BoloOfEarth

Once you pop, you just can't stop!
 
 

I have heard some complaints about Harrison Ford being too old to be in the latest Indiana Jones movie.  But honestly, an 80-year old professor not retiring is the most accurate part of the whole franchise.

A police officer used to park across the street from a local bar and would watch everybody leaving the bar.  Those that looked the least bit drunk, he would pull over as soon as they got out of the bar's parking lot.  
 
After a few weeks of this, he was sitting in his normal place when he saw a man come staggering out of the bar.  The officer watched as the man made his way to a car and tried repeatedly to unlock the door before realizing he was at the wrong car.  Staggering to the correct car, he finally got the door unlocked but fell into the back seat.  Unable to start the engine from there, he eventually laid down and appeared to pass out.
 
The police officer decided he was going to nail this guy, so he watched and waited as other bar patrons walked out, got into their cars, and drove off.  Finally, the man in the car sat up, climbed into the front seat, started the car, and pulled out of the parking lot.  Of course, the police officer hit the siren and lights, and pulled the man over.  
 
The officer gave the driver a breathalyzer test, and it came out 0.0 - completely sober.  Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken".
 
"I doubt it", said the man. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

A police officer used to park across the street from a local bar and would watch everybody leaving the bar.  Those that looked the least bit drunk, he would pull over as soon as they got out of the bar's parking lot.  
 
After a few weeks of this, he was sitting in his normal place when he saw a man come staggering out of the bar.  The officer watched as the man made his way to a car and tried repeatedly to unlock the door before realizing he was at the wrong car.  Staggering to the correct car, he finally got the door unlocked but fell into the back seat.  Unable to start the engine from there, he eventually laid down and appeared to pass out.
 
The police officer decided he was going to nail this guy, so he watched and waited as other bar patrons walked out, got into their cars, and drove off.  Finally, the man in the car sat up, climbed into the front seat, started the car, and pulled out of the parking lot.  Of course, the police officer hit the siren and lights, and pulled the man over.  
 
The officer gave the driver a breathalyzer test, and it came out 0.0 - completely sober.  Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken".
 
"I doubt it", said the man. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

I finished the first two seasons of Hogan's Heroes (got the complete series on DVD for Christmas).  Lots of fun, and it's always great to see Schultz and Klink doing their clueless thing.  Especially enjoyed the episodes with Colonel Crittenden guest-starring.  There are a surprising number of episodes per season, so I still have quite a few more to go.  
 
I've also been watching Monk - am currently into Season 7.  (Never liked Sharona, so I started watching the seasons after Natalie replaced her.)

Favorite comment:  
"Get outta here with your sensible, measured & informed response to rampant speculation.  This is THE INTERNET, g*******! Rampant speculation is what we do!!"

My go-to response when someone's (justifiably) complaining about something major is, "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"

Share this, please.
 
 

My go-to response when someone's (justifiably) complaining about something major is, "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"

Favorite comment:  
"Get outta here with your sensible, measured & informed response to rampant speculation.  This is THE INTERNET, g*******! Rampant speculation is what we do!!"

Sooo... back when my wife and I were dating but I hadn't yet proposed (but was thinking about doing so), we ate out at a Chinese restaurant.  Her cookie's fortune was "Make up your mind and do what you want," and she joked that it should have been my fortune (a not-so-subtle hint that she was ready for me to propose). 
 
Unbeknownst to her, I pocketed that fortune.  Then, when we were planning to go to another Chinese restaurant for her birthday a few months later, I wrote my proposal on the back of that fortune, bought a box of fortune cookies, and replaced the fortune in one of the cookies with that one, putting that fortune cookie into a sandwich bag in my pocket to pull a switcheroo after dinner.  (helpful hint - don't do this several days in advance, or the cookie gets stale)
 
You can imagine my irritation when the waitress brought the fortune cookies, and they were both sealed in plastic as above (but thankfully without the fortune showing).  Luckily, I was able to grab and unwrap both, then switch the cookie out and give her the right one.
 
My then-girlfriend opened it, read the fortune on the front of it, said the *EXACT SAME THING* she had said before, and went to set it down without even noticing my proposal on the back.  I had to practically force her to flip the fortune over and read the proposal. 

As I've said before, there's been significant rot at the core of American society and politics for a long time, but for the most part it was far enough under the surface that most people could ignore it. Trump has brought it up to where it can't be ignored any longer, which is an essential first step to purging it.
 
Think of Trump as being like that stuff you drink to clear out your bowels before a colonoscopy. It tastes foul, and it makes a big mess, but you're clean enough afterward for examination.

Favorite comment:  
"Get outta here with your sensible, measured & informed response to rampant speculation.  This is THE INTERNET, g*******! Rampant speculation is what we do!!"

I have it on good authority the Lions will win.  You see...  Hell has frozen over (at least for the rest of the week).