CrosshairCollie

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Pickup D&D game tonight. I decide to do something I rarely do, a pretty mindlessly direct greataxe-wielding Barbarian. I hold off my one-and-only berserk rage until the end of the night ... and we encounter the main bad guy.
 
I get the best initiative.
I rage.
I charge.
I attack.
I hit critically.
My 3d12 damage comes up 10,11,12.
Counting my Strength and Power Attack at the time, the damage came up to 53.
Fight over.
 
Everybody just kind of stares at the minis and grid map for a moment. There's an uncomfortable silence, and then ...
 
Me: "Looks like the crit hit the fan.":D

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
The characters in question: Graydon, a disguised Drow Ranger (slaver *bleah*), Aerian (an elven scout), and Thunder (a sorcerer/pugilist).
 
Aerian (to Graydon): "You kind of remind me of my mother."
Graydon: "I hope I don't look like her."
Aerian: "No, she was much prettier."
Thunder: "Your (boobs) are bigger, though."
 
And later, there was uproarious applause as I launched into the DM's big badguy (well, lieutenant, but supposedly the scariest guy who was there), and successfully took him out in one punch. At which point, he exploded (guess his boss didn't want him taken prisoner) ...
Me: "I'm going to stand there with that 'Daffy Duck Just Got Shot In The Face' look for a minute."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

 
"Ladies and gentlemen, if you look out your window you should be able to see up close a school of bottlenose dolphins."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Old one's from the Dragon's Claw (a decade ago? Gawd, I'm getting old)
 
We were playing CoC during a windstorm, the lights went out. Roger, avatar of sound FX, saw an opportunity...
The instant the lights came on he was leaning over the table and over the player opposite him (who has a PRE of roughly 4, lol) and screamed: "Kali !" We thought Howard would wet himself.
 
A player who shall remain unnamed was playing an electrically based character- they were about to journey to another star system in an unknown ship and someone started asking if we should pack supplies (food/water) since it would take about 2 weeks.
The player was already standing and said " Don't worry about me I got it covered." and touched the bare bulb in the ceiling socket...which apparently was very loose and caused the light to dim and made a good buzzing sound. All the players gave him a really funny look.
 
Not particularly funny, but very fond memories...

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

 
DC comics become entertaining.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
"This is why dwarves and orcs are natural enemies. When they try to work together, it becomes a competition to see who's the bigger testosterone-laden macho idiot."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Character creation session (for a Cyberpunkish game) rather than actual gaming, but we still managed a few good lines.
 
ME: "Okay, let's get this joke out of the way." *stares at Jeff* "Who are you?"
JEFF (making a Bat Moreau): "I'm Batman."
ME: "Okay, now that it's out of our system, we will never. use. that. joke. again."
 
(while describing boostergangs)
Me: "There's a gang that uses cybernetics to emulate comic-book superheroes from the old days. The Superman guy is probably the most chromed-out mofo on the planet. Artificial muscle fiber, subcutaneous body armor, flight system, laser optics, X-ray optics ... anyway, the gang's usual schtick is making businesses pay a 'hero tax' for protection."
(pause)
Me: "They're the X-tortionists."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Character creation session (for a Cyberpunkish game) rather than actual gaming, but we still managed a few good lines.
 
ME: "Okay, let's get this joke out of the way." *stares at Jeff* "Who are you?"
JEFF (making a Bat Moreau): "I'm Batman."
ME: "Okay, now that it's out of our system, we will never. use. that. joke. again."
 
(while describing boostergangs)
Me: "There's a gang that uses cybernetics to emulate comic-book superheroes from the old days. The Superman guy is probably the most chromed-out mofo on the planet. Artificial muscle fiber, subcutaneous body armor, flight system, laser optics, X-ray optics ... anyway, the gang's usual schtick is making businesses pay a 'hero tax' for protection."
(pause)
Me: "They're the X-tortionists."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

 
*looks*
 
Osiris is attempting to attack Pharaoh's tail. Unfortunately, Pharaoh is sitting on the glass coffee table, and Osiris is under it, and he still isn't quite grasping the concept of 'transparency'.
 
*bonk*"Mew!"*bonk*"Mew!"*bonk*"Mew!"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Character creation session (for a Cyberpunkish game) rather than actual gaming, but we still managed a few good lines.
 
ME: "Okay, let's get this joke out of the way." *stares at Jeff* "Who are you?"
JEFF (making a Bat Moreau): "I'm Batman."
ME: "Okay, now that it's out of our system, we will never. use. that. joke. again."
 
(while describing boostergangs)
Me: "There's a gang that uses cybernetics to emulate comic-book superheroes from the old days. The Superman guy is probably the most chromed-out mofo on the planet. Artificial muscle fiber, subcutaneous body armor, flight system, laser optics, X-ray optics ... anyway, the gang's usual schtick is making businesses pay a 'hero tax' for protection."
(pause)
Me: "They're the X-tortionists."

Re: Champions Jargon
 
A new one from this week:
 
CLOSET FIGHT: A fight that takes place in a space so small that you can barely manage a Range Penalty on your attacks. Good for bricks and martial artists, bad for blasters and psionics.
 
FINGERPOKE OF DOOM: Stolen from the WCW 'storyline' (look it up at Wikipedia as 'Fingerpoke of Doom'), this just became our new 'attack that does no damage' line, after Cheshire Cat threw a 12d6 attack at our magnetic character and didn't even muster knockback).
 
THE SUPERHERO OPERATIONS MANUAL: A throwaway bit I invented early in the game that started catching on ... whenever you need a random source of advice, or a reason to follow a convention of the genre ("Why don't we take his mask off?"), it's because the Superhero Operations Manual says so. "Well, when laying face-down on the floor with a ticked off Black Diamond standing over you, the Superhero Operations Manual recommends prayer."
 
Possibly printed by the same publisher that printed the Junior Woodchuck's Guidebook.

Re: Champions Jargon
 
A new one from this week:
 
CLOSET FIGHT: A fight that takes place in a space so small that you can barely manage a Range Penalty on your attacks. Good for bricks and martial artists, bad for blasters and psionics.
 
FINGERPOKE OF DOOM: Stolen from the WCW 'storyline' (look it up at Wikipedia as 'Fingerpoke of Doom'), this just became our new 'attack that does no damage' line, after Cheshire Cat threw a 12d6 attack at our magnetic character and didn't even muster knockback).
 
THE SUPERHERO OPERATIONS MANUAL: A throwaway bit I invented early in the game that started catching on ... whenever you need a random source of advice, or a reason to follow a convention of the genre ("Why don't we take his mask off?"), it's because the Superhero Operations Manual says so. "Well, when laying face-down on the floor with a ticked off Black Diamond standing over you, the Superhero Operations Manual recommends prayer."
 
Possibly printed by the same publisher that printed the Junior Woodchuck's Guidebook.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 
The Ultimate CLOWN.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From tonight's 'Horror' D&D game (the horror didn't come out, hence the single quotes).
 
NPC Necromancer: "I can only hope Wee Jas can forgive me."
Me: "Well, if she won't, ask her brother Hugh."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

 
A loco moron!

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

 
Durak: "I wish those perverts online would stop misinterpretting my 'Fist of Fiacho' nickname."
Feuermacher: "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
Scorpia: "I'm Irish ... why am I named after a desert arthropod?"
Ultrasonique: "Why couldn't I be deaf instead of blind? The man's accent is atrocious!"
Mentalla: "I never thought I'd say this, but these four are thinking too much. Or at least TOO LOUDLY."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Just flashed back to this one from years ago, thanks to the Sanctuary? thread.
 
I've got a kind of brick/martial artist hybrid (not as strong as a true brick, not as quick as a real martial artist), and we catch wind of a crime ... though, curiously, we can't get any information out of it. We decide to do a two-pronged attack; I come in from one side, acting like I've got the stuff to take down everybody while the rest of the team comes in from the other direction. The team's brick tries to toss me over the building to come in from the back, but a messed-up attack roll sends in me in through the skylight (oops).
 
I land pretty much surrounded by Tag, Toe-Tapper, Merry Andrew and Trump Knight of CLOWN (some others were about as well), and the fight starts in earnest. Miraculously, I survive Segment 12, despite getting tagged 'it' by Toe-Tapper; I managed to avoid getting hammered by Tag, avoided an Entangle from Trump Knight, and a pie-in-the-face from Andrew. After that, there's nothing to say but ...
 
"This CLOWN posse really *is* insane."

Re: The Last Word
 
So if L. Marcus gets so depressed he doesn't even want to move, and someone tries to get a rise out of him by stomping on his toes, and one of us gentler sorts (like zornwil) advises against that, is he saying, "Don't you step on our blue Swede's shoes"?
 

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Years ago, we were playing a "space western" -- yup, cowboys in space (and this was long before Firefly was even a gleam in Joss Whedon's eye).
 
In it, there was an alien species that looked like humanoid spiders, who filled a similar niche in the universe as the Chinese immigrants filled in the American west. Some aliens had a little resturant, and we walked in, sat down, and took a look at the menus.
 
Me: Hm... "Flied Lice." God, I hope that's a typo.
 
Bill.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Pickup D&D game tonight. I decide to do something I rarely do, a pretty mindlessly direct greataxe-wielding Barbarian. I hold off my one-and-only berserk rage until the end of the night ... and we encounter the main bad guy.
 
I get the best initiative.
I rage.
I charge.
I attack.
I hit critically.
My 3d12 damage comes up 10,11,12.
Counting my Strength and Power Attack at the time, the damage came up to 53.
Fight over.
 
Everybody just kind of stares at the minis and grid map for a moment. There's an uncomfortable silence, and then ...
 
Me: "Looks like the crit hit the fan.":D

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Pickup D&D game tonight. I decide to do something I rarely do, a pretty mindlessly direct greataxe-wielding Barbarian. I hold off my one-and-only berserk rage until the end of the night ... and we encounter the main bad guy.
 
I get the best initiative.
I rage.
I charge.
I attack.
I hit critically.
My 3d12 damage comes up 10,11,12.
Counting my Strength and Power Attack at the time, the damage came up to 53.
Fight over.
 
Everybody just kind of stares at the minis and grid map for a moment. There's an uncomfortable silence, and then ...
 
Me: "Looks like the crit hit the fan.":D

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Pickup D&D game tonight. I decide to do something I rarely do, a pretty mindlessly direct greataxe-wielding Barbarian. I hold off my one-and-only berserk rage until the end of the night ... and we encounter the main bad guy.
 
I get the best initiative.
I rage.
I charge.
I attack.
I hit critically.
My 3d12 damage comes up 10,11,12.
Counting my Strength and Power Attack at the time, the damage came up to 53.
Fight over.
 
Everybody just kind of stares at the minis and grid map for a moment. There's an uncomfortable silence, and then ...
 
Me: "Looks like the crit hit the fan.":D

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Pickup D&D game tonight. I decide to do something I rarely do, a pretty mindlessly direct greataxe-wielding Barbarian. I hold off my one-and-only berserk rage until the end of the night ... and we encounter the main bad guy.
 
I get the best initiative.
I rage.
I charge.
I attack.
I hit critically.
My 3d12 damage comes up 10,11,12.
Counting my Strength and Power Attack at the time, the damage came up to 53.
Fight over.
 
Everybody just kind of stares at the minis and grid map for a moment. There's an uncomfortable silence, and then ...
 
Me: "Looks like the crit hit the fan.":D

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

 
"Talk to the Penis Puppet."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Pickup D&D game tonight. I decide to do something I rarely do, a pretty mindlessly direct greataxe-wielding Barbarian. I hold off my one-and-only berserk rage until the end of the night ... and we encounter the main bad guy.
 
I get the best initiative.
I rage.
I charge.
I attack.
I hit critically.
My 3d12 damage comes up 10,11,12.
Counting my Strength and Power Attack at the time, the damage came up to 53.
Fight over.
 
Everybody just kind of stares at the minis and grid map for a moment. There's an uncomfortable silence, and then ...
 
Me: "Looks like the crit hit the fan.":D