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Everything posted by cranialspasm

  1. Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I know I don't visit often, but here are the latest quotes from my life. Hope everyone is doing well! http://cranialspasm.com/category/quotes-from-pals/
  2. Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Your mom does the drunken fall when she's sober." Dad 4/4/10 (He was three sheets at that point)
  3. Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Awwww! You made my day! Thanks!
  4. Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Hey everyone! I've been incredibly silent for awhile. Sorry about that! So to make up for it, here's a bunch of quotes! It's a good thing I don't know KungFu... I'd kick her in the face. Ali 3/11/10 The hippies are in front of us! If they start smoking funny stuff I'm outta here. Mom 3/11/10 Yoga: Helping American women get kinky since... uh... the early nineties? Ali 3/12/10 Iloveamaninuniform! ... That was a drive by compliment. Ali 3/17/10 "This water is gross." "It's electrolytes! Boogey Oogey Oogey!" Jamie and Ali 3/18/10 "You said 'I feel like a vibrating dragon when I drink that'!" "No, I said 'fire-breathing'" Ali and Candace 3/20/10 It's a f***ing spirograph of darkness. Ali 3/22/10 "He starts to perspire." "Expire?" "Yeah." "Ha! He sweats to death!" Steve and Ali 3/22/10 "Looks like somebody's got a case of-" "DON'T YOU SAY IT! DON'T YOU F***ING SAY IT!" Boss and Ali 3/29/10 "Do you think you'd get a contact high from making out with Doug Benson?" "I would be more than happy to find out." Seth and Ali 3/30/10
  5. Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Naked hot tub and a bag of wine is f***ing awesome." "You, my friend, are a renaissance man." JonB and Ali 12/18/09 "Why is there glitter all over the floor?" "The Twilight guys came over." "I heard their farts shoot glitter." Steve, Ali and Jon B 12/18/09 "I'm halfway to Amy Winehouse." Jamie 12/18/09 "I never hated the number one until I started playing D&D" Jamie 12/18/09
  6. Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat "There are three flowers in a vase. The third flower is green." (God I'm gonna miss Dollhouse.)
  7. Re: A Thread for Random Videos Christmas Cheer.
  8. Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. ME: "Velociraptors make terrible pets." Steve: "I know. We learned that with our other sister." ME: *sniff* "I miss Betty." Ashley: "You guys had a sister?" Jamie: "There's nothing there but incest and ignorance." ME: "They should put that on the brochure." Nate rolls a *cheater's* d20 and gets a 3 Me: "Uh... You should probably cheat."
  9. Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "What have we learned from horror movies? Bad things happen when you go upstairs." Ali 12/11/09 Okay, let me just say that game started out with us on the first floor of a funhouse. We spent about an hour (playing... thanks to a GM who wouldn't throw us a bone) falling due to stairs collapsing underneath us. Now... It's funny... Then... I just wanted to go home. Ali: playing a Vietnamese Mehket named Cam Renee: playing an Irish Gangrel named Shannon Mel: GM Tara: playing a Daeva named Ryan Ali: "Who watches a football game in mute?" Renee: "Deaf people?" Ali: "What f***t*** would have a deaf ghoul?" Mel: "Actually they ARE all deaf." Ali: "How bad do I feel right now?" 12/11/09 "We're all going to hell... We're gonna have so much fun guys!" Ali 12/11/09 "You can't quantify 3 years in 3 hours." "Ha! You just used 'quantify'." "Yes, but did I use it correctly?" Ali and Renee 12/11/09 "Everyone's falling on me with their claws out." "It's like dating Edward Scissorhands!!" Renee and Ali 12/11/09 "So Shannon looks up and there are all these Irish boys falling on her. She probably thought 'is this a good dream?' Then her ribs started breaking." Ali 12/11/09 "He's all about instant gratification." "YES! He wants to be shot... RIGHT NOW!" Renee and Ali 12/11/09 "Does your character have striking looks?" "She doesn't, but she'll strike you until you think she's pretty." Mel and Ali 12/11/09 "I keep falling down. I'm like a grandma with a life alert bracelet... There's a special place in hell for me, isn't there? I hope there's an open bar." Ali 12/11/09 Our final battle is gonna be with stairs... Ali 12/11/09 My next character is getting a specialty in stair climbing. Ali 12/11/09 "CAUTION: Falling Vampires." Ali 12/11/09 "There are little men in the world." "Leprechauns?" Renee and Ali 12/11/09 "That's not Wonderland. It's just a basement." Ali 12/11/09 "I laugh in the face of stairs!" "I would freak the f*** out if there were faces on stairs." Mel and Ali 12/11/09 "I loathe to say this, but there may be more stairs." "... I hate this place." Renee and Ali 12/11/09 "You see a man staring lustfully at him and he's daydreaming." "Add sparkles and you've got TWILIGHT." Mel and Ali 12/11/09 My character has the best defense against a boxer. Ten feet and a Beretta. Ali 12/11/09 Oh! She's about to go all 'Dukes of Hazard' on you!! Ali 12/11/09 "You don't want to visit Frenzyland." "That's the worst theme park ever." Mel and Ali 12/11/09 Whispering makes things more intense. *whispered* It really does. Ali 12/11/09 Oh yeah, 'cause nothing is more fashionable than bleeding to death. Ali 12/11/09 You make it sound so dirty... Thank you! Ali 12/11/09 I think a head cold is God's way of telling me to hate my friends. Ali 12/11/09
  10. Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "I LOVE beans! Lima beans... jelly beans... lez-beans..." - Matt (followed by me turning into a puddle of giggles on the ground)
  11. Re: What Are You Listening To Right Now? Primus - Mr. Knowitall
  12. Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Patient: "You sound exhausted." Me: It's my double life. At night I roam the streets fighting crime." Patient: "Really?" Me: "No." This happened about five minutes ago. I also had an audition last night. Director asks in an application(there's probably a better word for that, but I am so tired my brain hurts) "are you comfortable with dropping trou in front of an audience?" I lean over to my friend, Jamie and say "I've lost a bunch of weight and don't have a belt. It'll probably happen tonight."
  13. Re: A Thread for Random Videos Sometimes comedy is silent. I love this! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwaujgtW47M&feature=channel
  14. Re: A Thread for Random Videos I promise you that you will LOVE this! http://www.inbflat.net/
  15. Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Zombies are people, too. Or, in their words, 'Brrraaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnnnsssss." "I loved a zombie once... Then it tried to eat my face and I had to end the relationship... With EXTREME prejudice." Tim and Ali 11/24/9 "I go for the jugular. I learned that from my zombie boyfriend." "Clearly that's a lie, because zombies know that there are no brains to be found in the jugular." "Zombies are hardly intelligent enough to figure that out of their own... That's why they hire personal assistants." Ali and Tim 11/24/09 I love that you're gay. I just hate what it's doing to our relationship. Krista 11/25/09 I've done things I'm not proud of. I wore stirrup pants in the eighties. Krista 11/25/09 Lesblasian. Krista 11/25/09 I got the cadillac of bacon. Pat 11/25/09 Did it smell funny like a monster? Krista 11/25/09 You could put a blacklight on her face and it would look like the fourth of July. Krista 11/25/09 I made him awesome out of fear like people make children awesome out of fear. Krista 11/25/09 I love bacon like I love my mom. Ali 11/25/09 My desire for revenge is not as big as my desire for cake. Krista 11/25/09 I went through a transition once. Pat 11/25/09 They think you might be light in the loafers... And that I'm heavy in the clog.... I love comfortable shoes. Krista 11/26/09 "Wanna say grace, Bobbo?" "I'm pretty sure we all started eating." "Whatever... Jesus hung out with a who**... I don't think he minds." Krista and Bob 11/26/09 "I'm not sure that I should permiss you to speak." Pat 11/26/09 "A parent is always proud of their children's accomplishments." "I once fit two d***s in my mouth." Mogie and Krista 11/26/09 My sn*** film? The acting is false but the fear is real. Pat 11/26/09 "Can you imagine what daddy would do if you were snuffed?" "I would scorch the earth." Mogie and Bob 11/26/09 "You know what Patrick and everyone else likes about Patrick?" "DNA?" "Patrick." Krista and Ali 11/26/09 "Would you like to taste the pleasures of a woman tonight?" "Ummm... I've already had a slice of carrot cake." Krista and Porter 11/26/09 He's got a 5 o'clock shadow at like 2:15pm. Krista 11/26/09 I used to watch the Daily Show to get my news. I was not the most well informed person, but I was funny. Jackie 11/26/09 Even when he had them, Shane McGowan's teeth were gnarly. When I say gnarly, I don't mean like surfing gnarly... I mean like a tree. Vicki 11/27/09 Can you get a bowl of milk for my eyebrows? They're thirsty. Seth 11/27/09 No because he's sweaty and smells like gifilte fish. Vicki 11/27/09 All rabbits are french canadian. Vicki 11/27/09 "Oops! Did I do that?" "You're not even holding the remote, you're holding my phone. Technology is scary, huh?" Mom and Ali 11/29/09 "What movie is this?" "Definitely, Maybe." "S&M Matey?" Mom and Ali 11/29/09 "This game ain't about making friends." Ali 11/29/09 "I love laughing at people... It's probably why I have no friends." Ali 11/29/09 "I read language." Mom 11/29/09 "No pain no brain." Mom 11/29/09 "Oh SPF, You're so hot when your wound is getting cauterized." Jamie 11/30/09 "Is that the f***in mom from the Goonies?" "Where the f*** is Sean Astin?" Jamie and Ali 11/30/09 [cut scene from BDS] Uh... Mom? Adding an accent to American English doesn't make it a foreign language. I love you so much right now! Ali 12/1/09 Every good relationship has f***ing and punching. Ashley 12/1/09 "God Steve, I hate your face." "Really? Because he doesn't have much of a personality to fall back on." Ashley and Ali 12/01/09 Who put the silly sauce on the pizza? Jamie 12/1/09 Thank you for being useful! YAY! Steve 12/1/09 "I'm your drug." "Sweet. I'm freebasing Jamie." Jamie and Ali 12/1/09 "You've just been pigeon holed. You've been holed by pigeons." Ali 12/1/09 "I don't know. They're having a conversation in dungeons and dragonese." Jamie 12/1/09 "What year were you born in?" "2003?" "Oh my f***, Steve. You're going to jail." Ali and Ashley 12/1/09 I don't even know what I'm laughing about. Steve 12/1/09 I wanna go to a prosthesis pawn shop. Ali 12/1/09 I've never been gay. Steve 12/1/09
  16. Re: What Are You Listening To Right Now? Sax Man by the Lonely Islands (f Jack Black) HIGHSTERICAL!
  17. Re: What Are You Listening To Right Now? Be your own DJ! I am! http://blip.fm/invite/CranialSpasm
  18. Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat Someone please rep him for me!!! That is EXACTLY the conversation we had at dinner. They wondered why I left early.
  19. Re: A Thread for Random Videos Okay that looks like a hell of a lot of fun, but I wonder how many times it hasn't released and theperson got a trip to the ground on the other side with 60mph behind them.
  20. Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. New quotes from this eve. http://www.twitter.com/QuotesFromPals
  21. Re: A Thread for Random Videos And because tis the season...
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