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Lawnmower Boy

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Lawnmower Boy last won the day on July 17 2016

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About Lawnmower Boy

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    On the bench
  • Birthday 07/24/1964

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    http://benchgrass.blogspot.com/

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  1. Hey, hey, hey, fellow grocery store worker. You may be expendable, but I'm too annoying to die! . . . If I pass from handling the dollar coin some 90 year mall walker who isn't changing his routine for a little old thing like a global pandemic, there'll be no-one around here to make fun of Aquaman!
  2. I am 100% down with expending Badger. I, on the other hand, am way too good looking to die. Err, no, that's not right. "Smart." Hmm, no. "Special"? . . . Can we get back to this later?
  3. It's not the weapon, it's the master who uses them. Storytelling 101: He's saving the hit-himself-in-the-crotch scene for the climax.
  4. Someday, somehow, I'm going to get you all for this.
  5. Geez, Hermit, I can't focus on reading the rest of the thread if you're going to get my tummy rumbling like this!
  6. Serves me right for not checking the text. There's definitely Martians in the CU --the people with the advanced civilisation two billion years ago, or 1.8 billion years before the "flowering" of the Milky Way galaxy and its earliest recorded civilisations. My idea was that it was the Martians who created the Basilisk Orb. Its original purpose, was to protect the Milky Way from Qliphotic intrusions by causing fluctuations in the galactic "magic field" that would reduce ambient magic below the levels Qliphotic beings needed to survive. Being not entirely unaware of the huge target the Martians were painting on their back, they planted the Basilisk Orb on the uninhabitable, molten hellworld next in from them from the Sun, where there was no danger of indigenous life eventually evolving to poke the Orb with sticks and set it on fire to see what happens. Best laid plans of cryptic aliens and all of that . . . Something happened to the Martians after that, and while we don't know what that might have been, perhaps some wise and long-lived scholars might. And, what do you know, who should show up in the Sol system just a few years ago other than the Mandaarians. They haven't visited Earth recently, but I fail to see how they could possibly be ignoring the enigma of Mars. Now, the Mandaarians are mostly a very nice people, but there's at least one Mandaarian who has a very different agenda . . .
  7. As a historian, I'm fascinated by the question of what moderns make of the Turakian Age. (I also borrow from Chris Rowley and have them refer to it as the Old Red Eon, as names have power, and it doesn't seem all that healthy to be wandering around saying "Turak" all the time.) I'm pretty sure that they don't know very much, but the way superheroes get around, there's got to be some kind of connection, with people who have travelled back in time to the era, and forward from it, for example. And that's leaving aside all those cursed ruins manufacturing supervillains left and right. Also, there's the issue of survivors. While I've never made very much of the drakines or dwarfs, the Champions Universe if full of space elves (Martians and Mandalorians mainly), and conservation of detail demands some kind of connection. Elves are a huge part of traditional folklore. Turakian elves aren't immortal, but folklore doesn't necessarily say that elves are immortal. It says that they're cut slightly adrift from time, which doesn't really pass in the depths of an elfhill. That bridges the gap of 70,000 years and allows you to have an elf or two (or elf-friend) who remembers the old days of Kal-Turak even without immortal elves from the Lands of Legend. I'll also note yet another inspiration, the elves of Elfquest, who've been marking time for thousands of years in their forest at the beginning of the comic series. Anyway, long and the short of it, I ended up with a Batman pastiche whose Batcave was actually an elf hill, with Alfred as his liaison with an old elf colony upstate. Because hillbilly elves amuse me, that's why. I also like the Drindrish, who just obviously escaped off planet and became some kind of Andre Norton-like "forerunner" people, leaving enigmatic and potentially dangerous ruins and relics behind them on rude, frontier worlds. As for the Mandalorian-Martian-Elf connection, well, you see, it all starts with the Basilisk Orb . . . .
  8. Oh, no. Who would run the country?
  9. Every day is COVID-19 day at the grocery store. You frontline health workers need to suck it up. (NFSW at 1:46. Just so you know before you press play.) . . . So. Youse guys know that this isn't actually the victory condition, right?
  10. Clearly they have been gainfully employed their entire lives, and that is why they do not know how the unemployment insurance programme works.
  11. The Unemployment Insurance top-up is a fixed $600. But what if that leads to the payment exceeding what they were earning in the first place? The poors will all quit and go on unemployment enjoyment! There seems to be some misunderstanding of the way that unemployment insurance works at play here, so I'm sure that it will all be sorted out soon enough.
  12. Some people have a skewed sense of priorities. Second on SLIME'S LOG by the way. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I do taste like chicken.
  13. It's okay, they ended up in the back garden, and they seem pretty pointlessly obvious. When is "Thou Shalt Not Commit Ethnic or Religious Genocide;" or "Thou Shalt Not Inside Deal" ever going to be applicable in the real world, anyway?
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