Marcus Impudite

Dear Q.U.A.C.K., Q.U.A.R.K., and Q.U.I.R.K.: I'm a university student working towards degrees in computer science and robotics. I was recently hired to build some animatronics for a local pizzeria, Friendly Foxy's Pizza. I built a total of five characters, including the pizzeria's mascot, Felisha the Fox. They mostly just sang and danced on stage and entertained the kids... that is, until the incident. Apparently, Felisha jumped down off the stage one evening, menaced everyone in the dining room, and was about to attack an employee before the manager pressed the emergency shut off button. I brought Felisha to the university lab and did full diagnostics on her hardware and software. I found nothing that would account for what happened, but there was one thing that dumbfounded me. Someone appears to have vandalized the inside of Felisha's maintenance access panel: they drew, in what I assume is red marker, some weird looking symbol. It looked like something that might be drawn during an occult ritual. On a hunch, I checked the other animatronics and found that they too were vandalized in a similar manner. I've been on the internet, trying to find out what if anything that damned symbol is supposed to represent, but I haven't had much luck, any help would be appreciated. Sincerely, Charles

A while back, on the old boards (when I was but a lurker), someone posted a thread titled "Drunken, But Not A Master." IIRC, Wormhole and some of the others came up with a set of rules for drinking and drunkenness that were workable. I've been unable to find the old thread, not even using the Way Back Machine, sadly. Incidentally, the rules Wormhole and the others came up with on that thread had a lot in common with those Sean posted here.

As a rule, I avoid contact with the police whenever possible; and frankly, having to show them "respect" disgusts me. I'll fake it just to avoid trouble, but even then I'll immediately have to go somewhere and wash the taste of bile out of my mouth.

Frankly, I'm shocked that people that dumb don't drown in the shower or die in ball polisher accidents at the bowling alley.

If the law enforcement agencies in this country were trying to kill what little good will there was left between them and the public...well congratulations, mission f@$%ing accomplished!

Basically, a scale of 0 to 10. The low end (the 0s) would be those who are so dreadfully incompetent that they are scarcely fit to be "mall cops." The mid-point of the scale (roughly the 4s and 5s) would be those who are skilled enough to find employment with local banks and armored car companies. Last but certainly not least, the high end of the scale (the 10s) would be the elite security agents that only the wealthiest individuals and organizations could afford to have on payroll. Based on the above, about where do the security guards your characters usually encounter fall on the scale?

As is often with meth addicts, they both look like death warmed over.

If it's a Djinn like in Wishmaster, than I shall wish my fellow demon happy hunting...

I vote eliminated. No Knocks are a disaster waiting to happen regardless of any supposed "accountability," and that much assumes they actually make sure they're raiding the right house; most of these numbskulls can't even be bothered with that.

Cops lie their @$$es off all the damn time, take anything they say with a grain--no, strike that--a 50 billion ton rock of salt.

One of "New York's Finest" (sarcasm quotes) broke up a snowball fight at gunpoint. Yes, you heard me right. a cop pulled his gun on teens having a f@#$ing snowball fight. Really? Gee, back when I was demonling me and my friends got in a lot of snowball fights during the winter, who knew we were such a menace to society...

In games where characters are tossing around powerful attacks, it's far from inconceivable that someone's going to bring the house down... quite literally. How many GMs out there have had situations in their campaign worlds where a stray Energy Blast or the like during a battle has done sufficient damage to build's load-bearing walls/structures that there was a real danger of (partial or full) collapse? And how did you handle it in game?

As a matter of fact, that's exactly who I was talking about.

Okay, let me get this straight: An off duty cop, not even in uniform no less, assaults and batters an innocent person for no good reason and is not currently languishing in a jail cell?! I realize this is New York Sh*tty we're talking about, but Whiskey Tango Foxtrot just the same.

Dear Q.U.A.C.K., Q.U.A.R.K., and Q.U.I.R.K.: I'm the head research scientist at a secret exobiology lab located in [REDACTED], [REDACTED]. We've recently acquired a new research subject: an amorphous blob of purple goop that fell to Earth inside a [REDACTED]. We at first thought it was just a mindless bit of goo until one of our laboratory assistants, Helena, stated playing with it. She somehow got it to do shape-shifting tricks by offering it M&Ms as treats; and it responded to her in general as affectionately and playfully as a puppy. Then there was an incident in which the container in which we kept the creature fell on the floor a broke. It immediately went right for Helena and enveloped her head to toe with only her face uncovered. At first we were worried that the creature was attempting to digest her, but scans indicated that this was not the case. If I had to conjecture based on her facial expressions and the sounds she was making, whatever the creature was doing to Helena at the time must have been really...*ahem* pleasurable. After about thirty minutes, it released her and we got it back into containment. Helena went to the infirmary where the doctor found no indications that she had been harmed or altered in way, so she returned to her normal duties. About a week later, she entered the lab without authorization and absconded with the creature; container and all. Since then, we've been unable to locate her or the research specimen she stole. Any help you can give us in finding them would be appreciated. Sincerely, Dr. [REDACTED]

So in Star Trek, they say the greatest strength the Borg possess is that they don't have leaders; that decisions are made by the Collective (the later introduced Borg Queen bullcrap not withstanding). While it's true that individual leaders can indeed make mistakes (and I'll go as far as to say pretty much every 21st century head of state on this ball of mud has thus far demonstrated that they have manure for brains), collectives aren't quite so infallible either. Enter the concept of Groupthink. Cliff Notes for those unfamiliar with the concept: It's when a group of people, for the sake unity and harmony, make some really sh*tty decisions that end in tears. Unless the Borg Collective has someone among them who serves as "Devil's Advocate(s)" (I find that doubtful), I'd imagine that Groupthink would end up being a very big problem for them with how they view individuality. Anyone here see things similarly? Differently? Discuss below.

Went through my library of 5th Ed Champions books, took a look at the write-ups of the published female characters therein, and after crunching the numbers and doing some rolls on a dice roller program, I can confidently say Byron and his *ahem* "special abilities" would wreak quite a bit of havoc if he was turned loose in the 5th Ed Champions universe. Can't really speak for the 6th Ed universe, but if anyone cares to do the number crunches for that, I'd be curious to seeing the results.

Exactly.

Considering that this is the same state that gave us such pieces of sh*t as Daniel Harless and the rest of the Canton PD, color me not surprised.

Why am I not surprised that these were LAPD officers?

Considering how many Cop (piss)ants claim they were "in fear for their lives" from a chihuahua or a person in a wheelchair, that's not saying much.

Are we talking about an average Joe or Jane human catching and killing a fly with their bare hands? I could see that if you've got trained reflexes like Keisuke Miyagi or Daniel-San, but an average human? Nope. There's a reason humans invent things like flyswatters, bug lamps, and Raid.

Half baked? The arrogant prick said it all on f*cking camera. He's chomping at the bit to murder some Constitutionalists in that thing. If you can't see that, there's no point in further discussion with you.

You want to give that blood-thirsty knuckledragger the "benefit of the doubt" go right ahead. He has scumbag written all over him from my perspective, however.

Spokane Sheriff's Department deputy says MRAPs are for going after Constitutionalists, Preppers, and people "stockpiling" guns: Whatever your opinion may be of Alex Jones and Infowars, the fact remains that they caught this moron on camera saying all this, and it is a reflection on the kind of "training" these goosestepping pinheads are getting.