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Arandmoor_Keet

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  1. Like
    Arandmoor_Keet reacted to teh bunneh in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     
    The UNITY team is discussing how they might infiltrate an alien battleship. The team's shapeshifting Russian hero has a suggestion.
     
    Vilkacis: You could fit me inside a small hollow missile and fire me at the enemy ship. The missile would penetrate the hull, allowing me access!
    Me: So the missile would be a Depleted Ukrainian round?
     

  2. Like
    Arandmoor_Keet reacted to OneWingedAngel in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     
    From a pick-up starwars game last night:
     
    A wookie and a human walk into a bar. (stop me if you've heard this one...)
    When questioned about his comrade, the human answers, "Him? He's my fur coat, I just haven't had it killed yet."
    Later in the same scene, the wookie is questioned by another wookie, to which he responds, "Oh, Him? He's my condom. I just haven't used him yet."
     
    ------
     
    "If we're not here to make trouble, what the hell are we here for?"
     
    ------
     
    On trying to break into a prison:
    "We'll get the wookie arrested. Just think of all the things you can hide in a wookie."
     
    ------
     
    "As long as we come out of it alive, it's alright."
     
    ------
     
    Two Jedi, A Killian Ranger (alternate force tradition), and two droids are breaking into a prison disguised as maintenance workers.
     
    The Killian Ranger and one Jedi are arguing in a corner, attempting to look nonchelant, when they are approached by a dark jedi and the obligatory cadre of stormtroopers.
     
    Dark Jedi: "I'm not sure... Which one of you is it?"
    Ranger: "What do you mean? We're just cleaners."
    Dark Jedi: "Spare me. Which of you is the Jedi?"
    The Jedi and the Killian turn away from him and huddle. Rock, Paper, Scissors ensues. The Jedi throws scissors. The Killian throws rock.
    Jedi: "****."
    Ranger: "HA!" Points to Jedi "He is."
     
    ------
     
    Just after the group has defeated the DJ, and finishes dispatching the stormtroopers, another three platoons of stormtroopers enters the causeway, escorting the prisoners we'd gone to recover. With bodies littering the floor, the Killian ranger calmly steps up to the officer apparent and says, "We'll take them from here."
     
    Persuasion check = 1,1,1
    "Oh, okay." And they turn around and leave.
  3. Like
    Arandmoor_Keet reacted to TheTemplar in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     
    From last night's Fantasy Hero Turakian Age campaign:
     
    Raz (Human Rogue) and Grangnar (Drakine Wizard) take a load of silver ore found on their last adventure to a local smithy to sell it. As the smith's apprentices are carrying the loads of ore into the store, Grangnar, a little leery of... well.. everyone, after all the cultists that they've run into lately, asks the Smith -
     
    Grangnar: "So... you haven't raised a horde of ravaging undead in the basement or anything, have you?"
     
    Smith: "... Define 'Horde'."
     
    Grangnar: "Umm... Over 5?"
     
    Smith: ".. Do you mean 5 and over, or just more than 5?"
     
    Grangnar: "Umm... more than 5."
     
    Smith: "Oh. In that case, no. No I haven't."
     
    Grangnar: "Oh. Good."
    ----------------
    After a brief exchange overnight with Avelyne Lindsey, another prisoner being kept in the tower, where the PCs found themselves imprisoned, Raz speaks to Grangnar:
     
    Raz: "I don't know if you noticed this or not, but that woman up there in the cell next to yours is a total psycho."
     
    Grangnar: "Well.. she IS a woman."
    ----------------
    And later, as Grangnar attempts conversation with the unusually reclusive Avelyne:
     
    Grangnar: "So... what are you in for?"
     
    Avelyne: "... I killed my husband."
     
    Grangnar: "Oh. You.. didn't raise ravaging hordes of undead or anything afterwards, did you?"
     
    Avelyne: "... Define 'Hordes'."
  4. Like
    Arandmoor_Keet got a reaction from death tribble in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     
    We started a DND3e Arcana Evolved game tonight with a sort of wierd basis...
     
    Basicly, I'm DMing and the group just BSes untill they say something that grabs my attention enough to run with.
     
    I'll also occasionally run a neat-looking adventure from Dungeon...
     
    4 Characters (you can tell this campaign is far from serious...)
     
    Seymor: Male human witch trying to nail everything female that moves (except the female PC Sarah...)
     
    Sarah: Female PC (only one that Seymor won't touch) described as a "Fire-breathing blood-sucking ***** from which there is no return" (by Seymor of all people). Mage Blade from hell.
     
    Azzlend: Lithorian Eagle Totem Warrior. He's a cat who worships a bird...whole group basicly labeled him gay and the player fell right into the "acts like he could be gay but isn't" type.
     
    Cymon: Human "ninja"-esque character. He's an ex-assassin presently in an employment "slump" due to...downsizing... (brings to mind the scene from Terminal Velocity..."KGB laid off? AUTOWORKERS get laid off!")
     
    No comedic potential here...
     
    Anyway...2 good ones from tonight
     
     
    Seymor: “Why do these things keep following you?†(refering to the goblin bandits the party just fought off)
     
    Sarah: “It's not my fault! It's his fault!†(pointing at Azzlend)
     
    Azzlend: “I blame society.â€
     
    ----------------------------------------------------------
     
    Just finished fighting off a flock of Stirges. In the fight Azzlend accidentally hit Seymor with his warhammer when he botched an attack roll.
     
    Azzlend: “Look at the hammer! It's bigger than the Stirge!â€
     
    Seymor: “Trying to make up for something?â€
     
    Azzlend: “Lets not bring that into this.â€
     
    Sarah: “Plead the fifth! Plead the fifth!â€
     
    Azzlend: “I'll plead the fifteenth! Three times as good.â€
  5. Like
    Arandmoor_Keet got a reaction from Samuraiko in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     
    Just finished our Ebberon game tonight (going on to Starwars...episode 3 addicted me again...need to get it out of my system...)
     
    Rundown of our last mis-adventure leading up to these points...
     
    We were after a vampire at the behest of the guy that refered to us as "discreet" (earlier post...) and had cought up to his coach driven by his sister. In our normal "discreet" manner our Warforged fighter Hammer decided it would be a good idea to fire his crossbow at the lady driving the carrage since we were suposed to be attacking it.
     
    This was at about 240 yards...of course he missed and the carrage started running...
     
    Adam (me): "Way to go and prove how 'discreet' we can be Hammer..."
     
    A few rounds later I 'stopped' the carrage with a web spell anchoring the horse team to the ground... Refering to the lady driving the carrage (she had hit us with a fireball earlier and killed hammer's horse)
     
    Hammer: Well, at least she was strapped in! (refering to the web spell...she failed her save)
     
    After deliberating over what would happen to the coach, the DM and several Warhammer players nearby (after a very fun conversation) decided that after the running poles were dragged into the ground by the horses tripping (full gallop with that web crap gumming up their legs) the coach was a total write off. The girl driving got turned into a jelly-like substance when she took a header with several hundred pounds of wooden coach riding HER into the ground, and the vampire inside (in his coffin...no seatbelt ) was flung bodily out through the roof.
     
    Hammer: Well, she's gone...
    Adam: (in refrence to airship jargon) Please make sure your baggage is SECURELY tied down in the over head bins!
     
    Finally, finishing the adventure (we took like a month off from roleplaying due to a string of stuff causing us to miss games...)
     
    We take over the airship the Vampire is hiding on, and direct it to go back to Sharn (where we started) when we get attacked by pirates and they (for various reasons) end up ramming us. Well, after we get off the ship we see that the wreckage is almost directly over a paraid celebrating the long years of service people like the guy who told us to go do this whole thing have given to the peoples of Breiland.
     
    Hammer and Adam: "Uh oh..."
     
    We chase the vampire onto a Lightning Rail (think train) and, while searching for the Vampire run into a fellow Artificer of House Cannith (Orlin) and his Warforged Scout (Sledge).
     
    GM: You get to talking with Orlin du'Cannith and he goes on about how he's meeting his Intelligence contact in Sharn (*insert name here*...same guy who got us on this 'adventure').
     
    Adam (Me): "You wouldn't happen to be Cyran intelligence. Would you?"
    Orlin: "Why yes. How did you know?" (I had been acused of being Cyran intelligence when we were told to go do track the vampire...though we were being blackmailed...)
    (Me to GM): I hate you.
  6. Like
    Arandmoor_Keet got a reaction from Samuraiko in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     
    Sigh...not hero (sob) but funny none the less.
     
    We're playing in an Eberon game. I'm behind the reigns of a bossy human Artificer of house Cannith (Adam), and my friend is playing my Warforged Bodyguard (Hammer). Story behind the two is that I built him before the end of the war and we then served untill it ended.
     
    Quotes:
    Hammer: "...then you can bind an air elemental to me, and I could fly!"
    Adam: "No! No flight!"
    Hammer: "Why not?"
    Adam: "Because first you'll want wings! Then you'll want BLADES ON THEM!"
     
    ------------------
     
    Adam: "Uh oh. Iron Defenders."
    Hammer: "Ooh...DOGGIES! I WANT A DOGGIE!"
    Adam: "No Hammer. No dogs. Umm...hows this. You go first and destroy them, and I'll stay here."
    Hammer: "No. I want a doggie!"
    Adam: "What? No dogs Hammer. Now destroy them so we can search the room and get out of here."
    Hammer: "No. I want one of THOSE doggies!"
    Adam: "Hammer. Axe. Doggies. Now. I'll make you one later."
     
    ------------------
     
    Sinister Man: "I have heard tales of your group's exploits and know of your reputation to be both effective and discreet."
    Hammer: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...(continues for a while)"
    Adam: "Do you want me to help you find these 'discreet' guys you keep going on about because there's no way in HELL you can be talking about us."
    Hammer: "(still laughing)"
    Adam: "Maybe you're talking about my cousin? Alvin duCannith? He's kind of discreet...well...compared to us at least..."
    Sinister Man: "No, I'm positive it's you."
    Hammer: "(still laughing)"
     
    -----------------------
     
    Little explaniation about this one. We were on an airship looking for a vampire that was on-board and were in our cabin discussing tactics.
     
    Adam: "Okay, when we find him, what do we do with the captin demanding we stay in our cabbin like that?"
    Hammer: "I want to ride the vampire all the way to the ground! It would make one hell of a crater, AND he'd be turned into goo!"
    Adam: "Umm...Hammer, I didn't build you to survive that kind of a fall..."
    Hamer: "Yeah, but THINK of the crater we'd make!"
     
    Ugh...the thing's I put up with...
     

  7. Like
    Arandmoor_Keet got a reaction from death tribble in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     
    Sigh...not hero (sob) but funny none the less.
     
    We're playing in an Eberon game. I'm behind the reigns of a bossy human Artificer of house Cannith (Adam), and my friend is playing my Warforged Bodyguard (Hammer). Story behind the two is that I built him before the end of the war and we then served untill it ended.
     
    Quotes:
    Hammer: "...then you can bind an air elemental to me, and I could fly!"
    Adam: "No! No flight!"
    Hammer: "Why not?"
    Adam: "Because first you'll want wings! Then you'll want BLADES ON THEM!"
     
    ------------------
     
    Adam: "Uh oh. Iron Defenders."
    Hammer: "Ooh...DOGGIES! I WANT A DOGGIE!"
    Adam: "No Hammer. No dogs. Umm...hows this. You go first and destroy them, and I'll stay here."
    Hammer: "No. I want a doggie!"
    Adam: "What? No dogs Hammer. Now destroy them so we can search the room and get out of here."
    Hammer: "No. I want one of THOSE doggies!"
    Adam: "Hammer. Axe. Doggies. Now. I'll make you one later."
     
    ------------------
     
    Sinister Man: "I have heard tales of your group's exploits and know of your reputation to be both effective and discreet."
    Hammer: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...(continues for a while)"
    Adam: "Do you want me to help you find these 'discreet' guys you keep going on about because there's no way in HELL you can be talking about us."
    Hammer: "(still laughing)"
    Adam: "Maybe you're talking about my cousin? Alvin duCannith? He's kind of discreet...well...compared to us at least..."
    Sinister Man: "No, I'm positive it's you."
    Hammer: "(still laughing)"
     
    -----------------------
     
    Little explaniation about this one. We were on an airship looking for a vampire that was on-board and were in our cabin discussing tactics.
     
    Adam: "Okay, when we find him, what do we do with the captin demanding we stay in our cabbin like that?"
    Hammer: "I want to ride the vampire all the way to the ground! It would make one hell of a crater, AND he'd be turned into goo!"
    Adam: "Umm...Hammer, I didn't build you to survive that kind of a fall..."
    Hamer: "Yeah, but THINK of the crater we'd make!"
     
    Ugh...the thing's I put up with...
     

  8. Like
    Arandmoor_Keet got a reaction from Doug McCrae in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    We didn't roleplay this weekend, but this line was funny none the less.
     
    "My Chaolic Schoolgirl can beat up your Catholic Schoolgirl!"
     
    Arandmoor
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