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Marcus Impudite

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About Marcus Impudite

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    Momo's beloved Captain
  • Birthday 10/26/1974

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  1. I was thinking much the same thing just now. Depending on how much of a brain-trust our Jane Doe was, she might've thought it would be a good idea to "shake and bake" some meth in there. Cooking hillbilly crack is a great way to blow yourself to kingdom come if you're careless.
  2. Fair enough, but that still leaves us with an exploded porta-potty and a thoroughly charred Jane Doe that require an explanation.
  3. If I had to hazard a guess, I think it's likely our Jane Doe decided to have a smoke while in there. Not a smart move, but no one ever said Florida-Woman was that much brighter than Florida-Man.
  4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLq5R8LcvnI When you gotta go, you gotta go...
  5. Q: What does it say in Facebook's TOS? A: And that's when I jumped out the second story window.
  6. The general idea is this: A planet in a remote star system to which a galaxy-spanning empire exiles criminals who they want to be rid of for good but for various reasons could not just be outright executed. After transmitting a security code, the transport enters the planet's atmosphere just long enough to shove prisoners out a back hatch with parachutes. New arrivals who survive the skydive from the upper atmosphere can expect to spend the rest of their lives here--how long that is my vary. It's not unheard of for chutes to fail and the unlucky to go spat when they hit the ground, "the first cut" as some call it. It's effectively a prison with out guards or a warden, the empire doesn't care what individuals exiled to this planet do as long as they never leave. Escape is but a pipe dream; even if someone manages to cobble together a craft that's even remotely space-worthy, one of the many Damocles-Class laser cannons that orbit the planet will shoot it out of the sky long before it achieves escape velocity.
  7. Q: What was that piece that came off the grenade when I pulled the pin? A: The three shops in every town you should never, ever try to rob: the gun shop, the pawn shop, and the donut shop.
  8. Q: What do you mean Papa Bear is having an affair? A: I told you she would never consciously betray the Rebellion.
  9. See here for Star Bright's write up. Your character and his/her associates have been working with the superheroine Star Bright (a.k.a., Starling Brighton) on and off again for a number of years. In that time, she has unlocked more of the hidden powers of the cosmic gemstone she wears around her neck. Then one day something unexpected happens: her gemstone suddenly begins to glow and make a strange humming noise. In a flash of blue light, a crystalline cocoon forms around her! Three days later, after numerous attempts to cut through the diamond-hard material failed, the cocoon begins to crack open. Star Bright emerges in her new form; she bears some resemblance to her original self, but her skin and hair are now light blue in color and she's perpetually surrounded by a bright blue aura. Without a word spoken and seemingly compelled strange new instincts, she then takes flight, achieves escape velocity, and makes a jump to light speed once she's out of Earth's atmosphere. WWYCD?
  10. Assuming he and the other gods exist in your universe... Someone broke into Eros's villa last night and stole several spare quivers of his signature Eros Arrows from one of his storerooms. Since sun up today, a group of as of yet unidentified individuals have been going around Campaign City shooting people with them seemingly at random, causing the targets to fall madly in love/lust with the next person they see after getting shot. Naturally, Eros himself has showed up to ask you and your associates to help him capture these miscreants and take back the stolen arrows. The details of who stole the Eros Arrows and for what purpose, I leave to you. WWYCD?
  11. Q: Did you hear Elmer Fudd went bankrupt from all the fines he's had to pay to the Fishing and Wildlife Department? A: And that's why we don't bring you on important missions anymore.
  12. Next time, pay attention during the mission briefing... If indeed there is a next time for you. :D
  13. Q: Last Jedi was dreadful, what was Disney/LucasFilm thinking? A: Transformers: He's The Fallen And He Can't Get Up
  14. Would it be cost effective to constantly have to replace ATMs that have been ripped to shreds by super-strong criminals?
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