The Weapon

Well hate to win by default but here it is.

"Remember what happened the last time we trusted a time-traveler?  Of course not because he altered history to cover up how badly he did us over."

<transcript of conversation recorded from a bug in the earphones of a Galactic Arms Inc. spy in Combined Defences Inc. we do not believe he managed to pass on the information to his paymasters, nor that CD is aware we have this tape> S: "So they're going to do it.  They're going to attack Planet 616 with their new suits.  After they conquer it the Emporer will pretend that the attack was his idea, just to add territory and pretend he's in control." M: "But that's treason!  Surely Galactic Arms can't just start wars to sell it's buggy, overpriced powersuits?" S:  "They've staked so much on this contract, and the Nine Gods know that the more tests are done the more the new Demigod suits will be shown to be slower, harder to maintain and have less endurance than our Streetfighters.  Combat against a low-tech world like, what was it called 'terra'? is the only test it might pass with flying colours." X:  "What if they faced stiffer opposition?  If they got a bloody nose they'd have to admit their suits are rubbish, and the Empire would finally select the better option." M:  "If you mean these 'superheroes' I doubt there are enough of them to make a difference.  Besides if they did lose to them, they'd just claim the superheroes weren't a fair test, that they were too powerful." X:  "But what if they lost to our Streetfighters, particularly in the hands of untrained natives?  Our suits are intuitive enough that even without training they are effective.  These creatures have a natural talent for extreme violence.  They will be facing, Guard units, famous for selecting only the most politically connected incompetents.  Even outnumbered, our suits would still have a chance." M:  "While the Streetfighters aren't judged good enough for the army, we'll never be allowed to sell them to others, particularly not a world that hasn't even achieved starflight.  Besides they couldn't even use  the automanual." X:  "There are several 616ers in mercenary or bandity units amoung the starlanes.  The automanual can use over 6 million forms of communication 'English' the most common language on 616 is one of them.  Presumably that's why the raiders who broke in here took them, because they could sell them to people on their homeworld." M:  "Are you insane?  Nobody will believe that raiders broke into a facility like this, took 3 prototypes and didn't even kill a single guard." S:  "That reminds me, I have to go now.  Those birds I was telling you about, the ones that cost me sleep ever night?  I've found their nests and I'm going to shooting." M: and X: together "Good hunting then.".   <footsteps, then sounds of high energy weapons fire and several screams.  One of the screams is from the wearer of the earphones, transmission is then cut off>   In September 20__ a group of soldiers from the ____ Empire landed on Earth with the intention of causing an incident to justify war and demonstrate the usefuless of the new Demigod powersuits.  Their officers were bribed by the Galactic Arms corportation.  They attacked a small township and military base and were achieving easy victory.  Several of the townsfolk resisted with hunting weapons, naturally these were ineffective.  However three prototype powersuits emerged from a nearby cave, walking under automatic mode.  Each approached one of the resisting townsfolk and offered a "Free Trial" of the new technology.  With these suits the Demigod suits were defeated, although it was a close run thing.     Military officials then demanded that the suits be turned over.  The suits however only recognised their users as legitimate owners.  The townsfolk argued that the powersuits counted as "weapons for efficiency or preservation of a well-regulated militia".  Since one of the things that militias are supposed to do is repel invasions and since the suits in the hands of a local militiamen* did this, clearly the qualify.  The local military commander decided he didn't want a firefight, which the townsfolk were clearly edging towards.  He pretended he had no idea who had the suits or where they went.  This despite one of them clearly being his cousin.  Thus was born "The Iron Militia", consisting of "Hardhead", "Fastshot" and "Sniper" or Ed, Harry and Cletus as they're know around town.     The suits have limited self-direction abilities.  They can follow simple commands like "Hide", "Come here", "Suit up", "Shoot the guy in red" etc.  They can run about 200 kph, are relatively stealthy, firepower and armor are about twice as good as a modern Earth tank  and they have good jumping capability (500m+).  They do require some maintaince but are capable of synthesising their own spares from base metals and plastics.  Full instructions on how to maintain them are in the automanual.    The IM has so far not done too much crimefighting, but have fought with several villains that came to the area to steal from the army base or lie low.     *  Technically all ablebodied males between 18 and 45 are part of the militia in the USA.

Well hate to win by default but here it is.

<transcript of conversation recorded from a bug in the earphones of a Galactic Arms Inc. spy in Combined Defences Inc. we do not believe he managed to pass on the information to his paymasters, nor that CD is aware we have this tape> S: "So they're going to do it.  They're going to attack Planet 616 with their new suits.  After they conquer it the Emporer will pretend that the attack was his idea, just to add territory and pretend he's in control." M: "But that's treason!  Surely Galactic Arms can't just start wars to sell it's buggy, overpriced powersuits?" S:  "They've staked so much on this contract, and the Nine Gods know that the more tests are done the more the new Demigod suits will be shown to be slower, harder to maintain and have less endurance than our Streetfighters.  Combat against a low-tech world like, what was it called 'terra'? is the only test it might pass with flying colours." X:  "What if they faced stiffer opposition?  If they got a bloody nose they'd have to admit their suits are rubbish, and the Empire would finally select the better option." M:  "If you mean these 'superheroes' I doubt there are enough of them to make a difference.  Besides if they did lose to them, they'd just claim the superheroes weren't a fair test, that they were too powerful." X:  "But what if they lost to our Streetfighters, particularly in the hands of untrained natives?  Our suits are intuitive enough that even without training they are effective.  These creatures have a natural talent for extreme violence.  They will be facing, Guard units, famous for selecting only the most politically connected incompetents.  Even outnumbered, our suits would still have a chance." M:  "While the Streetfighters aren't judged good enough for the army, we'll never be allowed to sell them to others, particularly not a world that hasn't even achieved starflight.  Besides they couldn't even use  the automanual." X:  "There are several 616ers in mercenary or bandity units amoung the starlanes.  The automanual can use over 6 million forms of communication 'English' the most common language on 616 is one of them.  Presumably that's why the raiders who broke in here took them, because they could sell them to people on their homeworld." M:  "Are you insane?  Nobody will believe that raiders broke into a facility like this, took 3 prototypes and didn't even kill a single guard." S:  "That reminds me, I have to go now.  Those birds I was telling you about, the ones that cost me sleep ever night?  I've found their nests and I'm going to shooting." M: and X: together "Good hunting then.".   <footsteps, then sounds of high energy weapons fire and several screams.  One of the screams is from the wearer of the earphones, transmission is then cut off>   In September 20__ a group of soldiers from the ____ Empire landed on Earth with the intention of causing an incident to justify war and demonstrate the usefuless of the new Demigod powersuits.  Their officers were bribed by the Galactic Arms corportation.  They attacked a small township and military base and were achieving easy victory.  Several of the townsfolk resisted with hunting weapons, naturally these were ineffective.  However three prototype powersuits emerged from a nearby cave, walking under automatic mode.  Each approached one of the resisting townsfolk and offered a "Free Trial" of the new technology.  With these suits the Demigod suits were defeated, although it was a close run thing.     Military officials then demanded that the suits be turned over.  The suits however only recognised their users as legitimate owners.  The townsfolk argued that the powersuits counted as "weapons for efficiency or preservation of a well-regulated militia".  Since one of the things that militias are supposed to do is repel invasions and since the suits in the hands of a local militiamen* did this, clearly the qualify.  The local military commander decided he didn't want a firefight, which the townsfolk were clearly edging towards.  He pretended he had no idea who had the suits or where they went.  This despite one of them clearly being his cousin.  Thus was born "The Iron Militia", consisting of "Hardhead", "Fastshot" and "Sniper" or Ed, Harry and Cletus as they're know around town.     The suits have limited self-direction abilities.  They can follow simple commands like "Hide", "Come here", "Suit up", "Shoot the guy in red" etc.  They can run about 200 kph, are relatively stealthy, firepower and armor are about twice as good as a modern Earth tank  and they have good jumping capability (500m+).  They do require some maintaince but are capable of synthesising their own spares from base metals and plastics.  Full instructions on how to maintain them are in the automanual.    The IM has so far not done too much crimefighting, but have fought with several villains that came to the area to steal from the army base or lie low.     *  Technically all ablebodied males between 18 and 45 are part of the militia in the USA.

<transcript of conversation recorded from a bug in the earphones of a Galactic Arms Inc. spy in Combined Defences Inc. we do not believe he managed to pass on the information to his paymasters, nor that CD is aware we have this tape> S: "So they're going to do it.  They're going to attack Planet 616 with their new suits.  After they conquer it the Emporer will pretend that the attack was his idea, just to add territory and pretend he's in control." M: "But that's treason!  Surely Galactic Arms can't just start wars to sell it's buggy, overpriced powersuits?" S:  "They've staked so much on this contract, and the Nine Gods know that the more tests are done the more the new Demigod suits will be shown to be slower, harder to maintain and have less endurance than our Streetfighters.  Combat against a low-tech world like, what was it called 'terra'? is the only test it might pass with flying colours." X:  "What if they faced stiffer opposition?  If they got a bloody nose they'd have to admit their suits are rubbish, and the Empire would finally select the better option." M:  "If you mean these 'superheroes' I doubt there are enough of them to make a difference.  Besides if they did lose to them, they'd just claim the superheroes weren't a fair test, that they were too powerful." X:  "But what if they lost to our Streetfighters, particularly in the hands of untrained natives?  Our suits are intuitive enough that even without training they are effective.  These creatures have a natural talent for extreme violence.  They will be facing, Guard units, famous for selecting only the most politically connected incompetents.  Even outnumbered, our suits would still have a chance." M:  "While the Streetfighters aren't judged good enough for the army, we'll never be allowed to sell them to others, particularly not a world that hasn't even achieved starflight.  Besides they couldn't even use  the automanual." X:  "There are several 616ers in mercenary or bandity units amoung the starlanes.  The automanual can use over 6 million forms of communication 'English' the most common language on 616 is one of them.  Presumably that's why the raiders who broke in here took them, because they could sell them to people on their homeworld." M:  "Are you insane?  Nobody will believe that raiders broke into a facility like this, took 3 prototypes and didn't even kill a single guard." S:  "That reminds me, I have to go now.  Those birds I was telling you about, the ones that cost me sleep ever night?  I've found their nests and I'm going to shooting." M: and X: together "Good hunting then.".   <footsteps, then sounds of high energy weapons fire and several screams.  One of the screams is from the wearer of the earphones, transmission is then cut off>   In September 20__ a group of soldiers from the ____ Empire landed on Earth with the intention of causing an incident to justify war and demonstrate the usefuless of the new Demigod powersuits.  Their officers were bribed by the Galactic Arms corportation.  They attacked a small township and military base and were achieving easy victory.  Several of the townsfolk resisted with hunting weapons, naturally these were ineffective.  However three prototype powersuits emerged from a nearby cave, walking under automatic mode.  Each approached one of the resisting townsfolk and offered a "Free Trial" of the new technology.  With these suits the Demigod suits were defeated, although it was a close run thing.     Military officials then demanded that the suits be turned over.  The suits however only recognised their users as legitimate owners.  The townsfolk argued that the powersuits counted as "weapons for efficiency or preservation of a well-regulated militia".  Since one of the things that militias are supposed to do is repel invasions and since the suits in the hands of a local militiamen* did this, clearly the qualify.  The local military commander decided he didn't want a firefight, which the townsfolk were clearly edging towards.  He pretended he had no idea who had the suits or where they went.  This despite one of them clearly being his cousin.  Thus was born "The Iron Militia", consisting of "Hardhead", "Fastshot" and "Sniper" or Ed, Harry and Cletus as they're know around town.     The suits have limited self-direction abilities.  They can follow simple commands like "Hide", "Come here", "Suit up", "Shoot the guy in red" etc.  They can run about 200 kph, are relatively stealthy, firepower and armor are about twice as good as a modern Earth tank  and they have good jumping capability (500m+).  They do require some maintaince but are capable of synthesising their own spares from base metals and plastics.  Full instructions on how to maintain them are in the automanual.    The IM has so far not done too much crimefighting, but have fought with several villains that came to the area to steal from the army base or lie low.     *  Technically all ablebodied males between 18 and 45 are part of the militia in the USA.

The more you spend on developing super-weapons the times you'll have to defend yourself against them.

I hope your supergroup didn't splinter over this incident.  
 
Because with some people puns go against the grain.

The Shadow, with Alec Baldwin and Tim Curry.