The Imperial prison transport, Chains of Judgement, so recently 'liberated', is now safely ensconced within the Screaming Vortex warp storm, for certain definitions of 'safe'. Deviant Slaanesh cultist Jrskalooks forward to showing her new allies around the place - she grew up there, after all. But perhaps she'll relax with some of her unholy tomes first.
Rold Dundee: The 'Twilight' series
Jrska: Oh, no, just a few of my favourites - '120 days of Sodom - Scratch & Sniff Edition', and this one... I really like this one... lavishly illustrated, half the pages stuck together, describing in exquisite detail how the author took everything good and moral and righteous and perverted them into things so unholy that the universe itself recoiled in horror... it's called "What I Did On My Holidays'
Jrska: We could also watch some old vids... Pacific Rimjob... Bender's Game... Girl With A Pearl Necklace... 9 1/2 Wanks
GM: Saving Ryan's Privates
Jrska: 'Star Whores Episode IV : A New Hole'. That was a good one. Twincest, big black men waving their weapons around, breath denial, and years of argument about premature ejaculation.
Jrska: 'Han shot first'
Anyway - we are currently orbiting the planet Pyrultide, which itself is currently swinging near the labyrinthine ruins of Sacgrave. We have a nearly derelict ship, a tribe of cannibals for a crew, and the freedom of Chaos to do whatever we now wish.
Jrska: We can take the cannibals with us. They can set up a restaurant. Just picture it - you've already got The Fat Duck, now we can have The Long Pig. On the other hand, pork's nice, but I prefer veal. *waits in vain for a response from the others* Ah well. We can't ALL be quick on the uptake.
Alas, yet another individual claims credit for our survival of the last 200 years - the ancient, and badly mutated, Navigator of the Chains of Judgement. Exactly how many people have managed to survive 200 years on this ship, anyway? He demands we acquiesce to his own plans, and has already signalled to Sacgrave as part of his scheme to get a proper crew, in return for some mercenary work by Cassius (and the rest of us).
Mutant Navigator : How do you think you have survived the last 200 years? That you have not been cast upon the reefs of the Warp?
Rold Dundee: Gellar field.
Jrska: Stasis tanks are good for that too.
GM: ....I haven't thought of a name for this guy.
Unnamed Mutant Navigator : Names are unimportant.
All: *Applaud the GM*
Rold Dundee's player: 'I haven't used my name in 200 years, I've forgotten.'
Regardless, Cassius does not take kindly to any attempts to enlist his service - understandable, given the way the Imperium betrayed him and the Emperor's vision. He shoots up the communication monitor. Jrska politely makes herself scarce - such lack of self-control does not bode well for her own plans for the former Space Marine.
Jrska: Violence towards inanimate objects is alarming. Violence towards animate objects is amusing.
The Navigator backs down after Cassius sets out to hunt him down through the ship and demonstrate the Navigator's error of judgement.
Cassius: He doesn't need his arms and legs to navigate.
Me: He just misjudged what you were capable of - we already know you're capable of superhuman levels of Denial.
Nonetheless, we do need more crew. Or any crew. And Sacgrave is a good source for anything a warband might need. We decide to meet with this mystery contact on Sacgrave anyway.
How to make PCs paranoid.
GM: One of the lighters is strangely untouched.
Cassius: Then let us not marr its pristine condition.
Jrska: We can tell if this part of town is Slaaneshi or Nurglite by counting bathhouses. Slaanesh has them, Nurgle needs them.
Jrska: Flamers would be quite useful against followers of Nurgle.
Cassius: And the followers of Slaanesh will just enjoy it.
The contact, Garath, has sent a beautiful slave to meet us at the landing zone. Jrska, of course, ogles. As she points out, the only reason to own and send such an attractive slave is to show her off and make others jealous, and it would be rude to not respond.
Jrska: Lead the way. You! Manservant! Carry Lord Cassius' luggage!
Rold Dundee: But he doesn't have any.
Jrska: Just pick up something and carry that.
Jrska: We have come to meet with you, in accordance with the prophecy.
Rold Dundee OOC: What prophecy?
Jrska OOC: Their isn't one. But there's no way it can hurt us if they think there is.
Cassius : I need crew for my ship.
Garath, with suspicious innocence: Oh?
Jrska OOC: *sigh* Anyone want to bet we still have a ship when we come back? .... No takers?
Jrska 'speaking for her lord Cassius', negotiates the deal - we recover something called the Tyrant's Cord - a potent symbol of mastery of the Pox Tribes of Pyrultide - and either sell it to Garath, or at least ensure it doesn't fall into the hands of his rivals. Cassius growls his discontent for the bargain - after all, he'll be taking most of the risk. Jrska translate this into more polite language.
Jrska: Please understand, my lord is of mercurial temper. Master Garath, what incentive can you offer to ensure we do not simply sell this information to your rivals?
Real Life: *Lights fade out ominously*
The understandably irked Garath now insists we only sell the Cord to him, but he will arrange good credit for us at the markets on Sacgrave. Shopping Time!
I do shock my fellow gamers at one point. They've known me for years, and I don't think they ever realised how manipulative I can be when I put my mind to it.
Me: Jrska is getting you a best quality armour polishing kit, so you'll owe her a favour, and which you can use to better serve Lord Cassius.
Other players: *Eyes bug out*
Me: Slaanesh cultist - it's all social manipulation.
Some amusement in the markets, when Jrska gets three locals to argue amongst themselves as to which one is selling a genuine treasure map - all of them, apparently - and when Rold is provoked into a fight with a lightning-hurling mercenary, and that rapidly escalates. It turns out that the mercs were simply testing us, and are duly impressed. They are not, however, impressed by Cassius' offer of employment
Mercenaries : Yeah, but will you pay us?
Cassius: All the loot you can carry.
Dundee's player: 'Aw, but we're all DEX-based'
Jrska: I didn't get to sing all the songs I was hoping to.
Cassius: For which we are grateful