BoloOfEarth

1 hour ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

NT: Subtle signs that you're not going to survive the next Godzilla attack.

You realize your name is just "Bystander #5".

NT:  To save yourself, you decide to give yourself an actual name.  What is your new name?

13 hours ago, Bazza said:

Still one of the best Christmas songs.

Gah!  The dreaded Heart Transplant Song!

43 minutes ago, unclevlad said:

Is there a bottom to the Fox News well of debasement?

It goes farther than debasement.  Even past desubbasement.

Tentacles the Warrior claims to be the offspring of the Greek god Jupiter and the female Great Old One, Scathach. He is incredibly strong, unbelievably resilient... and about as bright as a 15-watt bulb.

Warden:  Your turn, Johnny.  The priest you requested has arrived.
"Priest" (actually one of Johnny's gang members):  Are you ready, my son?

Johnny:  I'm ready if you are, father.

"Priest" (opens Bible to show Johnny it's hollowed out and holds the ammo drum for a Tommy gun):  Dominus obiscum.  Nabisco. Es spiritu sanctum.

Prisoner #1:  So long, Johnny.  (passes Johnny part of a Tommy gun)

"Priest":  They gustuvus.  Me gustuvus.  You gustuvus.  We missed the bus.  They missed the bus.

Prisoner #2:  Be brave, Johnny (passes him another part of a Tommy gun)

"Priest":  When's the next bus?  

Johnny:  Always, Nails.

"Priest":  Summa cum laude.  Magna cum laude.  The radios go loudy.

Prisoner #3:  Good luck, Johnny (passes him another part of a Tommy gun)

"Priest":  Semper fidelis.  Hi fidelis.

Johnny (having a hard time assembling the gun):  Why didn't I take shop?

"Priest":   Post meridian.  Ante meridian.  Uncle merdian.  All the little meridians.

Prisoner #4:  Goodbye, Johnny (passes him another part to a Tommy gun)

Johnny:  Bye, Rock.

"Priest":   The Magna Carta.  Master charge-a.

Prisoner #5:  Spit in his eye, Johnny (passes him final part to a Tommy gun)

"Priest":  Doom vitalis.  Lots of vitalis.  (passes Johnny the ammo drum)

Warden:  Do you have any last words, Johnny?  (turns around to face Johnny)

Johnny (racks a round into the Tommy gun's chamber and points it at the warden)

Warden (raises hands):  Well said!

8 hours ago, Pariah said:

"They're hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement!"

"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!"

Sure, kill the joke.  

6 hours ago, Lord Liaden said:

That's a lawsuit from a postal carrier waiting to happen.

But when they try to serve the court summons, it gets instantly shredded...

2 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

NT: Real-life candidates for a good old-fashioned Scrooging. 

Elon Musk.  To be visited by the ghosts of Christmas Past (Twitter), Present (X), and Future (Bankruptcy).

Woot!  We get to see Ted again!  And by proxy, Emperor Norton!  Bonus points!

A mom is outraged that Moms for Liberty used her daughter in a harebrained scheme to ban a book (msn.com)

Quote

Earlier this month, Jennifer Tapley and Tom Gurski (two members of a Florida chapter of Moms for Liberty) showed up at a local sheriff’s office to report the librarian at an area high school was sharing “pornography” with minors. After a 17-year-old student checked out the book, they claimed its availability to minors was a felony under Florida law.

 

But it has now come to light that the entire incident was a plan orchestrated by Moms for Liberty. Gurski told WEAR News that a teacher asked the student to check out the book, Storm and Fury by Jennifer Armentrout. The teacher then handed the book over to Moms for Liberty to be reported. 

 

A source told Popular Information that the teacher was Vicki Baggett, who teaches English in nearby Escambia County. Baggett has become notorious for her crusade to ban over 100 books from Escambia school libraries. Baggett has submitted almost every single one of the 150 book challenges being reviewed by the Escambia School District this year. Many of the challenged books are by Black authors or deal with LGBTQ+ topics.

It seems to me that, if their position is that the book in question is pornographic, then the teacher who asked the student to check the book out of the library should be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor.  Add her to the sexual offenders list.  Just sayin'.

14 hours ago, Pariah said:

When I die, I want my ashes pressed into a phonograph record.

 

Consider it my vinyl request.

You always wanted one last groove, eh?

1 hour ago, Hermit said:

Hermit have hit 25,000! The half way mark! PUNY NANOWRIMO! YOU SEEK TO CHALLENGE HERMIT?

Rarh! Hermit care nothing for Plot! Hermit no need grammar! Hermit no kare spellin!

No, Hermit make WORD THINGS! HE MAKE WORD THINGS GO!

 

*storms off to desert mesa amid the wreckage and debris of the English language*

Ah, I just read Hermit's latest installment on the Fish Guy thread.  It involved Pogo.  So that explains Hermit going around the bend.

And yes, HERMIT KEEP MAKE WORD THINGS GO!

I gave the latest installment a Like, though it does seem a bit short for a Pogo adventure intro.  (I kid, Hermit, I kid.)

I thought it was very good.  It had action, humor, good character development / background expose, and captured the characters involved quite well, IMO.  Thank you, and I'm looking forward to the next installment.  Who's up to bat next?

Or maybe the entire head?

The Head of Vecna (rpglibrary.org)

16 hours ago, Clonus said:

16 hours ago, Lord Liaden said:

Pretty tasty.

Then again, if they're redefining pi as 5, they might also redefine pie to be a liver and brussel sprout casserole.

2 minutes ago, Cygnia said:

I'm surprised they didn't have 18.  Nickelback.

7 minutes ago, Starlord said:

I've started hearing xmas music already

 

 

Here is the cure for that:

1 hour ago, BarretWallace said:

I've either never caught it, or had it and never knew it.  I've been tested several times and came back negative each time.

I'm the same.  

1 hour ago, Old Man said:

I'm up to six shots now.  Seriously, how many will it take before my mutant powers manifest?  I'm not even slightly magnetic.

Have you asked if they can add some spider venom to the vaccine?  Maybe that would work.

1 hour ago, Cygnia said:

I'd settle for instant 5G...

I would dearly love to have the ability to hit somebody else with 5G of force.

2 hours ago, Cancer said:

NT: Signs your cat has learned how to open doors that you closed and latched.  (This afternoon, I am on the verge of deciding this must be the case with one of our cats, though I haven't seen her actually do it.)

You find her sitting in your car, halfway through hot-wiring it.

5 hours ago, death tribble said:

Colin Briarley, Master of Monopoly !

(snip)

What kind of fiend would empower someone to do this? Conspiracy theorists point to that exclamation mark as absolute proof but as yet he has not confirmed it and no-one has managed any conclusive proof.  

You know, it's taken me this many years to realize that Doctor Nymax!'s name is Xamyn (pronounced "examine") backwards.  As in, what many doctors do with their patients.  Well played, sir tribble, well played.

Shark Pool

Philip Cousteau is the water-based member of Pauline's Perils.  He has a powered battlesuit that looks vaguely like a shark, whose sonic suite was designed to command marine life, though it can deafen or cause powerful headaches as well.  (It also has a frickin' laser beam attached to its head, but that's another story.)  He's far from the most powerful member of the team, which gets him a lot of ribbing from his teammates.

- - - - - - - - - -

New team:  The Game Masters

Multimillionaire octogenarian Brandon Milley was driven around the bend when he was forcably retired from his international game company, so he decided to use his money to finance a supervillain team.  He didn't want hard-core deadly criminals, so this team of six (based on various board / dice / card games) is not generally taken too seriously by the superhero community.

1 hour ago, Hermit said:

Today, we let our dog pass out of pain and out of this world. So I've not gotten any real writing done and not sure I will today.

My deepest condolences.  They truly are a blessing in our lives and losing them hurts deeply.  I hope you spend time recalling all the great times you had with your furry family member. 

4 hours ago, Pattern Ghost said:

It has begun! First chapter started. Our hero has washed ashore. Because that's never been done before, amIright?

Washed ashore?  Hope the hero had some shampoo and soap handy.  Still, seems an odd way to start a book with a little oceanside bathing.