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Shadow Hawk

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Everything posted by Shadow Hawk

  1. My Dad had one that said Master Planner, where the smaller size was needed to fit all the letters.
  2. How can you think the unthinkable? Uthe an ithberg.
  3. I have a goatee for two reasons: 1. It distinguishes me from the military guys I work with. 2. It hides the fact I don't have a chin.
  4. Champions Universe, 5th edition, modified to include actions done by previous PC groups.
  5. 50 Shades of Jean Gray 50 Shades of Greystroke: The legend of Tarzan 50 Shades of First Dates
  6. Q: What's wrong with saying "Not in the face!"? A: It's not contagious.
  7. Well, Dad is in Yellowstone for another tourist season, so here are the ranger jokes. 1 How to identify the bear trying to eat you: Climb a tree. If it climbs the tree to eat you, it's a black bear. If it knocks down the tree to eat you, it's a grizzly bear. 2. Do not blow your car horn at the herd of bison crossing the road. The males have been known to use thier horns in retaliation. 3. In August, you get the mating season for elk. At this time of year, male elk get single minded, and tend to look at things as either a. something to mate with, b. something to fight with, or c. something to eat. As you do not wish to be in any of these catagories, stay away from elk. 4. Male bighorn sheep are called "rams" for a good reason. If you want a demonstration, stand too close to the herd. 5. The tree that looks like a telephone pole with a Christmas tree on top is a lodgepole pine. They grow that way naturally. The tree that looks like a telephone pole with a palm tree on top is a cell phone tower trying to blend in and failing. 6. Geysers are not on a clock. "Old Faithful" erupts about every 45 minutes, plus or minus a half hour. And it's the most regular geyser in the world. 7. If a bear wants your backpack, let him have it. 8. Don't shoot a bear with a pistol. You may injure him, but he'll kill you.
  8. It wouldn't work for me, the cops would claim that my pasty white legs were an attempt to blind them.
  9. I thought using Trojans prevented you from catching diseases.
  10. I'm suddenly reminded of the great Navajo electrician, Many Hands, who brought the first public toilet with electrical lighting to his people, thus becoming the first man to Wire A Head For A Reservation. As we all know, Many Hands make light work.
  11. Stan Lee. That way he'll be in ALL the movies!
  12. "It's a Small World After All" becomes the U.N.'s anthem. NT: Other song's for the world's anthem.
  13. Water. NT: Inventions where you Just Add Water!
  14. There are two kinds of people, those who foolishly think you can divide people into two kind and those who know better.
  15. It reminds me to "never put anything on the internet you don't want your mother to see". Or your spouse, or employer, or...
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