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Michael Hopcroft

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Everything posted by Michael Hopcroft

  1. Q: How dare you mock the King of the High School Vampire Club! Now yuou will -- suffer? A: Ir's those dang Whywolves you really need to worry about.
  2. Do you want Orcs? Because that's how you get Orcs!
  3. He's the person Kanye West warned us about.
  4. Q: Our guys are having real prpoblems in Foxboro tonight, eh, Bob? A: He must not be cheatin' after all!
  5. The demons looking after the ink are not on strike.
  6. You're the only one there with a Centauri haircut.
  7. The Kraken, knowing they need to sell the Seattle market on the new sport in town, have prepared this handy-dandy resource guide to learn the sport, including videos.; This should help too.
  8. Q: Why does nobody call basketball superstar Giannis by his last name? A: I said I came here to administer the Last Rites. I did not say for who.
  9. Jacksonville is one of the NFL's smaller markets, but the expenses and difficulties of basing anNFL team in London boggle my mind. How man y NFL players would not make it past the Immogration Department, or can't get passports for whatever reason? Birmingham (Alabama) might support an NFL team. They might even go out looking for one someday. I think Portland is quite happy being Seahawks country).
  10. Pioneering Disney animator Ruthie Thompson has died at the age of 111.
  11. Hockey has started for real in the NHL, and the Kraken played their first game yesterday against the team that set the high bar for expansion teams -- The Vegas Golden Knights, who made the Finals in their first year. The ESPN commentators describing the game thought the Knights were favorites to win everything. As for the Kraken, they said the new team in Seattle would he fighting for a playoff berth in the West, and might even win a series. The game did no go against that assessment. Vegas won on a very questionable goal (The Kraken's coach thought he had kicked the puck into the net, which is illegal in ice hockey, but Toronto could find no hard evidence to overturn the call on the ice. Since that was the game winner, Seattle fans have every reason to be angry), but the Kraken showed skill and heart, coming back from 3-0 midway through the second to tying the game in the third and looking like they could score the lead goal. I imagine some of the the names on that roster will become familiar to me.
  12. I can't believe the Raiders didn't know about these prominent displays of jackassery. This is going to be a deserved PR nightmare for them.
  13. There are a lot of Youtube videos explaning the "Bronze Age Collapse", a climate-related catastrophe that almost sunk WWEstern civilization before it had a chance to get going -- as the breadbasket states of the "Fertile Crescent" dried out. Mesopotamia was apparently hit particularly hard.
  14. '"A fool knows everything and nothing." "Power became my lover." "Was she pretty?" "Pretty familiar."
  15. "I am skilled in the art of curing. Shall I treat your face?" is one of the best veiled insults I have ever heard.
  16. Cornering the North American market on escargot. NT: Subtle signs that the editorial department at CNN no longer finds your antics amusing.
  17. Q: I didn't say it was ducks, but -- DUCKS! A: Irritable Vowel Syndrome.
  18. Q: We all see it! It's right there! Are we going to keep on trying to ignore it? A: When it's time to talk, talk. Don't shoot.
  19. Q: So there are significant tax advantages from hosting your servers in San Juan instead of Washington Heights? A: That's why you never hit "Accept All". It avoids errors like this, so perhaps you will remember that on your next job.
  20. "I can't believe I ate the whole thing." "You ate it, Ralph!" "Plop plop! Fizz, ffizz! Oh, what a relief it is!" "You asked for it!"
  21. Jeff Bezos is seeking credit for his cause of proving the world really doesn't need Superman anymore.
  22. Q: Now that you Six Characters are close to finding what you're looking for, what is this piece of memorabilia worth? A: We are all just things in the Red King's dream, and when he wakes up we're done for!
  23. "My shoes are too tight, and I have forgotten how to dance." "I don't understand." "Nor should you."
  24. Q: What did you do to your feet to make them all slashed and bloody like that? A: If you were the coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars, you'd do that too.
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