Rails

I don't get it.  Maybe I'm missing something.
 
Why punish the team he was supposedly a fan of?  How is it Birmingham City's responsibility that they have (had?) a nutjob as a fan?  If something like that happened in an NFL or MLB game here, would we expect the team to be punished for the actions of a fan?  (Raiders and Chiefs, I'm looking at you.)

"Off the table, Springsteen!"

My brother has adopted an increasingly sedentary lifestyle as he's gotten older. Yesterday I was visiting him and his wife at their house.
 
My brother: "You can't take life for granted. I could get run over by a car tomorrow."
 
His wife: "Only if it drove through the living-room window."

Beached?  ?

enough to make her feel udderly inadequate
 

'tis the season:
 

I work in IT. Our higher-ups require all work to be documented on a ticket.
 
There are some people for whom I will make a ticket and then fix their issue. These are usually the folks who are the easiest to work with, and who generally make their own tickets most of the time.
 
There are some people who I will ask to make a ticket while fixing their issue. These are usually folks who I know will actually make a ticket, or folks that I give the benefit of the doubt that they will.
 
There are some people  who I will ask to make a ticket before fixing their issue. These are usually people who failed to make a ticket when I asked them to before, or folks who feel that they should somehow magically jump to the front of the line by calling the office, catching me when I'm running around the building, and so forth. They also don't understand why I don't give them my work cell number*. A subset of these people are the ones who wait until the last minute to schedule something that could have been done in advance, but is now an "emergency". They then get the standard message that we must fix the stuff that's already ticketed in our queue.
 
There are some people who go out of their way to force a situation where you must help them *right now*, to the detriment of everyone else. The organization's too big for me to go to the CEO, but I can go to a Director or General Manager (or, better yet, their Administrative Assistant--never underestimate just how much power they possess).
 
 
 
*One bright fellow took it as a personal challenge to get my work cell number. He got it,  used it twice, and after I fixed the issues, I had a wonderful talk with his Director's Administrative Assistant, and then his Director. He has not called it again.

You are right, of course, Rufus can't be crated.  He will always find a way to escape from any crate.

What Bolo said.  Some typos are too good to pass up.

But it's so much funnier as a typo. 

I didn't do it intentionally, but I've written a test with a multiple choice section where none of the correct answers are C.

If there's another section of the class taking purportedly the same exam earlier in the day, make sure all their multiple choice answers are C.

Are we going to a-veil ourselves of bridle puns now?

Are we going to a-veil ourselves of bridle puns now?

Chewie's Angels

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Yes,  but it is a stable marriage.    
       

This puts a whole new spin on being a groomsman. 

Hope I remember how to do this right.