Samuraiko

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
"You don't entangle a mentalist. Why? Because they can still look at you...and their eyes glow, and then you think you're a turnip."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From Saturday's Champions game (this was TOTALLY unplanned between me and Shane, but it just WORKED):
 
Whisper: "Want to go beat up on each other in the Danger Room? Straight up martial-arts, no magic, no mental abilities."
Midnight: "You're going to hand me my a**. On the other hand, if we were playing chess, I could probably hand you yours."
Whisper: "I play chess, too."
Midnight: "And I suppose you have a perfect memory too!"
Whisper: "As it happens, yes."
*pause*
Midnight: "Call out moves?"
Whisper: "As we fight?"
Midnight: "Three seconds per chess move?"
Whisper: "You're on."
Midnight: *with a gleam in her eyes* "Touchstone, keep track of the moves we call out as we spar."
Touchstone: "Wha-?"
 
Off go Whisper and Midnight to the Danger Room with Touchstone. Vice (the base computer) pulls up a dojo (and a chessboard for Touchstone to use to keep track), and the two ninja start slugging it out, calling out chess moves.
 
(Both Shane and I actually started reciting chess moves - no idea if we were playing legit games, but it sounded good. The GM actually tells everyone else to shut up so he can watch this... I roll Midnight, Shane rolls Whisper... and Shane rolls something like an 11 on a Tactics 15- roll. I roll a 4.)
 
GM: "Midnight beats you in 12 moves."
Shane: "Wha-?"
 
Michelle
aka
Samuraiko

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From Saturday's Champions game (this was TOTALLY unplanned between me and Shane, but it just WORKED):
 
Whisper: "Want to go beat up on each other in the Danger Room? Straight up martial-arts, no magic, no mental abilities."
Midnight: "You're going to hand me my a**. On the other hand, if we were playing chess, I could probably hand you yours."
Whisper: "I play chess, too."
Midnight: "And I suppose you have a perfect memory too!"
Whisper: "As it happens, yes."
*pause*
Midnight: "Call out moves?"
Whisper: "As we fight?"
Midnight: "Three seconds per chess move?"
Whisper: "You're on."
Midnight: *with a gleam in her eyes* "Touchstone, keep track of the moves we call out as we spar."
Touchstone: "Wha-?"
 
Off go Whisper and Midnight to the Danger Room with Touchstone. Vice (the base computer) pulls up a dojo (and a chessboard for Touchstone to use to keep track), and the two ninja start slugging it out, calling out chess moves.
 
(Both Shane and I actually started reciting chess moves - no idea if we were playing legit games, but it sounded good. The GM actually tells everyone else to shut up so he can watch this... I roll Midnight, Shane rolls Whisper... and Shane rolls something like an 11 on a Tactics 15- roll. I roll a 4.)
 
GM: "Midnight beats you in 12 moves."
Shane: "Wha-?"
 
Michelle
aka
Samuraiko

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
A few from last night's 7th Sea game:
 
(Aleksi the gypsy, the group Casanova, had been left behind in town to track down the nephew of the man we were helping while the rest of the party went to fight an 8-foot-long killer wolf in the forest. Having no idea how to get around Freiburg, he decides to ask directions... from the loveliest women in town. Needless to say, he didn't get far.)
Aleksi (defending himself to Stefano): "Do you have any idea how hard it is to find someone in this town? I mean, there was Rachel... and Brianna... and Michelle... but do you have any idea how hard it is to find a GUY in this town?!"
 
(on why medieval graveyards are outside the city walls)
Stefano: "You don't bury the dead with the living."
Thora: "So where do you bury the living?"
 
(Cael the Avalon archer has taken our enormous wolf kill to the Explorers' Society. Stefano has told him to get money for the wolf, but he has no idea how much it's worth...)
Cael: "You see those ropes typing the wolf to the horse? Those are some very expensive ropes..."
 
Ghost Raven (OCC): "Horses do not commit hate crimes."
 
Manfred: "Avalon, the land of the cute and fuzzy monster."
 
Stefano (to the now-26-up-from-6 members of the Town Guard who are escorting them to the nephew's house after the PCs decide to push them a bit): "So you don't get medals, you don't get promotions, you don't get trophies... how DO you know which guardsmen are the best?"
Leader of the group: "They're still alive."
 
(Thora has had enough of the men in the group picking a fight with the Town Guardsmen and finally turns to the one member of the guard who has not told the PCs to shut up or summoned help from another group of Guardsmen)
Thora: "You know... I'm not really with them. And if you want to rough them up, go right ahead."
 
(on Aleksi failing to find the nephew, and the Town Guard arriving the following day to "convince" the PCs to come along to the nephew's house under armed guard after the death of his uncle through no fault of ours)
Manfred to Aleksi: "Just remember, it's not your fault we're here... it's your fault we're here under these conditions."
 
Manfred: "We don't charge the dead for our services."
Thora: "We don't charge the living, either."
Manfred: "Yes, we do, we charge them up the a**!
*points to the nephew*
Manfred: "But we weren't doing it for him!"
 
(on whether they are going to accept the nephew's offer for a VERY well paying job)
Eric Karstein: "So are you all... amenable to my offer?"
Aleksi: "We are not at each other's throats, and for our own reasons, we have not yet declined your offer."
 
(on the group's acceptance)
Stefano (referring to the guards' arrival at the inn earlier that morning): "I believe you already know where we are staying?"
Manfred (referring to the fact that Cael has constantly been comparing things to "the way they are in Avalon"): "Yes, we are currently at the 'not-good-enough-for-the-Avalon' inn."
 
Michelle
aka
Samuraiko

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From last night's Dark Guardians' Champions game...
 
GM: "Okay, recap from last time. Midnight and Shade are stuck in a room with a bunch of Satanists who are pumping poison gas into the room and neither one can teleport out. Well, actually, Midnight can't teleport out because of the magic, and Shade can't teleport out because she's unconscious on the floor with some guy's face in her cleavage."
 
(on Qurria'al and Touchstone getting ready to take an elevator down into a Satanists' pit)
GM: *points to Qurria'al* "Okay, he's taking the handbasket to hell..."
*then points to Touchstone, who's going to wait for Qur'rial to get there and then teleport down*
GM: "And he's waiting for the express trip."
 
(Midnight and Shade are still trapped, and the other PCs are outside trying to get in past the mooks on guard and the sealed door)
Whisper: "No problem, I'm a ninja! I'll just take a flying leap and kick the door down!"
(not so hot roll later...)
GM to Midnight: "You hear a faint thud on the other side of the door..."
 
(Midnight has just dived down the hole after the escaping Satanist head honcho, and lands in his office just as he's got out a big, ugly staff that is about to release some really nasty spell)
GM: "Okay, he's about to clobber you, because he's chanting. And not like his mooks were doing, that whole-"
*affects a deep, melodramatic voice*
GM: "We are chanting because it sounds impressive, and you know we're summoning something terrible!" kind of chanting..."
*drops his voice back to normal*
GM: "This is much quieter, and much faster, and it's aimed at you."
Michelle: "What the hell is he going to aim at? I'm invisible to Sight, Mental, Danger Sense, Combat Sense, Spatial Awareness, how the hell is he going to even know I'm there?"
GM: "Well, the door opening when you fell through it would be his first clue, and the sound of you hitting the hard wooden highbacked chair of his on impact would be the second."
Michelle (IC): "Oh, f***ing hell." *just as the spell goes off*
 
(on the head honcho escaping, and Whisper not quite being fast enough to follow Midnight as she leaps after him)
Whisper: "I missed it?! I was right there!"
*turns to the mook that he bodyslammed into the floor and starts kicking him*
Whisper: "THAT'S FOR DISTRACTING ME, DAMN IT!"
 
(Midnight on surviving playing catch with the spell equivalent of a frag grenade)
Midnight: "I didn't die. That's a bonus!"
 
(Michelle takes a wild guess about where the Satanist's safe is - and guesses correctly that it's in the potted plant rather than behind the portrait on the wall, and promptly digs it up)
Midnight: "Can any of you open this thing?"
GM: "You're telling me that with all your stealth skills, you never learned how to crack a safe?"
Midnight: "I'm a professional gambler, I'm using to WINNING money, not stealing it."
 
(Whisper makes a knockout roll and gets the safe open, at which point Midnight takes all the money out of it - about $100k - and heads for the casino floor)
Touchstone: "Midnight, I'm shocked! You're not planning on gambling with that, are you?"
Midnight: "Of course not!"
*Midnight takes a quick moment to clean up then strolls out on the casino floor with a winning smile and starts handing out hundred dollar bills to each of the casino patrons*
Midnight: "Compliments of the manager, Thomas Davidson, as the casino will now be closing. Permanently."
 
(on Midnight playing catch with the spell-equivalent of a frag grenade and looking it)
Whisper to Midnight: "Follow some lady to the bathroom, knock her out, take her clothes, then go back out onto the casino floor. That's what any real superhero would do!"
 
Touchstone: "So what should we do with the safe?"
Midnight: "Leave it on Primus' doorstep and let the cops figure it out."
 
(on what everyone's doing in the casino)
GM: *to Touchstone* "You've found a printing press..."
*points to Midnight*
GM: "You're handing out a bunch of money..."
*points to Qurria'al*
GM: "And you've found a bunch of cops."
 
(after we've nearly wrecked the casino dealing with the Satanists)
Vice (the base computer) calls Touchstone over the radio: "Captain Touchstone, police reports of a disturbance at the casino."
Midnight *overhearing the conversation*: "We ARE the disturbance, Vice..."
Touchstone: "... but thanks for letting us know."
 
(on the counterfeit money we found)
John (OOC): "Imagine the anti-counterfeit measures in Champions, like you press on the president's face and it says something like, 'This is not an unfake bill.'"
RC: "Only if the president in Champions is Bush."
John: "Actually, if it were Bush, when you put your thumb over his face and press, it'd say something like 'Mmmfph mmmpb mmmh mmmpfb.'"
 
(on Qurria'al terrorizing the cops outside)
Touchstone: "Oh, all right, I'll go outside and see what the problem is."
*Touchstone wanders outside and finds the cops cringing in terror from the seven-foot half-demon, who's looking rather bemused by the whole thing*
Cops: "Oh! Touchstone! Thank God! Could you please take that... that... that someplace else? And maybe find a leash or something?"
 
Michelle
aka
Samuraiko

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From last night's Dark Guardians' Champions game...
 
GM: "Okay, recap from last time. Midnight and Shade are stuck in a room with a bunch of Satanists who are pumping poison gas into the room and neither one can teleport out. Well, actually, Midnight can't teleport out because of the magic, and Shade can't teleport out because she's unconscious on the floor with some guy's face in her cleavage."
 
(on Qurria'al and Touchstone getting ready to take an elevator down into a Satanists' pit)
GM: *points to Qurria'al* "Okay, he's taking the handbasket to hell..."
*then points to Touchstone, who's going to wait for Qur'rial to get there and then teleport down*
GM: "And he's waiting for the express trip."
 
(Midnight and Shade are still trapped, and the other PCs are outside trying to get in past the mooks on guard and the sealed door)
Whisper: "No problem, I'm a ninja! I'll just take a flying leap and kick the door down!"
(not so hot roll later...)
GM to Midnight: "You hear a faint thud on the other side of the door..."
 
(Midnight has just dived down the hole after the escaping Satanist head honcho, and lands in his office just as he's got out a big, ugly staff that is about to release some really nasty spell)
GM: "Okay, he's about to clobber you, because he's chanting. And not like his mooks were doing, that whole-"
*affects a deep, melodramatic voice*
GM: "We are chanting because it sounds impressive, and you know we're summoning something terrible!" kind of chanting..."
*drops his voice back to normal*
GM: "This is much quieter, and much faster, and it's aimed at you."
Michelle: "What the hell is he going to aim at? I'm invisible to Sight, Mental, Danger Sense, Combat Sense, Spatial Awareness, how the hell is he going to even know I'm there?"
GM: "Well, the door opening when you fell through it would be his first clue, and the sound of you hitting the hard wooden highbacked chair of his on impact would be the second."
Michelle (IC): "Oh, f***ing hell." *just as the spell goes off*
 
(on the head honcho escaping, and Whisper not quite being fast enough to follow Midnight as she leaps after him)
Whisper: "I missed it?! I was right there!"
*turns to the mook that he bodyslammed into the floor and starts kicking him*
Whisper: "THAT'S FOR DISTRACTING ME, DAMN IT!"
 
(Midnight on surviving playing catch with the spell equivalent of a frag grenade)
Midnight: "I didn't die. That's a bonus!"
 
(Michelle takes a wild guess about where the Satanist's safe is - and guesses correctly that it's in the potted plant rather than behind the portrait on the wall, and promptly digs it up)
Midnight: "Can any of you open this thing?"
GM: "You're telling me that with all your stealth skills, you never learned how to crack a safe?"
Midnight: "I'm a professional gambler, I'm using to WINNING money, not stealing it."
 
(Whisper makes a knockout roll and gets the safe open, at which point Midnight takes all the money out of it - about $100k - and heads for the casino floor)
Touchstone: "Midnight, I'm shocked! You're not planning on gambling with that, are you?"
Midnight: "Of course not!"
*Midnight takes a quick moment to clean up then strolls out on the casino floor with a winning smile and starts handing out hundred dollar bills to each of the casino patrons*
Midnight: "Compliments of the manager, Thomas Davidson, as the casino will now be closing. Permanently."
 
(on Midnight playing catch with the spell-equivalent of a frag grenade and looking it)
Whisper to Midnight: "Follow some lady to the bathroom, knock her out, take her clothes, then go back out onto the casino floor. That's what any real superhero would do!"
 
Touchstone: "So what should we do with the safe?"
Midnight: "Leave it on Primus' doorstep and let the cops figure it out."
 
(on what everyone's doing in the casino)
GM: *to Touchstone* "You've found a printing press..."
*points to Midnight*
GM: "You're handing out a bunch of money..."
*points to Qurria'al*
GM: "And you've found a bunch of cops."
 
(after we've nearly wrecked the casino dealing with the Satanists)
Vice (the base computer) calls Touchstone over the radio: "Captain Touchstone, police reports of a disturbance at the casino."
Midnight *overhearing the conversation*: "We ARE the disturbance, Vice..."
Touchstone: "... but thanks for letting us know."
 
(on the counterfeit money we found)
John (OOC): "Imagine the anti-counterfeit measures in Champions, like you press on the president's face and it says something like, 'This is not an unfake bill.'"
RC: "Only if the president in Champions is Bush."
John: "Actually, if it were Bush, when you put your thumb over his face and press, it'd say something like 'Mmmfph mmmpb mmmh mmmpfb.'"
 
(on Qurria'al terrorizing the cops outside)
Touchstone: "Oh, all right, I'll go outside and see what the problem is."
*Touchstone wanders outside and finds the cops cringing in terror from the seven-foot half-demon, who's looking rather bemused by the whole thing*
Cops: "Oh! Touchstone! Thank God! Could you please take that... that... that someplace else? And maybe find a leash or something?"
 
Michelle
aka
Samuraiko

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Quotes from tonight's 7th Sea campaign:
 
*the Ussuran shapeshifter, while wandering lost in Freiburg, decides to ask a passing lovely for directions... and ends up seducing her*
Stefano the Vodacce: "Wear a sock."
 
*the Avalon archer botches an archery roll*
Cael: "I shot an arrow into the air... it fell to earth way over there."
 
*Stefano later goes charging after several other party members to warn them about a 8-foot-long wolf that is in the woods they are riding toward... Cael the Avalon archer tells him that the wolf is most likely dead and there is no cause for concern*
Stefano: "If I didn't show up to tell you about the wolf, he [referring to the Ussuran] would be having the time of his life, I'd be trying to have the time of my life, and she-"
*points to the Vesten Rune Mage, who is the group innocent*
"-would be eating soup."
 
*Manfred the Eisen swordsman sees the other party members getting mauled by the wolf and heroically charges in*
Manfred: "I'm Eisen, and there's one thing we Eisen excel at!"
GM *with a perfectly straight face*: "Dying."
 
*Stefano and Thora the Rune Mage are at the Explorers' Society with Aleksi the Ussuran, who being profoundly bored as there are no hot women there, picks up three items at random and starts juggling*
Stefano: "Put... those... down... I don't HAVE that much money."
Thora (to the aghast looking Explorers): "I don't really know him."
 
*the Eisen swordsman/scholar watches Aleksi the gypsy juggling in the streets for money*
Manfred: "How do you learn to juggle out in the middle of nowhere? Do you practice on squirrels or something?"
 
Michelle
aka
Samuraiko

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Quotes from tonight's 7th Sea campaign:
 
*the Ussuran shapeshifter, while wandering lost in Freiburg, decides to ask a passing lovely for directions... and ends up seducing her*
Stefano the Vodacce: "Wear a sock."
 
*the Avalon archer botches an archery roll*
Cael: "I shot an arrow into the air... it fell to earth way over there."
 
*Stefano later goes charging after several other party members to warn them about a 8-foot-long wolf that is in the woods they are riding toward... Cael the Avalon archer tells him that the wolf is most likely dead and there is no cause for concern*
Stefano: "If I didn't show up to tell you about the wolf, he [referring to the Ussuran] would be having the time of his life, I'd be trying to have the time of my life, and she-"
*points to the Vesten Rune Mage, who is the group innocent*
"-would be eating soup."
 
*Manfred the Eisen swordsman sees the other party members getting mauled by the wolf and heroically charges in*
Manfred: "I'm Eisen, and there's one thing we Eisen excel at!"
GM *with a perfectly straight face*: "Dying."
 
*Stefano and Thora the Rune Mage are at the Explorers' Society with Aleksi the Ussuran, who being profoundly bored as there are no hot women there, picks up three items at random and starts juggling*
Stefano: "Put... those... down... I don't HAVE that much money."
Thora (to the aghast looking Explorers): "I don't really know him."
 
*the Eisen swordsman/scholar watches Aleksi the gypsy juggling in the streets for money*
Manfred: "How do you learn to juggle out in the middle of nowhere? Do you practice on squirrels or something?"
 
Michelle
aka
Samuraiko

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From a Gen Con game I thought I wasn't going to like, but loved:
 
Note: If you are not familiar with the movie "Blazing Saddles", you will not understand this:
 
I was playing an African American Male Energy Projector. Our party was travelling through time fighting invading Aliens. When we got to WW2, we faced a platoon of Nazis. They had weapons, a battleship AND large numbers. FISH IN A BARREL.
 
I asked to make a Presence Attack. The GM nodded:
 
Me: (Big Smile) "Hey Guys ! Where're all the WHITE women ??!!??" (Huge Grin)
 
GM: ( Flings empty juice box in my face.)

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From last night's Fantasy Hero Turakian Age campaign:
 
Raz (Human Rogue) and Grangnar (Drakine Wizard) take a load of silver ore found on their last adventure to a local smithy to sell it. As the smith's apprentices are carrying the loads of ore into the store, Grangnar, a little leery of... well.. everyone, after all the cultists that they've run into lately, asks the Smith -
 
Grangnar: "So... you haven't raised a horde of ravaging undead in the basement or anything, have you?"
 
Smith: "... Define 'Horde'."
 
Grangnar: "Umm... Over 5?"
 
Smith: ".. Do you mean 5 and over, or just more than 5?"
 
Grangnar: "Umm... more than 5."
 
Smith: "Oh. In that case, no. No I haven't."
 
Grangnar: "Oh. Good."
----------------
After a brief exchange overnight with Avelyne Lindsey, another prisoner being kept in the tower, where the PCs found themselves imprisoned, Raz speaks to Grangnar:
 
Raz: "I don't know if you noticed this or not, but that woman up there in the cell next to yours is a total psycho."
 
Grangnar: "Well.. she IS a woman."
----------------
And later, as Grangnar attempts conversation with the unusually reclusive Avelyne:
 
Grangnar: "So... what are you in for?"
 
Avelyne: "... I killed my husband."
 
Grangnar: "Oh. You.. didn't raise ravaging hordes of undead or anything afterwards, did you?"
 
Avelyne: "... Define 'Hordes'."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
When a game is moveing slowly from too much non game related talking, or if there is a lot of roleplaying going on and no fighting, I will often as I joke say something like.
"Come on people this is Rollplaying, I haven't rolled any dice in the past hour, lets kill something" of course in jest.
 
There was a time where the running gag was to toss the attack dice [3d6, or d20] on the table as the GM is about to speak and say, "I hit him!"
 
We've all had encounters with players whose attitudes were not much removed from this, so we made fun like good nerds do.
 
One fellow was noting that his character never got a chance to actually converse with any of the NPC's as they would get butchered by the other PC's before he would get a chance. He figured a typical encounter would go like
"Hi I'm.... Covered in your blood" [wipes hands on shirt followed by looking at the other players with disapointment]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Mercury, nanotech "T-1000": "So what is it that makes you unusual?"
 
Vlad, Telekinetic: "One could ask the same about you?"
 
Mercury: "Oh, I'm perfectly normal."
 
Vlad (thinks about Mercury's displays of superstrength, and shapeshifting)
 
Mercury: "For a nanotech robot."
 
 
GM: "And when Vlad arrives, Claire is in her costume, and is [rolls] recognizable as the costumed adventurer who retired in the 40's"
 
Player: "Oh, that's dodgy... son comes home and mother is in a superhero costume..."
 
GM: "Uhm... she _has_ a Secret Identity"
 
Player: "Oh. That makes sense."
 
 
Claire to Vlad: "My boy [Mercury] needs someone to look out for him when goes out to stalk the nights. I was wondering if you could do that?"
 
Vlad: "Is he dangerous? Is he likely to go psychotic?"
 
Claire: "Oh, heavens no. Totally harmless."....
 
.... "I found him eating my begonias a few months back. Took him in, looked after him ever since."
 
Vlad to Mercury: "I think she's organized a play date* for us".
 
Mercury: "Yeah..."
 
 
Myra: "I have a secretary?"
 
Myra: "I employ other detectives?"
 
GM: "When you said you had a detective agency, I kinda assumed that meant you _had a detective agency_".
 
 
 
Charles "Vector" Wilks: "I'd like to retain you to see if you can find any active superheroes in this city."
 
Myra, writing on notepad: 'Find superheroes... Fanboy? Unlikely, not specific about which one. Sex?' (underlines "sex")
 
 
Mercury: 'What a strange coffee mug. No coffee residue... and a cat saying "I hate Mondays on it? Why would a cat hate Mondays?'.
 
 
GM: 'Steve finishes tuning the radio to the contact frequency, shows Myra how to operate it, and leaves.'
 
Myra's players: 'I listen to it.'
 
GM: 'Uh... for how long?'
 
MP: 'An hour'
 
GM: 'Okay... an hour passes, and you don't hear anything.'
 
MP: 'I guess it's not working.'
 
GM: 'You know, the police detective told you to contact _him_ on this frequency.'
 
 
 
Mercury:"Why do you have no innate body temperature?"
 
Myra, ghost: "Because I'm dead."
 
Mercury: "Don't be silly. You are moving around and can talk. Therefore you are not dead. What is the real reason?"
 
 
Mercury (explains how he grew from a tiny blob of nanites to a mansized shapesifter)
 
Vector: "Can you separate bits of yourself and have _them_ grow?"
 
Mercury: "You know, I'd never thought of that..."
 
Vector's Player to GM: "Did I just bring about the end of humanity?"
 
 
 
(after game, Mercury's player contemplates buying himselves as followers)
Vector's player winces.
 
 
Vlad, Telekinetic: "So what are your superpowers?"
 
Vector: "Well, I can make plants grow with incredible speed-"
 
Vlad: "Can you do anything _useful_?"
 
Vector: "Uh, maybe that wasn't the best way to start."
 
 
 
Myra: "Yeah, like I'm going to trust what a bush has to say about this."
 
 
*Amazingly, no one seemed to pick up the other possible meaning...

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
I just finished a new trailer for my book (which will be uploaded to my website tomorrow), and it's gotta be one of my best efforts yet. All new video clips (nothing repeated from previous trailers), new taglines, new music (and a phenomenal music editing job, if I do say so myself)... I am so proud of myself.
 
Michelle
aka
Samuraiko

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
That's okay, I repped him.
 
Michelle
aka
Samuraiko

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
On the table where the GM's kids were playing, are a number of toys, including a doll of "Woody" from Toy Story. Two of the players on the couch play with them while the GM talks.
 
About ten minutes later, we encounter a goddess (It's an exalted game) in the swamp. She barters that for a kiss she'll show us the way to the temple. Our barbarian, who is known as a lothario who has left a trail of satisfied goddesses across the landscape of the world, steps up and kisses her.
 
At which point, another player turns to said player, who is holding the doll, and says, "Um... You might want to put your Woody away."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
The UNITY team is fighting a group of Elder Worms, who are zapping the heroes with various mental attacks. After a particularly powerful Ego Blast:
 
Tank: It's like getting a noogie... inside my skull!!!
 

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
A D&D game I was in several years ago...
 
OK, between a combo of a DM who used inappropriately high-CR monsters, a player who thought that 'Lawful Good' meant 'Lawful Stupid' and yet for reasons known only to himself picked the paladin anyway, and a supporting cast who faithfully RP'ed their alignments even when all common sense was telling them it was time to run away, most of the party died.
 
We were a level 7-8 party. Basic sequence of events was this:
 
* Paladin opens door, sees lich, and rather than close the door and get the eff out of dodge -- seeing as how a lich is *well* above our ability to survive -- he screams and charges. See above re: 'had a point to prove about how LG supposedly means LS'.
 
* LG cleric of the dwarven war god goes 'You idiot!'... and goes in anyway, as both alignment and honor code are compelling him to back up his comrade-in-arms.
 
* LG cleric of the same deity that the paladin worships (my character)... well, I'm stuck. Not only are alignment and ethos absolutely not letting me abandon my comrades to their deaths, but Sir Brain-Dead and I are in the same church hierarchy. So, resigning myself to gruesome death, I go in.
 
* CG half-orc fighter -- sees that his buddies are in trouble, charges in to go help them out. Entirely in character. (Especially given his Int 8).
 
* N mage -- stays in partial cover at the doorway arch, snipes with spells.
 
OK, I just went down the initiative order for round one. Then the lich took its action... and proceeded to obliterate all five characters I just named, with some type of area-effect negative energy damaging spell that I don't even know the name of. I mean, we're talking "straight from full HP to below -10 in one shot". Only the paladin successfully saved, but even half damage was enough to atomize him, as we were already down some HP from an earlier encounter.
 
However, while the area of effect covered the entire room and the doorway, it did /not/ cover the hall outside... so two of our party were still alive.
 
Those two party members were a N thief/mage, and a CN thief.
 
And I swear to God, feet sticking up, that as soon as the lich blew us all into ash, the two players in question turned to each other at the table and said, without missing a beat:
 
"Race you back to camp."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
After literally demolishing an entire building during a hostage situation that somehow involved an out of control chaos mage and a rampaging oni, Poet emerges from what is left of the campus anthropology building.
Poet: It's alright! I'm alright! You can move along now. Um... classes will resume as scheduled...

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Pickup D&D game tonight. I decide to do something I rarely do, a pretty mindlessly direct greataxe-wielding Barbarian. I hold off my one-and-only berserk rage until the end of the night ... and we encounter the main bad guy.
 
I get the best initiative.
I rage.
I charge.
I attack.
I hit critically.
My 3d12 damage comes up 10,11,12.
Counting my Strength and Power Attack at the time, the damage came up to 53.
Fight over.
 
Everybody just kind of stares at the minis and grid map for a moment. There's an uncomfortable silence, and then ...
 
Me: "Looks like the crit hit the fan.":D

Re: The cranky thread
 
No wool. It chafes.
 
Michelle
aka
Samuraiko

Re: The cranky thread
 

 
Yeah, sorry about that. I thought they'd like it, the bastards. Oh well, they're young, bitter, and in many ways stupid but every once in a while they make me laugh.
 
I'm sorry for causing you any pain. I hope everybody knows I wouldn't do that intentionally.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From Saturday's Champions game.
 
The PCs are invited back to the Homestead after stopping the Horizon Casino from robbed and/or demolished. When Defender asks the PCs if they are willing to trust the Champions and work with them, Midnight (my PC) looks at him and says, "I'll show my face if you show yours."
 
He thinks for a moment, obviously weighing this one up, then he removes his face plate. At which point Midnight stares, and then bursts out in uproarious laughter as she removes her own mask and hat. Defender stares at her, his jaw hanging open in disbelief as he realizes that Midnight is, in fact, the multimillionaire playgirl gambler who owns the estate next to his.
 
Defender: "You're s***ing me."
 
Michelle
aka
Samuraiko

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From Saturday's Champions game.
 
The PCs are invited back to the Homestead after stopping the Horizon Casino from robbed and/or demolished. When Defender asks the PCs if they are willing to trust the Champions and work with them, Midnight (my PC) looks at him and says, "I'll show my face if you show yours."
 
He thinks for a moment, obviously weighing this one up, then he removes his face plate. At which point Midnight stares, and then bursts out in uproarious laughter as she removes her own mask and hat. Defender stares at her, his jaw hanging open in disbelief as he realizes that Midnight is, in fact, the multimillionaire playgirl gambler who owns the estate next to his.
 
Defender: "You're s***ing me."
 
Michelle
aka
Samuraiko

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From Saturday's Champions game.
 
The PCs are invited back to the Homestead after stopping the Horizon Casino from robbed and/or demolished. When Defender asks the PCs if they are willing to trust the Champions and work with them, Midnight (my PC) looks at him and says, "I'll show my face if you show yours."
 
He thinks for a moment, obviously weighing this one up, then he removes his face plate. At which point Midnight stares, and then bursts out in uproarious laughter as she removes her own mask and hat. Defender stares at her, his jaw hanging open in disbelief as he realizes that Midnight is, in fact, the multimillionaire playgirl gambler who owns the estate next to his.
 
Defender: "You're s***ing me."
 
Michelle
aka
Samuraiko

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 

 
Dude! You got 12 hours notice! Go you!
 
There is always the sockpuppet alternative. We had an unreliable player who was finally replaced by a sockpuppet (well, actually, we just made mouthmoving gestures with our fingers while calling out her catchphrases). It worked... remarkably well, actually.