Case of the Pampered Princess
Heroines For Hire offices, Thursday.
It has been a slow day at the office. Shingon, my partner of several years had been practicing some kind of Zen breathing exercise in the corner of the office. I swear the girl hadn’t breathed a breath in the last hour. To be honest I’ll never understand her. No breathe, well that just ain’t natural. As for my I was stuck with the typing, I hate typing, with my strength I can punch holes through steel. Plastic keyboards don’t stand a chance. It took my months to learn how to control my strength to do this much. I’ve ran through countless keyboards because of my strength alone. Dang, there goes another one. I resist the urge to chuck the entire desk, computer and all, through the wall.
The knock at the door was what saved the desk. Naturally, Shingon is at the door opening it. Dang that girl moves too fast. Sure I was real fast back in the day when I was playing ball with the Steel City Cyclones, but basketball holds no comparison to how Shingon moves. One moment Shingon looks like she need CPR or something and the next she’s using someone into the office.
I start to rise from behind my desk. Normally I have to be a little careful when standing because I’ve cratered the ceiling a few times when I’ve been careless. I was halfway up with a smile forming on my face when I saw the person, and I use that term loosely when describing what came into the offices of Heroines For Hire that Thursday afternoon.
This suit, yes he was wearing a fine business suit in a dove gray color, but that was the only comparison I could make between this person and a business man. His skin was a bright scarlet and he had a pair of small horns growing from his forehead and his eyes were pools of green with no iris. Did I mention that he was big? Now I ain’t small myself. Even before my transformation I was tall; I played professional basketball after all. Since my transformation, well let’s say that I don’t wear the same shoe sized that I used to. This guy was huge; I was never sure how he even fit through our door let alone not put his massive head through the ceiling if he didn’t crouch a little. Did mention that he was barefoot; guess it would be real hard to get a pair of shoes in his size.
Shingon was at his side bowing like she does when greeting clients. I keep meaning to tell her that she doesn’t always have to do that. Next to this dude, Shingon looks like a doll or something. He could certain break her like a twig he was that massive after all. Of course landing a blow on Shingon would be another matter altogether. Shingon and I often spare up on roof of our building. I rarely get a touch in on that wily Japanese girl. It is obvious though that Shingon is feeling threatened. Instead she is talking to him in her rapid fire Japanese. After several years of working with Shingon I can speak some Japanese but this is too fast for me.
The big guy reached into his breast pocket and I tensed up a little, being a private investigator in Steel City isn’t without its risks. Of course I’m being a little too sensitive, hazard of the job. Out comes a business card which he hands down to Shingon. With almost too much grace, Shingon came over to my desk. If only Shingon was only a few feet taller she would’ve been a star for the Steel City Cyclones. However, Shingon barely stands over five feet tall. With her usual flair, Shingon handed me the business card.
Naturally the business card was written in Japanese. While I can speak a little Japanese thanks to Shingon, I can't read a lick of it. Shingon, of course, was her usual helpful self.
“It says his name is Zekki, and he's an envoy for the royal family of Oni Island.”
“Oni Island?” I said. “I've never heard of it.”
Zekki nodded his head and said something else in Japanese that I didn't catch.
“Well technically,” Shingon answered sagely. “Oni Island isn't in this dimension. At times an access to the island is available in this world.”
Again, Zekki started talking and once again I couldn't follow but Shingon was listening intently. When he finally ran out of words, Shingon was nodding her head along with whatever the big guy was saying. Her normally uncontrollable hair became even more uncontrollable.
“Zekki here as I said he is an envoy from Oni Island. A member of the royal family...”
“Onihime,” Zekki interrupted. He didn't sound too happy.
“Yes,” Shingon continued in her usual calm voice. “Like he said, Princess Onihime will be attending a charity function in her honor two nights from now.”
“So what does the royal family need us for,” I asked.
Zekki said something again that I didn't understand and Shingon translated for him.
“The royal family doesn't quite trust the SCPD for security for the princess. Zekki wants to hire us to be bodyguards for Princess Onihime while she is in Steel City for the party.”
“Why can't Zekki there be her bodyguard for the night?”
Zekki mumbled something about not speaking English that I could actually understand. Again I do speak a little Japanese.
I wasn't quite sure about all of this. Babysitting an oni princess wasn't quite what I had planned on. I voiced my concerns about this and this was when once again Zekki reached into his breast pocket pulling out another piece a paper handing it to Shingon.
If I could see Shingon’s eyes behind that mask of hers I wouldn’t have been too surprised if they weren’t as big as saucers. With a slightly shaky hand, unusual for Shingon, she handed me the check. The number of zeroes on it almost floored me too. There was enough money here to keep the office running for at least year and maybe I could even hire a secretary. I took a moment to dream about the possibilities.
I was brought up short from my thoughts to the sound of Zekki clearing his throat. It sounded like two rocks grounding together. I looked up from the check to see that Zekki had a large black envelope in one hand which he preceded to hand to an eager Shingon. Once he had done that, he bowed deeply to Shingon and bowed to me hastily to me before turning to carefully opening our office door and then without a backward glance left. I hadn’t even said that we were going to take the job. Oh well.
I sat back down at my desk, my chair protecting a little. At times it really sucks to have such an oversized body. I dropped the check on the desk before looking at Shingon with a skeptical eye. Shingon was ignoring me going over what had been in the black envelope that had been closed with a large wax seal.
“Well that was unusual,” I said to the room which seemed so much bigger now that Zekki was no longer in it. “He didn’t even let me tell him if we were taking the job or not. Hope this check of his clears the bank.”
“Oh I’m sure it will,” Shingon said offhandedly. “The royal family of Oni Island is quite rich or so it has been said.”
“So what’s that?” I asked pointing at what Shingon had pulled from the envelope.
“It is an invitation to the party at the Heritage Hotel. It says that it’s a black tie affair.”
Damn, I thought, I hate to get dressed up and I don’t think I’ve ever seen Shingon in anything else than her costume. Well I guessed sacrifices needed to be made. Now if I only have time to get to the bank before it closes.
The next night…
After a whirlwind shopping spree that took me to some of the most expensive stores in Steel City, I think we’re actually ready for this job. Following a lengthy discussion, sic argument, with my partner, we decided that I would be the face that everyone saw at the party with the princess. I tend to stand out regardless. As for Shingon she would be disguised as one of the wait staff. Anyways, I’m ready to go. I’ve got the dress with only a few alterations for my size by pure luck found some heels actually in my size; don’t ask.
The taxi ride from my apartment uptown to the Heritage was uneventful, except for the cabby giving the look. You’d think I’d get used to being stared at the time. At the Heritage, I tip the taxi a ten and don’t even get a thank you. Oh well, it takes all kinds.
The doorman at the Heritage Hotel was a fine looking elderly black gentleman wearing a uniform complete with a cap. I don’t mind him giving me a look over.
“Sorry miss,” he said holding up a hand to stop me from going inside. “Tonight is by invitation only. Do you have an invitation?”
I smiled back at him and rummage through my clutch purse. For a second I can’t find the invitation that Zekki had given us the day before. Even the doorman looked a little concerned; probably wondering if he could’ve kept me out if I want to just barge in.
“Oh here it is,” I said pulling it out brandishing before me. The look of concern quickly left his face and his smiled at me with a mouth full of pearly whites.
“Thank you miss the party is in the ballroom on the sixteenth floor. The elevators are located to the left of the counter. Please enjoy your evening.” He said this as he opened the door for me and gave me a tip of his hat as I passed inside. It’s nice that there are still some decent people left in Steel City. The heels of my high heeled shoes made a clip-clop sound on the marble floor as I made my way over to the elevators. The doors of the elevators were a highly polished metal that gave me a good look at myself. Damn, I do look good in this dress.
The doors to the elevator dinged as they opened up. It seemed that the entire sixteenth floor was taken up by the ballroom. The north wall of the room was nothing but a panoramic view of the night sky of Steel City. Hanging from the ceiling was the largest chandelier, I've ever seen. Up against the north wall was also a lavish spread with the required ice sculpture of a gigantic swan.
As I stepped into the ballroom a bespectacled Shingon dressed as a waitress swept up to me offering up a glass of champagne. Shingon nodded at me before fading back into the throng. The place was packed. The rich and the famous of Steel City rubbed shoulders with one another. Off in a corner of the ballroom a string quartet provided music to the crowd. With as much dignity that I could muster I waded into the room. Naturally being taller and bigger than anyone in the room I drew everyone's eyes.
I was a little surprised to see my ex-boyfriend in attendance at this party. Bad boys were always my weakness and there wasn't one more bad in Steel City than Cesar Leoni. At the time I didn't know that he was the son of Don Alfonso ‘Big Al’ Leoni, one of the crime bosses who plagued Steel City. Ah to be young and stupid again. For me the two seemed to go hand in hand. Cesar was the most handsome of devils more the pity me. If had never gotten involved with Cesar, I probably would never have become what I am today. I moved in the opposite direction from him only to come up short when I saw who was accompanying him. They called themselves ‘Sugar and Spice’; I knew learned their true names. I did know that the pair which hung on Cesar's arms like so much eye candy. Sugar was a blond white woman while Spice was an equally beautiful black woman who clung to Cesar's other arm. The pair was also credited to be some of the most dangerous of street fighters in all of Steel City. In the end, I guessed they must be acting as bodyguards for the don's son.
Moving towards the food at the back of the ballroom I was intercepted by Jimiiya ‘Jimmy’ Mbweha who appeared out of the crush as if by magic. Jimmy claimed to be a modest businessman. The simple fact that Jimmy was from Azambia made him suspect in almost everyone’s eyes. Azambia was a small country in Eastern Africa and was under the rule of the super-villain and dictator the Witch Doctor. Even with these limitations Jimmy still cut a dashing figure.
“Ah Pet…” Jimmy started to greet me, but I gave him the eye, no one used my real name without my permission, and he corrected himself. “Please forgive me. I meant to say ‘Ah Power, so wonderful to see tonight at this this party and I must say that you are looking quite fetching in that dress of yours.’”
I couldn’t help but blush a little at the sly man’s comment.
“Oh Jimmy I bet that you say that to all the girls.”
“Oh no my sweet Power, no one else came compare to you magnificence. I would offer you a drink, but I see that you already have one.”
As he said this a certain bespectacled waitress passed nearby and Jimmy with a deft hand liberated a fluted glass of champagne from her tray. If only knew who she was he might have paid her more mind. Again, the waitress disappeared into the crowd without as much as a backwards glance.
To cover her exit, I spoke up to distract Jimmy.
“And you look quite the handsome man in that suit of yours. I'd be afraid to ask you how you paid of that suit.”
“Oh this old thing,” Jimmy said nonchalantly. “It is just something I found in my closet.”
I could tell that Jimmy was teasing me. That suit he wore must have cost thousands of dollars. It was a suit of a black material that was so dark that it had a blue sheen to it. All in all it complemented Jimmy's dark skin, winning smile, and short cropped nappy haircut. Jimmy completed his ensemble with a light green tie of the finest silk. The tie pin was a silver jackal’s head.
“By the way dear Power, where is that scrumptious little partner of yours? It is a rare day that one doesn’t see her at your side.”
“Well, you know Shingon she’s a very studious person. Parties aren’t really her thing.”
“Quite,” Jimmy returned with his usual dazzling smile before taking a sip of his champagne.
As I watched Jimmy, I noticed that his eyes were widening a little in surprise or shock I couldn’t be certain. I casually turned my head to see what had startled this usually unperturbable man. I found myself equally startled. The doors to the ballroom had opened and what came in captured the attention of everyone in the room.
Onihime, a princess of the royal family of Oni Island had finally arrived and made her entrance to the party. There are few women who match me in height and while Onihime wasn’t taller than me, she came damn close. I couldn’t help but compare this oni to Zekki. While Zekki and Onihime both had red skin and sported a pair of ivory horns growing from their heads that is where the similarities ended. Zekki was big brutish guy, while was more zaftig but definitely very feminine. She wore a strapless satiny canary yellow dress with a plunging neckline that showed off her ample cleavage. In addition the dress had a slit up the side that run almost to her waist. Onihime wore lacy white thigh high stockings that completed the yellow high heeled shoes that matched her dress. The only jewelry that she wore was a pair of golden bracelets. Unlike Zekki who was a true blond, Onihime had long flowing pink hair, whether this was her natural hair color or something else I never learned.
Seeing how our client had finally arrived I moved to take my leave of Jimmy Mbweha. As I moved closer to Onihime, Jimmy called over my back.
“By Jove, Power,” Jimmy exclaimed. “I didn’t know that you were into that sort of thing. What is your little friend going to think about that?”
Jimmy might have said something else, but a bespectacled young waitress accidently bumped into him almost causing him to spill his drink. She spent several moments padding him down with a towel despite his protestations that he was alright. This gave me a perfect opportunity to get away to speak with Onihime. As I came close Onihime turned to look at me. She had been overlooking the room but when she spied me she stopped. I reached out my hand to shake, but she being from the East she bowed instead. I should’ve known better; I’ve been with Shingon for a few years now as her partner and she bows instead of shakes hands. So when in Rome, do as the Romans do and I bowed in turn.
“Hello Princess Onihime,” I started to say as way of greeting.
She interrupted me by saying, “Oh please call me Onihime everyone does.”
“Okay,” I said quickly recovering myself. She was a lot friendlier than I thought she would be. “Please call me Power.”
“Power…?” Onihime asked raising a purple eyebrow. “I’m not sure I understand is power your name or title?”
“Well, I guess Power is more like a title, actually it’s a codename. I have real name but I never use it, so people just call me Power. It comes from when I used to play basketball for the Steel City Cyclones.”
“Basketball, I don’t understand?” Onihime sounded even more perplexed. “What does basketball have to do with your codename?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle a little at this. “It’s a long story I’m afraid. Plus it has to do with why I am the way I am now. Come on let us not stand here in the doorway. Let me get you a drink and maybe a bite to eat.”
Onihime moved further into the crowd which parted for two ladies who stood head and shoulders taller than anyone else in the ballroom. At the buffet table Onihime found herself at a disadvantage. I’m afraid I wasn’t of much use. The appetizers laid out weren’t ones that I was familiar with either. Not one to let things bother me much, I loaded up a plate with things that, I hoped would at least taste good. I was never quite sure about those berries set out on little spoons; tasted fishy. Onihime followed my lead and when both sampled at lot and some of it even tasted passable. To this day I’ll never be sure exactly what we had been eating. Even Jimmy Mbweha wasn't much help when he ambled over as well; no matter how much he tried to integrate himself with Onihime.
I was trying to get a cracker down that tasted strongly of chives and liver; two flavors I found particularly distasteful when the doors to the ballroom were thrown up tearing them from their hinges. The doors themselves flew apart slamming into the nearby walls. The musicians who were softly playing in the background ended their performance with a squeal of bow upon strings.
All eyes turned to stare at the party crashers in stunned silence as four individuals calmly stepped inside. The person who had torn off the doors was a brute of a man. He was albino whose only clothing were a pair of gray trousers held up by red rope. His brutish face was hidden behind on of those masks they use to restrain lunatics from biting. He had to duck down to enter the ballroom and when he stood fully upright towered over everyone in the room including Onihime and myself. Once inside the giant paused as three other albinos came into the ballroom to stand before him.
Their leader was dressed like as if he were some kind of 18th century dandy with suit and tie all in black as well as a black top hat with a red band around it. His pale skin was marked by the reddest lips behind a well-trimmed goatee. He smiled at everyone in the ballroom, unnerving all. The well-dressed albino stepped forward and picked up a glass of champagne from an abandoned tray. He swilled the contents of the glass before smacking his lips. Satisfied, he doffed his hat to the crowd before speaking in a faux cultured manner.
“Do please excuse our intrusion at you soiree this evening. Please allow me to introduce myself and my beloved siblings. My name is Jared Krow and these are my brother Billy, who was so kind enough to open the door for us, and my other brother Horace. See how he smiles.”
Horace who stood next to Jared Krow opened a mouth like that an alligator showing off very sharp looking teeth. Also unlike his siblings, Horace was more beastly almost bald, except for a topknot. He wore a leotard similar to ones worn by wrestlers. Like his brother, Billy, Horace Krow went barefoot, except his toenails looked to be just as sharp as his fingernails.
“And this is my lovely sister Vivian Krow,” Jared Krow nodded toward the beautiful and deadly woman standing smiling at the crowd before them. Like her brothers, Vivian was an albino. She wore a black dress with a plunging neckline that rivaled the dress that Onihime wore. Vivian complemented her outfit with blood red gloves that reached up to the shoulders.
“Enough with the introductions,” Jared Krow continued turning his attention to the assemblage. “Once again for those who weren't listening, I am Jared Krow and we are a Murder of Krows. So if you fine gentlemen and ladies would be so kind, I require that you give over to us all your valuables. Don't hold anything back. My brother Billy wouldn't be happy and you wouldn't want to deal with Billy when he isn't happy and nothing makes Billy happier than when people follow my directions.”
We all stood there for a moment digesting what had just had been said, before a voice called out from the crowd.
“You have got to be kidding me,” Cesar Leoni stepped forward with his bodyguards Sugar & Spice trailing close behind him. “Who do you think you are? A bunch of punks I think. Do you know who you are threating? Mio Dio, with just a call I can have you all silenced.”
“Cesar,” Sugar said speaking with a Southern accent. “No need to mess with this scoundrel. Spice and I know how to deal with his kind.”
“Enough of this,” Jared boomed, his pale face contorted in rage. “Unless everyone here has gone deaf, this is a R-O-B-B-E-R-Y.”
Jared then reached into the pocket of his suit jacket and pulled out a straight razor and flicked it open. The blade looked wicked sharp as it flashed in the light. Sugar and Spice reflectively shifted their positions to protect their boss. I too moved to stand in front of Onihime to shield the princess from attack.
Jared raised his straight razor high over his head before slashing it down. This must have been a signal to his siblings because they started to move forward. The majority of the crowd started screaming and crying making a mad dash away from the Krows. The only ones’ who didn’t take to their high heels were I, Cesar Leoni and his bodyguards and did I mention Onihime and Shingon.
As for Shingon she appeared as if out of nowhere, because I swear no one saw her coming. One moment she wasn’t there and then next she was leading with a kick to Jared Krow’s jaw. The blow to the leader of the Murder of Krows sent him sprawling to the floor. Shingon followed this up with an acrobatic move the put her squarely in front of Onihime who without my knowledge had moved to stand next to me; nor did I see where she had gotten the studded iron club that she was packing in one fist.
To be honest things started to blur at this point. Billy Krow had come over blocking out most of the room; man he was big and he didn’t look to happy either. He was yelling something about ice cream; I was never quite sure why. Down came a pair of fist the size of hams on me. I was just quick enough to get my arms up to block the blow but it did drive me down to me knees. There was a tearing sound as the slit in my dress grew longer. I let out a grunt of pain. As for Billy he raised his fists for another try at me. He didn’t get a chance because over my back came that iron club that Onihime was swinging. It connected with the albinos belly with a meaty thump. The blow only drove him back a couple of inches. It did allow me to move away from Billy for a moment.
A moment was all I had because his brother Horace jumped me. Not only did the little bastard have sharp teeth which he planted into the flesh of my shoulder, but his fingernails were razor sharp. Now normally my skin tends to bounce bullets off of it, but Horace’s bite actually tore into me. The pain was almost overwhelming. I staggered around with people screaming in fear trying their best to get out of our way. I slammed up against a wall and Horace let out a squeal and loosed his grip on my shoulder. This was all the opening I needed. Doubling up my fist I delivered an uppercut to his jaw. Like a rocket Horace flew upwards slamming his head into the ceiling and beyond. I didn’t spare Horace and time after that as I turned to survey the chaos around me. On top of everything else, Horace had ruined my dress.
Over by the elevator, Jared Krow had regained his footing as well as his razor. Shingon was waiting for him to move. I could see that she chanting one of her mantras and when Jared made his move against her. Now I found it difficult to follow his movement as he slashed at Shingon with his razor, he was just that fast. Shingon aided by that mystic mumbo-jumbo that she practiced seemed to move at thought alone. One moment, Jared was slashing at Shingon and the next he was flying backwards through the closed doors of the ballroom into the hallway beyond after being on the receiving several well placed punches to his body. As for the straight razor it clattered to floor.
I didn't have much time to marvel upon Shingon's skills at karate because Vivian Krow had engaged Sugar and Spice in a running battle all across the room. As for Onihime she was trading blow for blow with Billy Krow; his fists and her iron club. I was going to interfere but I could see that she was smiling so widely that I could tell with certainly that she was enjoying herself. On top of all of that my shoulder was throbbing from the bite from Horace. I would heal.
I had decided to go see if I could find something to staunch the bleeding with when Vivian Krow came rushing by me with Sugar and Spice hot on her high heels. Almost casually I raised my arm clothes-lining her across her chest. Vivian let out a grunt of shock and pain as and found herself on her back. As for Sugar and Spice they didn't give Vivian a chance to get back onto her feet. They came rushing in kicking her in tandem. Naturally, Cesar was egging them on. I did mention that I dated him for a while and that he was the son of a gangster.
“Enough,” I yelled getting the pairs attention. They looked at me as if wondering who was I to tell them what to do. The look on my face was enough to dissuade them and the stopped what they were doing moving over to stand in front of Cesar who looked flushed with excitement in seeing his bodyguards beating up Vivian. As for Vivian she looked like she needed medical attention. I was just about to bend down to check on her when there was a loud booming sound as Onihime finally laid Billy Krow low with final blow of her iron club. I looked at her. She was almost as disheveled as I was. There was a trickle of blood in the corner of her mouth. Almost casually Onihime swiped at the blood with the back of her hand.
Breathing heavily and leaning on her club Onihime said, “This has been quite a party, Power, but to be honest this isn't quite my scene. This was all Zekki's idea after all.
Let's get out of here. I'm starving. Do you know a good ramen shops nearby?”
“And karaoke afterward,” Shingon said gliding up to stand by me.
“So long as we can get something to drink along the way, I'm in.”
Together the three of us left the Heritage Hotel arm in arm without a backwards glance. Cesar tried to catch my eye but I ignored him. He was in the past and that was where I going to leave him. Once out on the streets who hailed a taxi and we were on our way for ramen, drinks, and karaoke. Boy, I was really going to pay for it in the morning.
