Basil

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
I came across this while cleaning up some older posts on the Savage Earth forums. The subject is online dice rollers.
 
Dice Roller Help Text: xdy will roll x number of y-sided dice. X can be any decimal value (greater than 0). Y is any positive integer.
 
Player: What's an integer? Is that a car?
 
GM:The integer is a predatory mutant creature that stalks trade caravans. It will force the accountant in the party to tally up their books. If there is a discrepency, it will devour the perpetrator. This is the friendlier "positive" integer. "Negative" integers don't bother with social niceties and just subtract members of the caravan until sated, at which point they become positive.
The most feared integer is the "rooted" integer. Rooted integers will stay in one place and wait for their prey to come to them. "Square-rooted" integers have nine-inch fangs and vicious claws, armor-like hide, and shoot laser beams from their eyes. They are rarely a problem since they are pretty beneficent, or positive. Fortunately for unwary travellers, square-rooted negative integers are purely imaginary.
 
Keith "i" Curtis

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Once in a great while, a player almost unwittingly utters a line that suspends all gaming activity for a noticeable amount of time. Thus do I present unto this forum....
....Tomorrow Boy: The Defenders' uber-genius teenage gadgeteer from the future with a penchant for accidentally dropping references to future events.
 
The group was investigating a crime scene when Foxbat (who is convinced that The Defenders have shown him the error of his ways and is striving to prove he's now a hero and worthy of joining the team) interrupted them in an attempt to "help." Having already determine which direction the criminals had fled by using his high-tech gadgetry, Tomorrow Boy points the overeager Foxbat in the wrong direction.
 
Tomorrow Boy - You might be able to help us after all, Bats. Looks like whoever did this went THAT way! *points* We still have some wrap-up work to do, but if YOU hurry, you might catch 'em!
 
Foxbat - Ah ha! Evil doers beware! *he ascends to his Foxbatcopter and heads off.*
 
Nighthawk - Nice work dealing with that lunatic, TB.
 
Tomorrow Boy - Eh, no problem. Still.... hard to believe that guy actually becomes President.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From our Firefly campaign:
 
"Moving on from the orgasming slinky..."
 
 
(The ship was just joined by a psychic/mentally damaged teen (like River). He liked slinkys, which led to jokes about him using his brain to make a slinky sentient and using it as a familiar. One of the players then began his vocal impression of the tremendous joy a sentient slinky would feel while going down stairs...)

Re: Answers & Questions
 

Q: I say ! Where's King James ?
(Brit History Joke)
 
A: I'm not afraid, ok ?

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From the inaugural Pulp Hero game:
 
"I'm certain there's a perfectly logical, rational, scientific explanation for this. However, that doesn't mean it doesn't scare the (urine) out of me, so I'm running away now."
 
-------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Nightsky (former WWI Pilot): "I knew a lot of lieutenants in the service who needed a pole-up-the-butt-ectomy. I just need to get you up in the plane, and we'll get it out of you."
Edward "Surname stolen from Keith" Curtis: "If by 'it', you mean my urine, I'm certain that shall be the case."
Nightsky: "So long as we're upside down, that works for me."
 
----------------------------------------------------------------------
 
"We're evil Satanic supervillains, we've got to think big! WE MUST SACRIFICE THE VIRGIN ISLANDS!"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
GURPS Teen Supers: The whole Natural Sciences class has had an Origin Event while on a field trip. 36 hours later, the PCs and their immediate clique are still trying to keep a lid on things. Among the NPCs is Greta, who in the first 6 hours physically transformed from a bookish 5'3" girl who didn't need a training bra yet to a 6'4" cadillac-chucking valkyrie. The boys have all noticed that her figure has achieved comicbook proportions, especially the PC brick, Derek.
 
Derek: "Greta's gonna present a problem..."
[his hands begin moving up his torso in a cupping gesture]
"...'cause she's got tremendous..."
[hands continue smoothly up over his head as if to mark a height]
"...height advantage!"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Another one, this time from a little while back.
 
We were playing a Space Opera setting campaign. The GM had created the setting himself, and it was, overall, based equally on Original Series Trek and Babylon 5.
 
Our characters were all somehow involved in the marriage of a Princess of one stellar nation to the Prince of another. These star nations had been at war for a very long time, and hated each other on "general principal", but were trying to rise above it and create peace.
 
The Princess was a PC, the Prince an NPC. All the other PC's were in the Princess' retinue, including her bodyguard (me), and the captain of the flagship.
 
The Prince and his entourage arrive aboard our ship, and all they do is make snide comments and complain. The Prince, especially, is extremely vocal in how unimpressed he is with our Navy and its vessels.
 
The most memorable exchange came during the wedding reception. The Princess was standing with the Prince, as the new bride and groom, and there were dignitaries and officials, as well as bodyguards, milling about.
 
"Well," said the Prince," that ceremony was...adequate, I suppose. Not as sumptuous or grand as the ceremonies we have back home. But I suppose that would be because of the cramped accomodations aboard this small little starship."
 
"But Milord," the ship's captain protested," this is the largest starship in the Astarri Star Navy. It is the flagship of the fleet!"
 
The Prince looked down his nose at the Admiral. "How...unfortunate, that your entire star navy should be crowned by something so small and unimpressive."
 
At which point the Princess smirked and interjected," It is my fervent hope that your government has not supplied me with anything with which I would have a similar complaint."
 

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Hydro-Electric, who is made of water, has just been hit very hard and she's collapsed into a puddle.
 
Silhouette to GM: “Is the puddle moving?â€
 
Techno Grrl (OOC): “That sounds like spy talk. 'Is the puddle moving? The giraffe walks at midnight'â€

Re: "Neat" Pictures
 
A very beautiful ship model . . . I'm thinking of doing a write-up of the original - a xebec - but I think the Small version of the Frigate in the Vehicle Sourcebook would cover it adequately.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Fantasy (D&D) game. We free this god of strength who was chained up (how he got there is a mystery we don't have the time or inclination to follow up on) and he grants us choices of various strength-related boons for freeing him.
 
Cleric's player: "Maybe next we can rescue the god of wisdom."
 
GM: "The god of wisdom knows not to get chained up."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
"Did they even *have* ninjas on the isle of Lesbos?"
"That would be the. Hottest. Thing. Ever."

Yes, I'm almost serious. Some of you may know Bruce McCall, an artist who appeared in many many magazines over the last 40 or so years. He makes some wonderfully whimsical pieces and I thought I'd share a few with you. Specifically, these would be of tremendous aid to anyone doing a Pulp/Anime style of game with large monstrous ridiculous vehicles.
 
I'll put each pic/description in it's own post, as otherwise, this will be one long sucker, and if it hoses halfway through, I don't want to have to retype it all again.
 
Okay, away we go.
 
The Caproni-Maroni C2 "Scud", sometimes called "The Instant Reversing Fighter" was a design anomaly. The sleek pusher/puller prop design was fast and strangely manueverable with the addition of the centerline ailerons. But its main claim to fame was the ability to reverse thrust at a moments notice (comparitively) and zoom off in another direction entirely. The designers did not wish to ruin the lines of their creation with any unsightly guns, so this unique ability proved more useful than might be thought.
 

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From Kittyhawk (a demi-vampire with water-controlling powers): "I'm just a flying wet brick with a Jedi mind trick!"

Re: Answers & Questions
 

Q: So if we cross the wires we should get a spark, and then we'll be able to .... what are you staring at?
 
A: They are trying to run.

Re: Answers & Questions
 

Q: Well, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Tell me, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
'Cause I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
 
 
A: It was the order for three socks that gave it away.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
"Okay, that's it...we're going to need a bigger dragon."
 
 
-----
 
 
"Hey...just because I haven't died, then been brought back by some kind of lizard shaman and gotten superpowers as a result, doesn't mean my life isn't complicated!"
 
 
-----
 
 
"Okay, I'm going to change forms to Hathor, wearing a FedEx uniform...as no FedEx uniform has ever been worn before!"
 
 
-----
 
"And thus the main guns of the battleship Missouri are used to shoot down a mosquito."
 
(referring to Hathor turning the full force of her attentions on a mere mortal.)
 
 
-----
 
 
Dr. Anomaly's sister, Rebecca: "Come in and sit down, Solomon...or should I say, 'Dr. Anomaly'?"
 
Dr. Anomaly: (stunned silence, followed by) "How...when...how long have you known? How did you find out?"
 
Rebecca: "I've only known for a few minutes; I never had cause to probe your mind before, and never suspected my brother was more than the flake the popular press thinks he is. In hindsight, of course, it should have been obvious."
 
Dr. Anomaly: "Waitaminute...my sister is a metanormal? Rebecca, when did this happen?!?"
 
 
-----
 
 
Rebecca: "Honestly, Solomon, at this point, I think we should move any further discussion to my laboratory/HQ." (She flips a concealed switch and a bookcase slides aside, revealing a hidden staircase leading downward. A faint hum of some kind of esoteric power generator can be heard from below.)
 
Kathleen: "Solomon, why doesn't our base have a secret laboratory like this?"
 
Solomon: "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to try and remodel an indestructible, invulnerable building?"

Re: Answers & Questions
 

Q. Hey Basil, what do you think about the full page centrefold of you naked covered in ice cream ?
 
A. I don't believe you. Just open the door.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 

Well, I certainly would have guessed that!

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
There were a lot of ones from various games this weekend; some of them were a bit...risque, and I'll try to make sure they can make it past the censors.
 
 
Champions Game
 
"And the geek shall inherit the Earth."
 
 
-----
 
 
"Yeah, he's really an anomaly wrapped in an enigma."
 
"Uhm...considering I saw Dr. Anomaly and Enigma coming out of the same bedroom this morning before breakfast, you might want to think about choosing a different turn of phrase for that problem..."
 
 
Teen Champions
 
"I didn't fall over because I have a very low center of gravity."
 
"You do? How low?"
 
"The center of the Earth."
 
 
-----
 
 
"Wait a minute! You're a Buddist monk...who knows about baseball?!?"
 
 
Dark Conspiricy-esque Game
 
Travis: "Somehow, I never thought that planning out my wedding would end up including deciding on what kinds of tortures myself and my bride would be performing on each other for the audience of wedding guests."
 
Dan: "Travis, there's a reason most would refer to your fiance's people as dark elves..."
 
 
-----
 
 
Travis: "Dan, considering I'm the one who just zinged Terry, would you please explain to me how I came out on the losing end of that conversation?"
 
Terry: "It's simple...I'm a woman, which means I have t*ts."
 
Travis: "Well, I'm a man, which means that I have..."
 
Dan: "Travis, unlike poker, this is a game where a Pair beats an Ace High Straight."
 
 
-----
 
 
"Who would have guessed that a being capable of assuming any shape imaginable would turn out to be a sex fiend?"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From out first Pulp Hero session last night:
 
"I have Physical Limitation: Unconscious and tied to the back of an elephant."
 
"And they have those knives with the wavy blades, the ones that give you +5 to a Presence Attack."
 
"You never know when a book might eat you.'
 
To the British archaeologist: "You're standing in a bloody pentagram."
Response: "Bloody hell!"
 
"Do you go around the elephant?"
"He had two swords. He can go through the elephant!"

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

My girlfriend's head on the headboard.
 
Or was that too much information...?

Re: Storn's Art & Characters thread.
 
As threatened.... Here is another off kilter commission from my longtime patron, Death Kibble. It is Ptera Don!
 

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

 
"Help me, Mary-Sue Kenobi, you're my only hope."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 
Rimmer from Red Dwarf