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Lawnmower Boy

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Everything posted by Lawnmower Boy

  1. Yeah. Some of us work hard every day to be idiots!
  2. That's not a mentally ill Canadian. He's not having a breakdown at the customer service desk.
  3. Welp, now that the long weekend is over and the labs are reporting again. . . As a fun distraction from the ongoing global apocalypse with America as the on-fire-but-ignoring-it cheerleader, I've decided to look at the state active cases and deaths totals as a race. Hey, there's not much else in the way of sports, and, while they represent dead and dying people, they're not me and I don't know them. Unless they're my American cousins. Please God, don't let them be my American cousins. Ahem. The point here is that you can forget about all the death and suffering and poverty and just root for Texas, Georgia, Iowa and Nebraska to keep on climbing those league tables. I'm watching Texas chase Michigan since forever, and I can tell you, my heart's in my mouth. Georgia has further to go, but a few days ago I thought it would never beat Connecticut, but while I don't like the way that the state isn't opening up a solid lead, I have some faith that we're going to hear an "Oh, my bad" upwards correction in a few days that will put Michigan in Georgia's sights. I just know that Virginia can overtake Louisiana, while there's a whole bunch of states that stand to get by Washington in the next week. Including Iowa. There's literally no limits to Iowa's surge up the standings so far. It's showing more leg than Nebraska, and that's saying something. Meanwhile, a big old scolding to Kentucky, Utah, Oregon and Hawaii, all of which have great potential that they're completely squandering. So disappointing.
  4. Just spitballing here, but have you guys considered nationalizing your healthcare industry?
  5. Youth is wasted on the young and that's why I'm ripping if from their veins and discarding their drained carcasses.
  6. It sounds to me like you guys tried to turn off the main drag into the posh Shaughnessy neighbourhood. The street grid has been designed to keep you lot out, thank you very much. For some reason two major north-south bike routes and one east west are threaded through the same area, and that's fine. I don't get it, but I do enjoy the quiet commute through the nice houses.
  7. British Columbia, you darn hillbilly! And you should work on your French. It's the language of love.
  8. Well, I can think of at least one other very nice oceanside province you could have chosen. But don't worry, I'm not offended. You do you. ..... Okay, maybe a bit offended.
  9. Not angry, just deeply, deeply disappointed.
  10. Riders of the Storm . . .
  11. I thought that was Gryffindor?
  12. Hold on here a minute. The other day I was on in front when I heard a neighbour refer to "the United S--tshow of America," and it shook me up a bit. As an ordinarily partisan person, I was taking a certain amount of unholy pleasure in the egg on Donald Trump's face, but this has gone way, way too far. I'm glad to see that my friends here on the Hero Boards aren't going as crazy partisan as some, and observing that since the deaths in the United States haven't gone as high as some have predicted, the whole social-distancing/shelter in place thing was unnecessary. But. . . i) The United States has already seen 813,000 COVID-19 cases and 45,000 deaths. A reasonable extrapolation takes this forward to deaths in the six figure range, but only if social distancing measures remain in place. So far, no jurisdiction has been so bold as to end social distancing prematurely --and, make no mistake, it would be premature to do this in the United States right now-- but Italy, which implemented its lock down too late, has seen 60,000 deaths. By simple extrapolation, that would correspond to 350,000 dead Americans. I hope that we can all agree that that is completely unacceptable. ii) Comparisons with the East Asian countries, which had institutional experience, cultural adaptation, favourable geography, and a timely response, is idle fantasy. Even had the United States had those advantages, the moment when this could have been Singapore, even assuming that Singapore's late spike is contained, is long gone. iii) Texas, today, is reporting 20,200 cases and 517 deaths in the familiar pattern of exponential growth beginning to damp off after two weeks of lockdown. The distribution of cases is statewide. This is uncontrolled community spread. The only reason that the death totals seem reasonable is that this is comparatively early in the pandemic. Many more of those 20,200 will die, and more will catch the disease, and more will die. Tracking and monitoring is impossible in this situation. The only way that a jurisdiction can move to a managed reopening is by first getting new cases down to the point where each one can be identified and the contacts traced. That is not possible here, and won't be possible for several weeks, at least. Any scaling back of the lockdown will just throw away the gains already made. Again, the Italian case shows what can happen. You don't need complex models to understand what is going to happen to any jurisdiction so foolish as to try to ride out a COVID19 pandemic on the scale of Italy's. You just say to yourself, "Like Italy, but worse." iv) When the United States was attacked at Pearl Harbour, the result was, in the short term, massive unemployment. This ended as labour shifted to war work. But it also shifted because a full 10% of the American population was drafted, and was essentially paid to do nothing productive for five years. All of this was paid for by the familiar mechanics of war finance, and the United States came of the experience the stronger for it. I'm not seeing why the coronavirus has to be different. I can see why one might choose for it to be different. The immediate postwar era was the golden age of what Keynes called "the euthanasia of the rentier, year after year of inflation higher than interest rates and high taxes to contain inflation. And yet it is also remembered as a period of prosperity for the middle and working classes --an era in which wealth inequality fell to historically low levels and in which we saw unprecedented social and technological progress. I say we choose that future. Since it also happens to be the future in which many fewer people die, it strikes me as a no-brainer. That being said, I don't have $10 billion in the bank subject to the insidious wealth tax of inflation-above-interest-returns, so maybe I'm just a special interest.
  13. No, no, nope. That's it. 2020 has lost me. I am taking it back to the store and yelling at the manager until they replace it with 2010.
  14. As long as we get to see Herb Trimpe's Tunnelworld, I'm good.
  15. I'm wrong about stuff all the time, but the protests in Michigan and Ohio smell like astroturf to me. They're too localised to be a response to national trends, and in the wrong states to be a response to local events.
  16. Look, if you didn't want to lose your niece to some stupid political wedge issue, you should have made her not have lupus.
  17. I do hope this isn't the worst, especially since I've had an "almost cough" since last night. Between hard labour, aggressive air conditioning at work, spring pollen, skeleton staffing, and the fact that symptoms aren't progressing, I can hardly justify taking the day off. Just wear my mask and cross my fingers . . . .
  18. There is no "somehow." Toilets can vomit just fine, and I doubt it's the smell that's the first thing you think of when you arrive at the scene.
  19. Hey, hey, hey, fellow grocery store worker. You may be expendable, but I'm too annoying to die! . . . If I pass from handling the dollar coin some 90 year mall walker who isn't changing his routine for a little old thing like a global pandemic, there'll be no-one around here to make fun of Aquaman!
  20. I am 100% down with expending Badger. I, on the other hand, am way too good looking to die. Err, no, that's not right. "Smart." Hmm, no. "Special"? . . . Can we get back to this later?
  21. It's not the weapon, it's the master who uses them. Storytelling 101: He's saving the hit-himself-in-the-crotch scene for the climax.
  22. Someday, somehow, I'm going to get you all for this.
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