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Ockham's Spoon

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Ockham's Spoon last won the day on August 12

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    Engineering professor

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Ockham's Spoon's Achievements

  1. Me: It's not about how many times you fall, it's about how many times you get back up. Cop: That's not how sobriety tests work.
  2. I just replaced my cat's litter box with a FedEx box. Now when it is full, I just tape it shut and leave it on my porch for someone to steal.
  3. Who was the genius that came up with the name Trojan for a brand of condoms? It is basically named after something that penetrated a stronghold and then broke open so all the little guys in there could pour out and screw over the city.
  4. I went to visit my brother yesterday and he had a bloody bandage on his arm. I asked him "Oh my gosh, what happened to your arm?" He said "I was out on a walk and got bitten by a Great Dane." "How terrible! Imagine if it had been a small child!" He replied "Well, I think I could have fought off a small child."
  5. An old man climbs onto a bus, only to find there are no seats left, so he just leans on his walking stick. When the bus brakes suddenly, he slips and falls on the lap of a teen boy. The boy says snarkily "You know if you had just put a rubber on the end of that stick, that wouldn't have happened." The old man replies "And if your father had taken the same advice, I'd have a seat!"
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