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dmjalund

HERO Member
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  1. Like
    dmjalund got a reaction from Ockham's Spoon in Jokes   
    A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.
     
    The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
     
    He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
     
    Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
     
    The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
     
    This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
     
    The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
     
    The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
     
    "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."
     
    She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
     
    The lawyer , puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
     
    After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
     
    The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some sleep.
     
    The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
     
    Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
     
  2. Like
    dmjalund got a reaction from wcw43921 in Jokes   
    Q: What is heavier, water or butane?
     
    A: Water. because Butane is a lighter fluid
     
  3. Haha
    dmjalund got a reaction from Duke Bushido in In other news...   
    a rough tongue is a classic feline trait
  4. Thanks
    dmjalund got a reaction from Old Man in One Off   
    DOOMED!
  5. Haha
    dmjalund got a reaction from IndianaJoe3 in I'm buying my own solar system   
    How much for just the planet?
  6. Like
    dmjalund got a reaction from Lawnmower Boy in I'm buying my own solar system   
    How much for just the planet?
  7. Haha
    dmjalund got a reaction from Pariah in Gambit: Play for Keeps   
    yes. we have no bandana. we have no bandana today
  8. Like
    dmjalund got a reaction from Cancer in I'm buying my own solar system   
    How much for just the planet?
  9. Like
    dmjalund got a reaction from Lawnmower Boy in In other news...   
    a rough tongue is a classic feline trait
  10. Like
    dmjalund got a reaction from Starlord in In other news...   
    a rough tongue is a classic feline trait
  11. Like
    dmjalund got a reaction from assault in In other news...   
    a rough tongue is a classic feline trait
  12. Haha
    dmjalund got a reaction from Pariah in Jokes   
    A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.
     
    The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
     
    He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
     
    Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
     
    The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
     
    This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
     
    The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
     
    The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
     
    "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."
     
    She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
     
    The lawyer , puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
     
    After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
     
    The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some sleep.
     
    The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
     
    Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
     
  13. Haha
    dmjalund got a reaction from Duke Bushido in Jokes   
    A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.
     
    The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
     
    He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
     
    Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
     
    The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
     
    This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
     
    The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
     
    The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
     
    "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."
     
    She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
     
    The lawyer , puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
     
    After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
     
    The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some sleep.
     
    The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
     
    Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
     
  14. Like
    dmjalund got a reaction from Starlord in Jokes   
    A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.
     
    The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
     
    He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
     
    Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
     
    The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
     
    This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
     
    The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
     
    The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
     
    "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."
     
    She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
     
    The lawyer , puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
     
    After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
     
    The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some sleep.
     
    The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
     
    Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
     
  15. Haha
    dmjalund got a reaction from wcw43921 in Jokes   
    A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.
     
    The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
     
    He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
     
    Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
     
    The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
     
    This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
     
    The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
     
    The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
     
    "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."
     
    She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
     
    The lawyer , puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
     
    After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
     
    The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some sleep.
     
    The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
     
    Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
     
  16. Haha
    dmjalund got a reaction from Tjack in Jokes   
    A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.
     
    The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
     
    He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
     
    Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
     
    The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
     
    This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
     
    The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
     
    The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
     
    "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."
     
    She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
     
    The lawyer , puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
     
    After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
     
    The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some sleep.
     
    The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
     
    Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
     
  17. Like
    dmjalund got a reaction from ScottishFox in Small Humanoids and Bonuses   
    Your feet
     are considered area affect attacks against worms
  18. Like
    dmjalund got a reaction from Hugh Neilson in Trigger vs Linked Attack: An Adveantageous Limitation   
    As far as I can see, there is nothing you can do with two linked attacks that you can't do with a combined attack
  19. Like
    dmjalund got a reaction from tkdguy in Small Humanoids and Bonuses   
    Your feet
     are considered area affect attacks against worms
  20. Haha
    dmjalund got a reaction from Duke Bushido in SFX's Result Uncertainty   
    did you pay for that EGO boost?
  21. Haha
    dmjalund got a reaction from Duke Bushido in What’s Going On With Steve Long?   
    The rumour is that his cat has taken over his Facebook page
  22. Like
    dmjalund got a reaction from tkdguy in Funny Pics II: The Revenge   
    More like Miss Alpha+Beta Quadrant 
  23. Haha
    dmjalund got a reaction from Duke Bushido in Genre-crossover nightmares   
    Wonder Woman 1984 by George Perez and George Orwell
  24. Like
    dmjalund reacted to Cygnia in Funny Pics II: The Revenge   
  25. Thanks
    dmjalund got a reaction from slikmar in DC Movies- if at first you don't succeed...   
    i think you mean Cyborg
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