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Ockham's Spoon

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Everything posted by Ockham's Spoon

  1. Me: It's not about how many times you fall, it's about how many times you get back up. Cop: That's not how sobriety tests work.
  2. I just replaced my cat's litter box with a FedEx box. Now when it is full, I just tape it shut and leave it on my porch for someone to steal.
  3. Who was the genius that came up with the name Trojan for a brand of condoms? It is basically named after something that penetrated a stronghold and then broke open so all the little guys in there could pour out and screw over the city.
  4. I went to visit my brother yesterday and he had a bloody bandage on his arm. I asked him "Oh my gosh, what happened to your arm?" He said "I was out on a walk and got bitten by a Great Dane." "How terrible! Imagine if it had been a small child!" He replied "Well, I think I could have fought off a small child."
  5. An old man climbs onto a bus, only to find there are no seats left, so he just leans on his walking stick. When the bus brakes suddenly, he slips and falls on the lap of a teen boy. The boy says snarkily "You know if you had just put a rubber on the end of that stick, that wouldn't have happened." The old man replies "And if your father had taken the same advice, I'd have a seat!"
  6. "Our elders really do hold the wisdom of our people" 😄
  7. The pandemic has been hard on a lot of relationships, but my marriage is stronger than ever. My wife and I have such a loving relationship that just last night I woke to find her holding a pillow tightly against my face to protect me from COVID-19.
  8. Because fantasy settings often have long-lived and even immortal races as well as magic allowing for people to live far beyond the normal human lifespan, I think it is reasonable that kingdoms could persist far longer than would be plausible in a historically accurate world. And from a world-building standpoint, having fairly static geopolitical boundaries is easier and simpler. That said, I think complexity and change add a lot of flavor to a setting, and open up more plot hooks. Bare minimum you want to have some High Age in the distant past when they made fantastic magical artifacts or had amazing arcane knowledge that was lost until the PC's find it again. But you don't have to map out the whole history of the world, just the really major events. You can fill in the details later, and even retcon things just by telling the PC's that the generally accepted version of history turned out to be wrong, either due to ignorance or actively falsified historical records done to benefit the ruler at the time.
  9. Yeah, but that carries a lighter sentence than murder
  10. My wife and I were chatting over dinner, and she told me that she had found out that if you kill somebody in international waters on an unregistered boat and then dump the body overboard, they can't trace it back to any single legal system so you can't be charged for murder. Then she looked at me cheerfully and asked "So what did you do today?"
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