Pariah

I haven't played in a while, but we own three different versions of Trivial Pursuit.

What makes a rumor pretty, exactly?

Why do you ask?

What in the world are you even talking about?

Nickelback CDs.

I'm not giving ANYONE all my money, got it?

Q - They cant spel wrds lngr than four ltrs? A - I have a fine Italian sports car capable of traveling at speeds up to one hundred eighty-five miles per hour. Sadly, my driver's license has been revoked, so I no longer use it.

UAVs on loan from the US Air Force.

All that glitters is not gold. (Some of it's rhodium.)

Has anyone checked it?

But Obamacare covers that, right?

Q - My wife's obsession with scrapbooking is driving me insane. What can I do? A - Yes, I just went there.

Isn't the pelvic thrust really the key to that dance?

Q - Mr. _____, what would you accept as a bribe for raising my final grade to an A? A - That's not a reindeer. That's Lady Gaga's new holiday outfit.

A question from the exam I gave my AP students last week: In the film Galaxy Quest, the NSEA Protector uses a ‘beryllium sphere’ as a power source. This is a clear homage to Star Trek’s ‘dilithium crystals’, so it is possible that the beryllium in the spheres also exists in diatomic form as ‘diberyllium’. a. Construct a molecular orbital diagram to determine the bond order for diberyllium (Be2). Could this molecule actually exist? If it did, would it be paramagnetic or diamagnetic? b. Explain in terms of electron configuration why diberyllium is not observed in nature. c. Two possible ions derived from diberyllium are (Be2)+ and (Be2)2-. Which of these would be more stable? Justify your answer.

Alchemy is just an attempt at chemistry without the bother of Conservation of Mass.

Actually, at really long distances, gravity is really the only force worth talking about. And since Cancer and I are in different (although adjacent) time zones....

I wish my students were creative enough to have come up with #16.

It's been said that Babe Ruth's PEDs were beer, cigars, hot dogs, and hookers.

Funny, that's what MY List of Things To Do Tomorrow has on it.

Who's got time for that?

Q - AAAHHH! Math! Make it stop! A - Available now in convenient 50-liter bottles.

Isn't it other people's hands we should be worried about?

Q - Oprah Winfrey is the runaway favorite for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2016? A - That's the only real change we need around here.

Can one make puppets out of lederhosen?