Klytus

And then there was this conversation about evil D&D clerics.
 
Player 1: "Evil clerics have it made. They can command the undead to do their bidding."
Player 2: "Yo! Go to the river and do my laundry!"
Player 3: "Eww! Who wants bits of dead flesh on your clothes?"
Player 4: "That's why you use skeletons."
Player 2: "Exactly! And then when the skeletons are done with the washing, they can double as a drying rack."
 
I have some wierd friends...

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
And so it came to pass, on 12:24am, August 10th, 2011, Klytus became, for exactly one year, the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything.
 
Yeah, it's early, but I don't feel like staying up late to post it "on time"...

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From the latest campaign
 
Someone wanted to get skills to be more "undercoverous"...
 
Out of context...
GM (OOC):How do you like gaming so far?
Player (OOC): I gotta change my pants…
 
Female player OOC: Do you have any popsicles?
Male OOC: Just one – but it’s not cold.
 
After way too many bad jokes: I’m not sure who to punch anymore…
 
In a discussion on "lubricating the gears of his mind"
Female PC: If you need me to lubricate the gears of… (OOC) don’t go there!
 
Sounds like they need power sensitivity training…
 
OOC: I think Dick Harder was the roommate of Harry Beaver
 
On aiding with computer skills…
Dash: You can be the left hand.
Graviton: I was thinking I might get lucky…
 
After going to a night club
Willow: (Asking the GM)Oh? I don’t get laid?
GM (OOC): Was that a goal?
Players OOC quoting 8-Bit theatre: If there are any guys there, she wants to do them!
 
On discussing how "functional" Prism (a brick with a humanoid diamond form) is in his shape shifted form... all OOC
Player 1: Doesn't it have facets? That would be sharp!
GM: Well, he could always "smooth out the edges"...
Player 2: Gives a new meaning to the terms "polishing his jewels"
 
In describing doing a telepathic mind-reading
GM: You get into his brain…
Player 1 (OOC)… it is dark
GM (OOC): You may be eaten by a Grue…
 
Player 1 (OOC):I’ve been jerking around too much… let me rephrase that...
 
Player 1 (OOC):Do you have a paper-clip sized tool?
Player 2 (OOC):Anything *I* have would be too big…

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Oh there's mess of them...
 
Star Wars: A New Hope
 
10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
9. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
8. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
7. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
6. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
5. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4. "Sorry about the mess..."
3. "Look at the size of that thing!"
2. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
1. "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."
 
The Empire Strikes Back
 
10. "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
9. "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
8. "There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
7. "But now we must eat. Come, good food, come..."
6. "That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
5. "Hurry up, golden-rod..."
4. "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh kid?"
3. "Possible he came in through the south entrance."
2. "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"
1. "Control, control! You must learn control!"
 
Return of the Jedi
 
10. "Hey, point that thing someplace else."
9. "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master."
8. "I never knew I had it in me."
7. "There is good in him, I've felt it."
6. "Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping -- hold on. Grab it, almost... you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me Chewie."
5. "Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I owe you one."
4. "Back door, huh? Good idea!"
3. "She's gonna blow!"
2. "I think you'll fit in nicely."
1. "Rise, my friend."

Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.
 
A friend of mine is one of the organizers/staff for Balticon, so we got to talking about conventions...
 
Me: I'm gonna have to go to a convention one of these days... but the noise and packed-in-like-sardines crowds just don't appeal to me
Her: Its an experience to be sure
Me: Getting sodomized by a gorilla is also "an experience, to be sure"... but that doesn't mean I'm keen on giving it a try... ;-)
Her: ~snort~ warn me before you let go with a zinger like that, my monitor almost took a coke bath.

[h=5]So there I was, eating my breakfast, while the love-of-my-life was on her laptop...
 
Her: ::watching the Google-doodle:: Oh, look! It must be Henry Ford's birthday.
Me: ::blinking in disbelief, trying to figure out if she's trolling me or something:: Huh?
Her: I mean, they've got an assembly line going, and he pioneered that.
Me: Well, I'm gonna go out on a limb, here, and assume that the doodle might have something to do with it being Mother's Day today!
Her: Oooohhh![/h]

I went and bought myself an iPad today. When asked to name it, there was only one name I could think of...
 
KlyPad.

Re: What Are You Listening To Right Now?
 
I'm listening to a client right now... I've been on the phone with her for 40 minutes so far.

Re: Answers & Questions
 

Q: What was the best thing about burying the grandparents ?
 
A: eDocs

Re: What Are You Listening To Right Now?
 

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
More bumper stickers I like...

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
This should be random enough

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
Jared, my three year old son, is a rabid Dora the Explorer fan... to the point that he calls Boots the Monkey his brother.
 
My mother bought him an episode that had been specifically made for him. She apparently sent the producers some of his information, and included a picture. So today, his episode arrives and he and I and his mother watch it together. Its got the usual simplistic storyline, but the characters talk to him and ask him questions... and his picture appears here and there in the episode itself (including, to his great delight, on the head of a little cartoon boy during the opening credits)...
 
I have no idea how I'm going to get him to go to sleep tonight...

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
This website ((Accidental Video Porn)) is a complete riot. There is no actual nudity or such, but it may not be 100% work safe.
 
These are some of my favorites...
 
http://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~derekyu/pr0n/images/tinytoons.gif
http://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~derekyu/pr0n/images/wow.jpg
This one's for 'Bec
And THIS one's for Samuraiko

Re: Answers & Questions
 

 
Q: Did they ever reveal to what race Yoda belonged?
 
A: What goes up, must come down in little bitty peices.

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
In the Compliment, Envy, and You Don't Know Me threads, I've been noticing a lot of positive feedback on my beard. Is it really that hard to grow one? If so, I feel bad, because I only let myself grow the fool thing through pure laziness.

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
The "bishop" came to our church today. I think he was an impostor. He never once moved diagonally.

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

BUmmer of bad news Klytus. Good luck finding another.

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

On the Seventh Day, God rested... apparantly, He spent that Day drinking, cus he had quite the nasty temper throughout the entire Old Testament. It wasn't until He knocked up the Virgin Mary that He realized He needed to lay off the bottle for a few eons. But being God, He sobered up pretty quick, giving us the God of love and forgiveness we all know today.
 

I'm going to Hell for this, aren't I..?

Re: Answers & Questions
 

Q: Is it true that you went onto the http://www.vatican.va/ message boards and started a flame war with the Pope?
 
A: Doublequickfasttime

Re: Answers & Questions
 

Q: Abandon all this rubbish about the world being round! Just tell us where the four corners of the Earth, are, OK?
 
A: They all got organized and moved as one.

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

As a dear friend of mine once told me: "Forgiving others is what we do for ourselves, but forgiving ourselves is what we do for others."
 
It sounds strange, but it makes sense. By forgiving someone who has wronged us, we are not forgeting what has been done to us, but we are releasing ourselves of the burden of the negative energies the hurt brings us. When it comes to self-forgiveness, the negative energies are still there, yet they bleed over into all other facets of our lives - especially our friends, who are hurt to see someone they hold dear flogging themselves. In forgiving ourselves, we are doing a favor for our friends and loved ones.

Re: Answers & Questions
 

Q: What event causes Doomsday prophets to have fits?
 
A: That's lovely.