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Michael Hopcroft

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Everything posted by Michael Hopcroft

  1. That is devastating news. You don't expect a Portlander to say anything good about a Laker (the 2000 Conference Final is a sting that will never be forgotten). But Kobe bedeviled us constantly. He had a sweet shot, great toughness, and a genius-level basketball IQ. The only player who comes close to that game-smarts in Lebron James, and one of my regrets is that they never got to meet with everything on the line. He was a decidedly imperfect man, but man could he play basketball. Rest in Peace.
  2. The last survivor is taken off to be beheaded. NT: Reasons for tourists to visit the fictional Central Asian Republic of Gatchastan.
  3. That is a tragic loss. It is always disturbing to lose such significant parts of anyone's cultural heritage. I hope to high heaven this wasn't arson.
  4. I missed the Senior Bowl, where many of the top prospects got to display their talents in semi-game-like conditions (getting injured on the field during your audition is not a good way to start a career in pro football). Did anyone see it, and who impressed them?
  5. Harry is tossed out of the ring by Charles and William.
  6. Blackadder Goes Forth (1989) The four seasons of Blackadder are all very funny, but this final installment deserves special attention. Set on the Western Front in 1917, it tells the story of an infantry officer who is cursed to be the only sane man in the whole friggin' world. Unlike almost everyone around him, Captain Blackadder does not want to die. He sees the war as pointless, the cause he is fighting for vacuous, and his superiors utterly mad. Rowan Atkinson's comic gift is on full display, ut there is a sort of tragic grade to Blackadder. remarkably, in the final episode, when his efforts to avoid the "big push" fail, Blackadder does his "duty" in a beautifully tragic sequence that shows that, despite his efforts to survive the war, he is no coward. He knows the charge is suicide, yet goes anyway. Whether it is a moment of redemption or supreme folly is left to the viewer to decide.
  7. How do they compare, statistically and in terms of their impact on their teams, do guys already in Cooperstown?
  8. Q: How do you know your relationship with Barbra is on the rocks? A: Excuse me while I kiss this frog, and do several other things to him as well.
  9. In Space, Nobody can Hear You Explode. No, not even a small boom.
  10. Well, there is the death of Mr. Peanut, although that may be a decoy.
  11. As has been pointed out here on several occasions, the Longhorn logo bears a distrubing resemblance to something you see in high school Sex Ed classes...
  12. IIRC, none of the Pythons had much use for organized religion. For many, Life of Brian came close to destroying the intellectual underpinnings of Christianity itself, because if we know Brian was a false Messiah, do we have better evidence that Jesus was a true messiah. I wonder if this has anything to do with the UK becoming one of the most non-religious countries on Earth?
  13. Q: How's your plan to hold a J.J. Abrams festival at Redwood National Park going? A: Peelings. Nothing more than Peelings.
  14. N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. There's no way. You must agree that baby in all the time I been by your side, I've never lost control no matter how many times I knew you lied. Have my golden rule, Gotta keep my cool, yeah, baby. And even though you've had your fun, Running around with some pretty young thing, And even though you've had one son, With someone who don't own a wedding ring. No matter what I heard, I didn't say a word. No, baby. I've put up with your sh-- like every single day. But now it's time to shh, and listen when I say. You must think that I'm crazy, You wanna replace me, baby there's, N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. If you think for a moment, I'd grant you annulment, just hold up there's, N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. No way, No way, There's, N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. No way, Now way, There's, N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. There's no way. So you read a bible verse that I'm Cursed 'cause I was your brothers wife. You say it's a pity 'cause quoting Leviticus "I'll end up kidiless all my life" Well daddy weren't you there, when I gave birth to Mary? [Oh, hi baby] You're just so full of sh-- must think that I'm naive. I won't back down won't shh, and no! I'll never leave. You must think that I'm crazy, You wanna replace me, baby there's, N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. If you thought it'd be funny, to send me to a nunnery, honey, there's, Nooooo, way, No way, No way, There's, N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. No way, Now way, There's, N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. There's no way. You got me down on my knees please Tell me what you think I've done wrong. Been humble, been loyal, I've tried to swallow my pride all along. If you can just explain a single Thing I've done to cause you pain, I'll go. No? You've got nothing to say? I'm not going away. There's no way! You must think that I'm crazy, You wanna replace me, baby, there's, N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. You made me a wife, so I'll be queen till the end of my life. N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. No way, No way, N-N-N-Nup-Na-Nup-Na-Nup-Na No way, No way, There's, N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way, There's No way
  15. I will always remember him for two types: the nagging housewife and for the stereotypical businessman with no clue about the wider world. I think this was Terry: "Well I've been in the city for twenty-seven years and I would like to see the reintroduction of flogging. Every Thursday, round at my place." Terry was the character who asked why the sheep were trying to fly (and the incongruity of a city businessman walking through the countryside in a full suit wasn't even mentioned) and the man being harassed by the filthy-minded nudger. Being a good straight man is a gift few have mastered.
  16. There is now a reported case in Washington State, brought in on an international flight. Everybody. Panic. Now.
  17. Q: Do you want this bottle of Wild Turkey, or do you want me to cut off your eyes and nose? A: It seems the only way from here is a diagonal path of 18 degrees with a left turn at Albuquerque and a right at Pismo Beach.
  18. Q: Why can't I get this time machine to work, and when will it? A: In Seattle, Kraken releases You.
  19. George Formby was a British comedian/singer who flourished in the 30s and 40s. He was from the Music Hall tradition and spent World War II entertaining British troops and civilians. (He wanted to go into active service, but doctors found flimsy justifications to prove him medically unfit. It turned out all right, because he did a lot more for the war effort as a civilian.) While the reference to the Maginot Line is obviously dated, there are a lot of things in the song that are universal among soldiers to this day. The "tommoyrot" reference (tommyrot is British army slang for nonsense) refers to the propaganda the Nazis sent out to discourage enemy troops (a common tactic during the war of dubious effectiveness).
  20. The original soundtrack has to be better than the dub. I included two episodes of Ultraman from a bootleg of the dub (including one where they re-used what was then the Godzilla costume) in a convention MST3K event. My fsavorite riffs (hyes, I was allowed to riff) "He's made of lead-free pewter!" SOUNDTRACK: If the light goes out, Ultraman will never rise again! ME: Much to the disappointment of Mrs. Ultraman.
  21. Jim Rome said something very interesting on his Youtube channel today. He said he didn;t want to hear form people saying they will drop baseball or their team that was implicated -- because they won't. They never do. Come Opening Day, there will still be big crowds at Minute Maid Park and Fenway Park. I don't doubt that in the least. I also disagree with Max Kellerman that baseball is now irrelevant and only when a scandal breaks out do people talk about it. He seems to measure the popularity of a sport by how much time talking heads like himself find themselves discussing it on the air. By that standard, you might well forget that hockey even exists (maybe that's because ESPN doesn't have the national TV contract for the NHL).
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