BlackCobra

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I apologize in advance, but what can you do about undead puns, they keep getting back up. Yes, I was responsible for the last undead-related thread derailment, why do you ask? --- GM tells us about the monsters in front of us. Lord Tars OOC: so what you're telling us is that there's a dwarf and seven wights? --- GM: They going to be on her like wight on rice in a moment. --- And these are just a sampling from that pun-filled evening. Really, is there any monster, creature or NPC more pun-able than the wight?

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A quote from our plane-hopping D&D (3.5) campaign. The characters are seeking out an all-powerful archmage type who has disappeared. They find a fountain in the bathroom of one of his fortresses that grants a Wish spell once every century. They debate whether it's a good idea to use up his once a century wish. Osborne (OOC?): "Oh please, one wish every 100 years? He craps better magic than that!" In retrospect, the line was even funnier since we were in his bathroom...

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From before we even started playing, so no campaign to reference. Our group uses a fairly arcane, grown-over-time system of rules for voting on who will run in a particular evening. (Yeah, I know, we have that rare gaming group disease: Too Many GMs. It's rough, but we're suffering through it.) Someone (me?) suggests voting by pointing, rather than the time-honored secret paper ballot. Someone: "Ah, that's not kosher!" Me: "What, point of order, per Robert's Rules?" Someone else: "We don't use Robert's Rules of Order." jtelson: "We don't even use the Dread Pirate Robert's Rules of Order."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Big fight. Hero whacks the villain with a table from the restaurant: "Your table is ready, sir!"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... This quote of the week, from our Shackleborn City D&D game, brought to you in the form of a webcomic. The guy playing the bard in the group made a comic on the very quote I was going to post, and since it's SO much better than I had transcribed... http://comic.howansky.org/comic/being-the-bard (There's a small typo in the first panel. Where it says "drarven" it should be "dwarven".)

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Session of our dimension hopping D&D campaign: The samarai-ko Lady Min is grappled by a nasty demon. Her halfling companion comes up behind the demon and sneak-attacks him for a HUGE amount of damage. Lady Min OOC: "Say hello to my little friend!!" ----------------------------------------------- GM, referring to the same demon, who is being killed by the halfling rogue, OOC: "Nothing but goo!" (Which is like "Nothing but net", but with more demon-gore.)

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Finally back playing our Heracles Children: Heroes of Ancient Greece campaign! We're finally out of the jungles of Deepest Africa (modern day Lake Victoria to the Sudan) and in Lower Egypt (Nubia). We haven't played so long, poor Critias is having trouble remembering where he's prince of: Critias: "I'm Prince of ... " OOC: "Crap!" Aveula OOC: "Prince of Crap? You should probably call it Crappiér, it sounds better." ------------------------------------------- We're discussing various plans for getting our former Hyksos rebel fighters, now Myrmidons, out of Nubia and the ideas aren't flowing so well. Lydos (Me) OOC: "We're not so good when we're not in Greece."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From my [Evil d20 System Which Must Not Be Named] game last week. Marvin has acquired a new ability which lets him do a hilarious (for him) amount of damage in one strike. He is preparing to do battle versus a very large zombie-fied Ogre (the flesh kind, not the tank kind). Marvin OOC: "I totally Voltron him"* -------------- Neville tucks the two daggers he had out -- and had been hacking some zombies with in close quarters (!) hand-to-hand combat -- back into his boot-tops. Then he picks up his staff. Neville: "Gotta carry a staff. I'm a Wizard." * You must be THIS old to get that joke. Or be enormously Anime-proficient.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... More quotes from our "Fantasy Game Which Must Not Be Named": Our heroes are trying to deal with a large army of orcs, bugbears and minotaurs. The encampment is divided into sections or semi-circular bands: orc, bugbear and leaders (with the minotaurs). Osbourne OOC: "What's at the edge of the orc band?" Jessica OOC: "The orc mosh pit?" ------------------- Two of the very lawful players in the group are trying to figure out how to create a distraction so they can sneak out. It isn't going really well. Belleric OOC: "You're so lawful, you couldn't create choas in an orc camp!" ------------------- Jessica OOC:"It's bigger than a standard quasit, it's a walk-in quasit!"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Some more quotes from our "Fantasy Game Which Must Not Be Named": We're on the outskirts of a large orc army. We've already killed all the outermost scouts. Xan: "I wonder if they put out more scouts?" GM: "When they're incompetent, and come in large blocks, they're called patrols." Osbourne: "Ok, then we patrol towards the camp." ---- The orc army has a contingent of minotaur. We idly wonder if they have any sneaky scout types. Minotaur ninja? Crazy talk, we say. Belloric OOC: "But they get bonuses to MOOOoove silently." [The groaning may now commence.]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Quotes from our "Fantasy Game Which Must Not Be Named": Party is discussing whether we should rescue the NPC who's caught behind enemy lines. Belloric OOC: "We have to go save her! She's wearing 100's of thousands of gold pieces worth of party gear!" [NPC fighter-type ended up being given some VERY pricey weapons that no-one else in our very arcane-focused group wanted.] --- Players asks if the wizened goblin riding on the minotaur's shoulder is flat-footed. You know, no reason. Me OOC: "Quick, make your bluff check against the GM!" --- Xan (our Elven warrior princess with a little magic) casts glitterdust on the patch of Evard's Black Tentacles that demons just dissappeared from. GM: It's a disco hell. ---

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... More quotes from our Ancient Greek Heroes campaign: Herakles' Children. Current story arc? "Out of Africa" [Our heroes are attempting to return to Thebes after an accidental and non-consensual teleportation to deepest Africa.] A new character (Avel) introduces himself as the grandson of the South Wind. Critias: "You can have sex with the wind??" GM: "You had sex with the moon!" [Critias got it on with Luna, the Titan/goddess of the moon.] ---------- Critias: "Am I the only one who needs to eat or sleep?" Lydos (me), grumpily: "No, I have to eat and sleep, thank you very much!" Xander: "Apparently, Mr Grumpy needs to sleep right now." [dismissive hand gesture] ----------- Avel is making a smell perception roll, and someone mentions it's got to stink to high heaven, what with the Deep Ones decomposing on the beach (where we slew them as the exited the lake). The GM says that they completely dissolve away before the sun rises. Xander: "It's a dry stink." ------------ Callisto is seized by a giant beast (think Cthulhuian brontosaurus) using its mouth. She's in danger of the dreaded D&D-style "swallow whole". Xander: "And now you can find out if you can regenerate from poo!"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From our dimension-hopping fantasy game: Xan (elven princess): "I'm sorry, but I don't feel good about getting directions from I-don't-remember-who-I-am girl!"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From our dimension-wandering D&D campaign, currently in the Middle Kingdom (Asian-inspired fantasy world): OOC: "Because that's the name of this campaign, three hot chicks and Kan Shui." (All our front-line fighters are women.) We find out the Emperor is a 14-year-old boy. He's taken a shine to Xan, our Elven princess (and one of the fighters). We're imagining what's going on in his head: "Wow, a hot alien chick! I need to totally do her!"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Originally Posted by BlackCobra From my D&D Everybody Plays a Dragon campaign: After someone commented how the massive army of undead was no big deal: Tom (Warlock, brass dragon): "Hey, what about the 3 square miles of zombies!? They took me all night! No appreciates the little things." It's worse than you think. He was complaining because he spent all night taking out the giant army of zombies by using the Warlock invocation which creates a small field of writhing, bone-chillingly cold tentacles of darkness, which thrash around and squeeze things. Because he's a Warlock, and can create another field every round, he had to carpet the battlefield with them.