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Balabanto

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Everything posted by Balabanto

  1. A player actually figured it out, but he couldn't figure out how he was going to do it. The moral of this story is "Stakeouts work."
  2. So, at long last, the heroes have managed to mostly reconstruct their lives after the dimensional explosion in Indianapolis. Well, this doesn't last long. They discover that Foxbat is establishing a massive Flat Earth Society convention in their city, and he has 84,321 attendees. So they buy tickets (Don't know why they did this) and head inside. Thinking that Foxbat is going to mind control people, they start looking around for anything related to this, but don't bother to post anyone on aerial overwatch. From my previous post, you guys may remember the dimensional explosion that occurred. Well, all that energy was still floating around residually. So Foxbat found out about that, built an energy collector, and launched the building into space! Well, the heroes have only themselves to blame for not posting anyone outside to see the incoming group of villains, but this is going to be tearjerkingly funny, since Foxbat hasn't figured out a way to get down. There should be enough air for five to six days, but after that, it's probably going to be over. Now, the heroes are still on their way up, but my god, I can't believe this goofy plan actually worked.
  3. Someone clearly didn't like the chocolate in their peanut butter.
  4. Wonder Warthog!!! All the world's rooting for you! As you dig for truffles, With your magic snuffles, With your magic italian forest snoot....
  5. Sherlock Holmes on the Planet of the Apes
  6. The Assassination of Elmer Fudd by the Coward Daffy Duck.
  7. Friendship is Hentai!!! Urotsokipony, Legend of the Overhorse
  8. When you're diving alone, And your leg's shredded to bone, That's a moray...
  9. Why do you keep doing this with things that are already scary in real life?
  10. So, last night the 7th level party was ambushed by 3 first level Hobgoblin Rangers in fortified positions. By the time the fight was over, the party and their horses had sustained over 100 points of damage and two horses were dead. Player: So, we can skin the horses and take the hides, right, after we loot the hobgoblins? Me: Dude...you just killed every ranger here!
  11. Iron Fist of the North By Northwest Star (Ugh)
  12. A soul singer and his band of midgets steal history's greatest artifacts in.... Morris Day and the Time Bandits!
  13. The Vanishing of the Tour De France John Carpenter's Sex Type Thing Ridley Scott's The Kite Blade Runner Watership Black Hawk Down
  14. Scooby Doo 40K. And I would have committed heresy, too, if it wasn't for you lousy marine trainees and your genetically engineered dog!
  15. So, a couple days ago, I was running for one of my many Champions groups, New Frontier. The current team consists of: Capacitor: Arrogant scientist and energy absorber redirector Celestia: Non-Earth Human who wields the power of the Galactic Soul, a source of cosmic energy. Lady Liberty: Insane mystical defender of freedom with mystic armor. Vasily: Temporally displaced Russian Brick Garaja Nari: Vudra-infused Americanized Indian Rogue: Invisibility generating Ape in a Man Suit (This will become important soon.) So, the characters encounter a villain named Manyapes. Manyapes produces more apes every time he's struck physically. This leads to problems. Figuring out a way to track him after he places a bug in Rogues apartment (Because the gorillas he is roguing against are pretty darn sure he's also a gorilla) and a horrific fight in Rogue's apartment, the heroes track him to an abandoned SPIDER base where they previously fought one of their old enemies. When they get there, as Rogue disabling alarms, Lady Liberty busts in. Rogue: I can go home, you know. So, they make their way down, now that the apes are alerted, and, of course, they decide to have a conversation with the gorillas. There are two scientist type gorillas, Gilberto and Jose Orilla (Yes, those really are their names), who were considered brilliant enough by the people of Ape Island to have their brains transplanted into gorilla bodies, and Manyapes. Sitting in the center of the room is their temporary power source for the base, a tiny chunk of glowing blue rock in a console with some advanced technology they don't have time to analyze. Jose Orilla is invisible. Floating above the console is Capacitor's archenemy, Bill Watson, in an insubstantial state, because he's been separated since his last fight with the characters and molecularly exists in two places at once. Bill was sucked into the energy source when the Apes rebuilt the base, and they really don't know what to do about him, which was why they bugged Rogue's apartment in the first place... Gilberto: Buenas Noches Capacitor: And good evening to you, sir. Please desist in whatever you're doing, and we will go easy on you. Gilberto: You are a very clever man, sir. We would like to give you a reward for your intelligence. Capacitor: What sort of reward is this? Gilberto: We would transplant you into a body like ours, and you would join our side. Capacitor: No thank you, but when we defeat you, I would like to compare scientific notes. Gilberto: You will have plenty of time to discuss this in your new body. Combat Ensues.... During combat, Rogue tries to sneak around the side, as he can also go invisible. Me: Please show me the exact nature of your path. Rogue: (Tracking it on the battlemap) Is there a trap here? Me: Not exactly. You bump into something. Rogue: What? Me: So as two invisible gorillas collide in the corner... Rogue: I can't see him? Me: That's okay. He can't see you, either! As the fight continues, Ag Vandar, cybernetic leader of Ape Island, shows up, because he's about to lose two of his top scientists, and he can't let that happen. Ag Vandar generates cosmic energy through the power of the bluish rock. They throw everything they have at him. Garaja Nari, whose rolls are on fire, is pasting everything they have with arrows that rain fire from the sky, there are unconscious apes all over the place, and it's general chaos. Now. Please refer to the special effects section of what the characters do at the top of the chart before reading the rest of this. Realizing that with Ag Vandar in the fight, they cannot win, one of the heroes flies over and hits the self destruct button. The chunk of meteor generates a massive energy wave. Everything in the combat takes 15d6 of Damage. BUT... The massive amount of energy absorption, redirection, cosmic energy, quantum mass displacement (man suits), and advanced technological devices involving similar energies and warping space and mass creates a colossal disaster. Garaja is knocked out. Lady Liberty is knocked out. The two scientist gorillas are slingshotted around the globe to random locations. The desintegrator pistol, used to apparently kill Manyapes, is within the radius, making things even weirder. Ag Vandar is sucked through a hole in the dimensional fabric. Vassily reappears at the Center of the Earth, in the lands of the Pterodactyl Men. Bill (remember Bill?) turns solid, so there are now two of him in separate locations. Capacitor, since their powers are opposites, is now insubstantial. And when Rogue wakes up, since his Man Suit was left behind, he's in chains, somewhere in the world, in a cage. And the Monster Maker, a lovely lady with a grudge against dozens of other superheroes, is grinning at him through the bars of the cage. "Looks like someone has some explaining to do." So, yeah. It was a blast. I have no idea how they're going to fix this stuff. But it was awesome.
  16. Bridge over the River Kwai Chang Kaine The Music Man of La Mancha The Bombing of Harry Dresden
  17. Brian's Song of Solomon Live By Night of the Living Dead (Now, this is watchable, but only if you close your mind off really hard) MST Power Level 9000 (I have no idea what this would look like. But it is traumatizing enough that the words come together easily)
  18. In Brigadoon, the characters trapped in time never see ANYTHING. They're frozen.
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