Starlord

Thor Love and Thunder won't be Chris Hemsworth's last Marvel movie

Thor Love and Thunder won't be Chris Hemsworth's last Marvel movie

I prefer Delta Burke to Delta V.

No, not Corsair!  Are the rest of the Starjammers ok?

I would never complain about the demigod of quarterbacks and froggy voices.  Of course, it wasn't until this very moment that I put that post in the wrong thread.  
 
Starlord ->  <-Starlord

No, not Corsair!  Are the rest of the Starjammers ok?

If all the toilets in your house are occupied and you are waiting for one to be free, switch off the wi-fi.

Too clever by half: 25 highbrow jokes
 
1. A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: “No, I’m travelling light.”
 
2. “Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?”
 
3. What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
 
4. A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman: “Hello, I’d like a beer.” The barman replies: “Hello, you’d like a beer?” “Yes,” replies the TCP packet, “I’d like a beer.”
 
5. An electron is driving down a motorway, and a policeman pulls him over. The policeman says: “Sir, do you realise you were travelling at 130km per hour?” The electron goes: “Oh great, now I’m lost.”
 
6. Pavlov is enjoying a pint in the pub. The phone rings. He jumps up and shouts: “Hell, I forgot to feed the dog!”
 
7. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish.
 
8. There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don’t.
 
9. When I heard that oxygen and magnesium hooked up I was like OMg.
 
10. The barman says: “We don’t serve faster-than-light particles here.” A tachyon enters a bar.
 
11. A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says: “Make me one with everything”.
 
12. What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder.
 
13. An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together. A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men can’t see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: “Can you see me now?” The four men answer: “Yes.” “Oui.” “Si.” “Ja.”
 
14. Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
 
15. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem.
 
16. A student travelling on a train looks up and sees Einstein sitting next to him. Excited, he asks: “Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?”
 
17. Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on a technicality.
 
18. Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Gödel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg turns to the other two and says: “Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it’s funny or not?” Gödel replies: “We can’t know that because we’re inside the joke.” Chomsky says: “Of course it’s funny. You’re just telling it wrong.”
 
19. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: “Five beers, please.”
 
20. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.
 
21. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says: “What’ll it be, boys?” The first mathematician: “I’ll have one half of a beer.” The second mathematician: “I’ll have one quarter of a beer.” The third mathematician: “I’ll have one eight of a beer.” The fourth mathematician: “I’ll have one sixteenth of a…” The bartender interrupts: “Know your limits, boys” as he pours out a single beer.
 
22. What does the “B” in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Answer: Benoit B Mandelbrot.
 
23. Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French café, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress: “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies: “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”
 
24. A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: “Euripides?” The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?”
 
25. A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
 

The Hero: I'm on a quest to avenge the death of my Father!
 
The Paladin: You have my sword!
 
The Elf: And my bow!
 
The Dwarf: And my axe!
 
The Necromancer: And your father!

If all the toilets in your house are occupied and you are waiting for one to be free, switch off the wi-fi.

The quickest way to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Most cartoon dogs talk, so we could just ask them.

Yeah, this one's autodraft. 

The legend lives on from the Apprentice on down
of the big oompaloompa called Donnie
The Donnie, it is said, always has some bed head
and he's friends with a loon named Giulani
With a MAGA flag load, 26,000 or more stowed, 
than that big, ole fat Trump boat weighed empty
that good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
when the polls of November vote truly
 
 
 
PS - think Gordon Lightfoot....

The legend lives on from the Apprentice on down
of the big oompaloompa called Donnie
The Donnie, it is said, always has some bed head
and he's friends with a loon named Giulani
With a MAGA flag load, 26,000 or more stowed, 
than that big, ole fat Trump boat weighed empty
that good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
when the polls of November vote truly
 
 
 
PS - think Gordon Lightfoot....

The legend lives on from the Apprentice on down
of the big oompaloompa called Donnie
The Donnie, it is said, always has some bed head
and he's friends with a loon named Giulani
With a MAGA flag load, 26,000 or more stowed, 
than that big, ole fat Trump boat weighed empty
that good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
when the polls of November vote truly
 
 
 
PS - think Gordon Lightfoot....

The legend lives on from the Apprentice on down
of the big oompaloompa called Donnie
The Donnie, it is said, always has some bed head
and he's friends with a loon named Giulani
With a MAGA flag load, 26,000 or more stowed, 
than that big, ole fat Trump boat weighed empty
that good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
when the polls of November vote truly
 
 
 
PS - think Gordon Lightfoot....

The legend lives on from the Apprentice on down
of the big oompaloompa called Donnie
The Donnie, it is said, always has some bed head
and he's friends with a loon named Giulani
With a MAGA flag load, 26,000 or more stowed, 
than that big, ole fat Trump boat weighed empty
that good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
when the polls of November vote truly
 
 
 
PS - think Gordon Lightfoot....