brought further point inflation, a 6th ed Aratron should probably be about 600 points for "an intermediate power demon lord who might be summoned as a powerful wizard's enforcer." This would still be well below the 950-point Greater Demon in the 5th ed HERO System Bestiary, and far below the Demon Princes in that book, but I have a different design theory and esthetic in these matters. As a point of unmitigated pedantry, the grimoire that describes Aratron et al, the Arbatel of Magic, calls them Olympian Spirits rather than demons, and claims to be a work of White Magic. In making them demons, I was guided by three principles: Arthur Edward Waite's observation that the methods and goals of supposed White Magic and Black Magic grimoires tend to be identical; that I didn't want to try explaining Olympian Spirits or creating a Champions Universe role or explanation for them; and that I could do something cool with a set of Planetary Demons, such as creating Astralle. The Seven are, shall we say, a creative misinterpretation of the source material. Since writing Creatures of the Night, though, I've learned more about Hermetic magical theory. A separate class of planetary spirits would actually work quite well. Fitting them into the of the CU mightky, though. The best home for them, since Dante's Divine Comedy portrayed a Heaven mapped onto the planetary spheres of Ptolemaic astronomy. Dean Shomshak
    3 points
  31. Actually the lamp from the movie had only one leg as that was the logo for the Nehi (pronounced “knee-high”) soda company. Occasionally on M*A*S*H you’ll hear Radar ask for a Grape Nehi soda. It was a very big company in the Midwestern U.S. And with his King Geek title once more assured, Tjack returned to the Fortress of Geekitude and waited to once again sally forth (since he was being a big Sally) and correct the internet for the enlightenment & entertainment of everyone (re: nobody)
    3 points
  32. I found Momoa's Aquaman an improvement on "talks to fish"..... Just saying.
    3 points
  33. You say fireball is not necessary, and I know that D&D has some very specific ideas about what a fireball spell is, but honestly, I tend to encounter a more apt form of what I would call a "fireball" spell generally featured in a *lot* of fantasy. That being the depiction of a mage who holds out a clenched fist or spreads out their fingers and suddenly those fists are wreathed in flame or their spread fingers are cupping a hovering ball of fire, then they either punch the air towards their target or vaguely flick their open hand towards their target, and the ball of fire is sent flying into the opponent. Rather than exploding and taking out a room grenade flamethrower style, these common fireballs tend to simply "punch" the target, along with a little bit of damage from the fire itself, but only enough fire to cause a problem for extremely flammable targets. Otherwise, the main point of the spells is just to produce a very hard punch at a long range. That seems like a fairly believable spell for all sorts of magic-users to learn and teach their apprentices as the most basic form of attack, even if only for self-defence. You're an academic who doesn't want to get into melee with your enemies, so you learn how casting an element at your enemies works, and of course everybody picks the element that is the most easy to learn how to cast. Basically just a Blast with Energy Damage and No Endurance Cost.
    3 points
  34. Time out. Disney is still the company that tried to dodge paying royalties on Star Wars properties by asserting that they bought the rights but not the liabilities, and thus the original royalty agreements were null. They settled with Foster eventually, because I think their legal arguments were on par with Giuliani's. They were trying to overturn very basic aspects of contract law that are simply complete non-starters. Whether this would be characteristic for Disney as it existed 20 years ago, I don't know...but it is absolutely characteristic of their style now. Whether this constitutes a breach of contract or simply is taking advantage of a loophole in it...that remains to be seen. The Variety article closes with the observation that contracts moving forward will have to include language pertaining to streaming, not simply box office. But for now, what this feels like is something you sometimes see in sports contracts. A player might have incentive clauses for reaching certain milestones...the team, especially when they're out of the playoffs, might deliberately sit him so he misses them. In baseball...a classic example was Kris Bryant with the Cubs. He was called up to the major league roster 1 day AFTER the cutoff for gaining a full year of service time. A player can become a free agent after 6 years...but if he's a day short of it at the end of year N, after year N+5 he's a day short of 6 years. And thus, can't become a free agent in that offseason. And you don't become a free agent during the season, so they effectively get a 7th year. (Player control is a huge issue right now; the trade deadline was this afternoon. It's even called "rental players.") So what I'm questioning is whether Disney is actually breaching...or simply taking advantage. That said, the whole "it's call Covid's fault" is soooooo much BS that I hope they lose.
    3 points
  35. Stuff goes in such cycles in American politics. We had HUAC and McCarthy running roughshod over civil liberties for years before McCarthy overreached and people started realizing he was in it more for himself than to fight a communist menace. I think we're in better shape now than we were on January 5th or January 7th. Or yesterday. If Trump goes through all his legal and financial problems unscathed and puts out the money/effort necessary to run a political campaign for the Republican nomination, I'll be more worried. We're not quite in the same boat as Argentina was with Peron and the Peronistas.
    3 points
  36. Clark lived there, Superman lives up north! Clark Kent wears Glasses!
    3 points
  37. Pathfinder : Hell's Bright Shadow - Great King Rat Terzo: Poor dogs. Civilla: They just tried to eat you! Terzo: They were starving! Civilla's player: At least they can’t say ‘I am!’ when you ask them if they’re a good girl. Terzo’s player: Yessss. Father of The Year, Shou Tucker was not. Ayva's player: Is it children and animals you’re not supposed to work with? Terzo’s player: And Tucker worked with both! Terzo: Some people might wonder why I didn’t make some comment when Rajira knifed that man earlier, but I’ve worked with a lot of opera divas in the last 40 years. The old killing floor has been abandoned for some time, but there are some unusual patterns in the dust. And the way the equipment inside animates to attack is pretty unusual too. The blood oozing from the walls is a bit stereotypical, though. Apparently Grimples are responsible. Terzo: Gribbles? No, they’re a kind of woodlouse that eats jetties. Civilla: Grimples? Terzo: That’s the monkeys, yes. Terzo’s player: What’s a Grimple? Civilla's player: A not very good punk band. Which arguably makes them a good punk band. Just not very good. Terzo’s player: Also something on Urban Dictionary but I’m afraid to look. GM: They’re basically one step above an angry magical possum. Unpleasant giggling comes from under the floor. Terzo: Ahem - before we go any further I’d like to point out we can just set the building on fire. Instead Civilla just Colour Sprays the hole, and knocks the vermin-encrusted fey unconscious. Too bad that 90s punk bands aren’t the only thing down there. Ayva: I thought I was joking when I said Dire Rats. Civilla OoC: Well, we’re going down in an urban environment. GM: You went down on a Grimple? Civilla's player: What?? EW! EWWWWW! The formerly hidden shaft and ladder might be a tight fit for Terzo. Civilla OoC: You are not Mister Five by Five. Civilla adds to the local population of Rodents of Unusual Size by Summoning one of her own. Terzo demonstrates the importance of voice projection in the theatre by Ear-piercing Screaming another to death. The eye watering stench of the giant rats and the Grimple isn’t the only unpleasantness down here, especially after the creatures get stabbed to death. Terzo: After we’re done down here, can we still set the place on fire? Civilla: No. We’re In A City. Fires in City Bad. (You know you’re in trouble when the Neutral character is telling you off) Arson thus prohibited, we move deeper, only to discover more damn Grimples. Terzo: Well, I didn’t bring any lamp oil anyway. Ayva: I did. Civilla’s Summoned monster rat is spitting lethal acid at the revolting gremlin-possums, who also projectile vomit. Terzo OoC: Exactly what kind of rat did you Summon there? Civilla: Dark. A creature of Shadow. Terzo OoC, GM: Ah - Edgy. Ayva OoC: The Rat that Squeaks In The Night. Civilla OoC: I don’t like to advertise the fact I can see in the dark, but needs must… Terzo OoC: On the bright side, it’s so dark down here none of us can tell you can see in the dark. Terzo DOES know the Grease spell, but unfortunately, so do the Grimples. Terzo barely manages to keep his footing. Ayva OoC: Fatcrobatic. Civilla OoC: Hiram Worchester he is not. Terzo: You know, unless their standards have really dropped, I don’t think these things are the Silver Ravens. Ayva: Perhaps they were honorary members. Terzo: Probationary, perhaps. *sigh* We’re going to have to search through their nest, aren’t we? And since I’m not going to ask the girls to do this, it’s going to be you and me, Raxus. We find a small assortment of shinies, and a Cloak of Protection. None of us want to touch it. Ayva: I know Prestidigitation will clean it, I STILL want to send it to the laundry. There’s more to the Silver Raven’s lair, further down, behind some grilles and locked doors, but it’s flooded by sewage, and actually smells worse than the Grimples, incredibly. And the walls are covered in profane writing, and there’s greasy chains and some very dubious-looking pillars. GM: And wallowing sound in the pool are two, well, S***-demons. Ayva OoC: Excrelementals. Terzo OoC: Funnily enough, they’re not Cacodemons. Terzo: What in the Name of ALL THAT'S HOLY happened down here??? Raxus: What in the Seven Hells is that SMELL???? Civilla: Nine Hells. Raxus: Ah, yes, Nine. Ayva: It’s fine, you were busy and missed a few. Civilla’s Summoned Celestial Eagle is quite effective against the unholy feculence, as is turning a coin into a ranged weapon, which is just as well since the rest of us don’t want to get anywhere near the things without Hazmat suits and flamethrowers. We try to figure out what happened here. Rajira and Civilla, at least, can read some of the sigils painted onto the walls. Civilla: I can read Infernal…. I’m a Chellish scholar, OK? As much as I don't want to traffic with the things, a lot of the stuff around here is written in Infernal, alright??? Apparently somebody tried to open a Gate to Avernus, the uppermost level of Hell. It would only have opened for minutes at best, but probably explains the animated ordure. Terzo: So… not much chance of any Silver Ravens down here. Civilla: There were never going to be any Silver Ravens down here! We were only going to find records, evidence at best! The Silver Ravens were all killed! What were you expecting, some undead Ravens that would have been useless to us anyway? Terzo: *sigh* I was being hopeful. Civilla: You were being delusional. We DO find hundreds of pages of documentation about the Silver Ravens in a crate. Civilla speculates on what kind of precautions and codes they may have used to protect their secrets - as it happens, she’s spot-on for most of it. GM: It will take somebody fluent in Celestial, Strix, and Elven weeks to decipher them. Civilla: It’ll take me weeks then. Raxus: *holds up a hand* Um. Ayva: And Raxus can help. Unfortunately one of the more mundane-looking journals is also enchanted with Secret Page, which will be rather more difficult to bypass. And a useful assortment of other magic items, including the enchanted silver ravens the group used for communication, and that they named themselves after. GM: I’m starting to wonder whether you’ve read the campaign notes. Civilla's player: I’ve got my own notes on how to run a secret society! I’ve tried to run through Kingmaker TWICE! Terzo’s player: And they’re playing a paranoid scholar. GM: And an Alazario - fair enough. Civilla: It looks like we’re getting roped into resurrecting the Silver Ravens. If not us, who else? Terzo: If nobody does anything, nothing will change. And there is nobody else, so it has to be us. Raxus suggests we go to the Long Road Coffeehouse, to meet another possible contact. Terzo: Bath first.
    3 points
  38. A Situation Has Arisen - it turns out the aliens we were beating up really had a good reason to be here. Hero Shrew: We probably should have realised something was up when we saw that the security guards were unconscious and stacked against a wall, instead of splattered all over it. Of course now we have to patch up the seriously hurt pilot and one of the other aliens, before we can do anything else. She was connected to the computers when we came in blasting. Hardlight: I may have just accidentally screwed that up. What am I talking about, I did it on purpose, and I’m superbly embarrassed. It’s also not easy to get a straight answer from the aliens about how much time before the invisible starship re-enters, or exactly why they needed to commandeer half the satellite fleet, but most of that is the result of half-arsed translation software. The Magus OoC: It’s got a huge STOP sign in the rulebook so I need to ask the GM first, but can I please invent a Universal Translator spell so we stop having this problem? Apparently the reason they had to abandon the ship was because of serious damage to the power systems by a stowaway and saboteur. Fireflash: And which one are you? Alien Business-demon: *indignantly* I am Captain! The ship will probably also self-destruct now, if it detects anybody boarding it without proper protocols, so teleporting to it probably isn’t going to work. Hardlight uses his civilian ID and business community connections to ask if we can use WorldSat’s primary server farm to try and connect to the alien ship before it craters Edge City. One hopes they’ll be agreeable. And answer their phones promptly. Hardlight: *texting everybody while simultaneously frantically talking on his phone* Hey everybody? Ask for Forgiveness. At least we can teleport into the main server farm instead of knocking down more walls. Hero Shrew: Hey Flux, Hardlight, how long would it take to make the Qruiser space-capable? Alien Hacker: Ship Is Translating With Ports Open! This Is Not Good! Not Good! Apparently one of the aliens - their magic user apparently - recognises SOMETHING about the Magus’ teleport spell, and recoils with abject horror after the jump. The Magus: Don’t worry about it, I’m reformed. Fux: I don’t believe a word of it. Hardlight: All I know is that his Teleports hurt. Fux: You should try it with your Third Eye open. Hero Shrew: Did I miss something? Seemed like an ordinary teleport to me. Hardlight: You just used ‘ordinary’ ‘and ‘teleport’ in one sentence. Hero Shrew: Sure. It wasn’t destructive at that end and we didn’t get reconstituted from a pool of blood at this end. Or did we? Fux: We’ll never know. Their hacker can’t stop the ship from crashing. Or redirect it away from the city. And self-destructing it will be very bad given the Dark Matter engine. And it’s already entering the exosphere. Hero Shrew: Hey Magus, can you open some kind of portal in front of it so it becomes somebody else's problem??? Instead, Magus hurried invents a Flying Belt, slaps it onto Hero Shrew, and the Moreau finally gets to use his Stronger Than a Locomotive power. Hardlight: Scooter, this is your big ‘Superman Saves The Plane’ moment. The aliens turn off the ship's cloaking device, and Fireflash grabs the shrew and flies off at top speed to intercept. The Magus: OK, Scooter, the Flight Belt will obey your thoughts. Actually that’s a terrible idea, Scooter has a lot of stray thoughts. Ok, now it follows what’s in your heart. Fux: Just make it so he points where he wants to go. The open pod ports are the only thing Scooter can get a grip on (and the only thing that was blazing on re-entry) given the frictionless metal. Then it turns invisible again, to Scooter’s shock. Thankfully it’s just the cloaking device being turned back on. Fireflash: OK, I’ll direct Scooter to that wrecked and empty lot. Hero Shrew: Wow, this spaceship is really slippery. Fireflash: Well don’t drop it, we’ll never find it again. Hardlight: Oh look, he’s flying over an orphanage. At least the Dark Matter engines would probably have survived the crash without exploding, even if we hadn’t brought it down safely. The alien captain is more concerned about losing her charter thanks to accidental contact with a pre-Warp civilization. Scooter is mostly pleased that he got to show off his muscles. Hero Shrew: So is that stowaway still on board? Alien Captain: No. He was in the other pod. The Team: … Hero Shrew: Oh. I was going to ask about that. Hardlight: Aaaaand it’s right about now that I finally get through to the business council. It doesn’t help that the aliens have no idea what their stowaway looked like. Hero Shrew: It didn’t have acid for blood did it? Hardlight’s Player: I really must play Alien: Isolation in VR sometime. Flux’s Player: Not while I live in the same house. Hero Shrew: Do you want me to tell that UNTIL guy what happened? I’m sure I remember all the details. Fireflash: .... no, I think I’ll handle that. The Aliens aren’t particularly encouraged by the fact that Earth has had other alien visitors in the past, and are utterly horrified to discover that one of those other aliens was an Elder Worm. Alien Mage: They All Dead! They ALL Dead! The Magus: Well, he should be. Alien Mage: Then Make It!!!! They Make Your People Into More Worms! The Magus: He’s tried a few times but got his ass kicked. Alien Mage: Kill Them And All Of Them! Burn Them To Ash And Scatter The Ashes! Hero Shrew: You’re lucky you didn’t come here in 70 years ago, you probably would have been autopsied. UNTIL Rep: To be fair most of them were autopsied because they were already dead. The Magus: Crashes will do that. With the exception of Ironclad who basically walked it off. Hero Shrew: If we do find a way to get you home, will you be in trouble? Alien Captain: Probably not, given the unusual circumstances. But the situation with the stowaway has me most concerned. The stowaway was aggressive, and technologically proficient, and we don’t know where it is. It did something with our drive that should not have been possible. It made a correspondence point. So this stowaway, which they picked up on a derelict ship they were salvaging, somehow knew enough to take the alien ship straight to Earth and then sabotaged the safety systems in such a way to force the launch of all escape pods and crew towards the nearest inhabitable planet. They have a picture of the derelict - and it’s a classic Flying Saucer. Little Green Men from Mars, or rather Sirians that used Mars as an invasion staging point in the 30s. GM: Little Green Men, but usually Grey - only 15% of them are green. But the alien’s lifeforce detector should have picked up any Sirians on the wreck, and it didn’t. Maybe the Magus and Flux can track it down after examining the wreckage it was hiding in to get aboard the other ship. Or at least have a look at exactly what the lifeforce detector DID detect. It’s one of HG Well’s Martians, although the upper part of the body-head really looks like a Sirian’s head. GM: Although the tentacles are a bit spindly. Fux: It just got out of a cold shower. Fireflash: Is there anywhere around here that’s storing Sirian tech? UNTIL Rep: You do understand that whether there is or not my answer will be no? Fireflash: If this thing gets its tentacles on Sirian tech we may have a problem UNTIL Rep: … I’ll kick it up the chain. GM: If you really want to understand where the Sirians sit in the Champions Universe, think of them as the Daleks But With Even More Fail. Fireflash uses her Retrocognition to figure out what the Sirian Tree Octopus was doing aboard the alien’s ship as it snuck around, which included siphoning off some of the dark matter to power its modifications to the systems. The aliens aren’t happy about having Fireflash aboard their ship, but since the Magus has already scanned most of it with Magesight they reluctantly let her get on with it. Between their various researches and study of the Sirian wreckage, the smarter members of the team come to an alarming conclusion - the thing that came to Earth in the sixth pod was an experimental Sirian Warrior, a specially designed and self-improving biomechanoid supersoldier. It was supposed to be part of the last Sirian invasion. GM: Oh F***, I’ve just realised - this is Invader Zim only competent. The Magus OoC: Just lacking supplies. Flux OoC: Have you seen this planet? That’s easily rectified. GM: It’s the alien version of ‘Dude, You’re Screwed’.
    3 points
  39. Song sung blue, everybody knows one Song sung blue, every garden grows one Me and you are subject to The blues now and then But when you take the blues And make a song You sing 'em out again You sing 'em out again Song sung blue, weeping like a willow Song sung blue, sleeping on my pillow Funny thing, But you can sing it with a cry in your voice And before you know it get to feeling good You simply got no choice Me and you are subject to The blues now and then But when you take the blues And make a song You sing 'em out again Song sung blue, weeping like a willow Song sung blue, sleeping on my pillow Funny thing, But you can sing it with a cry in your voice And before you know it start to feeling good You simply got no choice Song sung blue Song sung blue Funny thing, But you can sing it with a cry in your voice
    2 points
  40. I don’t know what happened Officer. That nice fellow with the hairy lip got possessed by the Devil and started speaking in tongues. So being a good Christian, I went over to my truck, got my shotgun and blew his head off. I bet it happened ‘cause he got one of those vaccines.
    2 points
  41. Hate to say it, but I have a bunch of old VCR cassettes (including my wedding video) but no way to play them.
    2 points
  42. https://www.cbr.com/captain-marvel-brie-larson-not-made-for-white-men/
    2 points
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