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CrosshairCollie

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  1. Like
    CrosshairCollie got a reaction from Samuraiko in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     
    During a fantasy game (it's not D&D, but has many trappings thereof), GM trying to work out, with a player, how her half-elf met a halfling in the party.
     
    DM: "Well, the halfling lands are between the elves and humans ... you could just hang out there. The halflings aren't judgemental; they don't care if you're impure."
    Me: "They don't care about your genetics, either."
     
    After my character, a monk/mystic warrior type, uses one of those 'wagon-wheels-with-candles-style-hanging-chandeliers' to do the classing swinging-kick move.
    Me: "I learned how to fight from Jackie Chan."
    Next round, I flub my acrobatics check to perform a stunt, and slam shoulder-first into a support beam, taking damage.
    Other Player: "Yep, you definitely learned how to fight from Jackie Chan ... mostly his outtakes reels."
  2. Like
    CrosshairCollie got a reaction from lemming in NGD Scenes from a Hat   
    Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
     

     
    "Well, I was on my way out the door when I saw my cat licking himself ... you know that big stretch where that one hind leg is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY up in the air? And I'm watching this, and I'm all, y'know, that actually looks kind of interesting, so I'm all, y'know, what the hell, lemme give it a shot. So I lay down and try to stretch my leg out, and I get this godawful charlie horse, but it's not on my calf, it's in my groin. And really, after that, you just can't walk fast enough to get to the car on time."
  3. Like
    CrosshairCollie got a reaction from AngryBug in NGD Scenes from a Hat   
    Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
     

     
    "Good evening, and welcome to Vomit Comet, the Zero-G Training Restaurant. Our specials tonight are AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"
  4. Like
    CrosshairCollie reacted to lemming in NGD Scenes from a Hat   
    Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
     

     
    "Welcome to Auchwitz! Would like seating in the oven or showers?"
  5. Like
    CrosshairCollie reacted to Hugh Neilson in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     

     
    NP: Everyone's picking on me. This game is too hard. I quit.
     
    GM: Why is my player base so stagnant?
     
    Hero Games: Why are our sales not going up? Where are all the new players?
     
    Off topic to the thread, but maybe the new player would have a better time, and be up to speed faster, if someone actually helped them, instead of yelling at them and abusing them for making errors. I like to get an experienced player to "buddy" the new player for a few sessions (freeing the GM from this task).
  6. Like
    CrosshairCollie got a reaction from AliceTheOwl in Longest Running Thread EVER   
    Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
     
    THIS ....
    ... is my thousandth post. I am posting for the sole purpose of self-aggrandizement regarding that particular milestone. Carry on.
  7. Like
    CrosshairCollie reacted to Kirby in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     
    In a Fantasy Hero game last night, we had three that stood out. All Three were relevant to the game, but the first one was not a misspeak as the second and third were. They sound a bit better left out of context, I think. But these were all lines our characters said.
     
    Human fighter, male: "It was butts that got me in trouble."
     
    Human thief, female: "Just shoot plans all in my holes."
     
    Dwarf fighter, male: "I'd rather kill him while he's alive."
  8. Like
    CrosshairCollie reacted to nedbush in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     
    From our Champions campaign:
     
    "How to we know he's a British gentleman?"
    "I have infared vision, I can tell."
     
    "They were warning grenades."
     
    From our GURPS/Steampunk campaign:
     
    "Neither the Ape, nor Natasha has been having sex with the Cossack."
     
    How to identify a vampire:
    "Stake her in the heart, see if she dies."
     
    "She has a license to kill."
    "No, she has a learner's permit to kill."
     
    "Possibly if we shrank the regiment down and put them in a diplomatic pouch."
    "No, they'd never think of that."
     
    "Somehow, this seems to violate some kind of code of honor."
     
    "I don't think I want to think about Professor Pickens and Rhiannon
    making a human being together."
     
    "Rumor has it that Transylvania is full of foreigners."
     
    "If we're shot down, they can look at our forged papers, see that we're
    just tourists, and send an apology to the Prime Minister."
     
    "You're in the village of {GM cannot pronounce name}."
    "Ah, we're in The Village That Cannot Be Named."
     
    "Yonda likes da castle of da vampiyah."
     
    "If you start feeling an urge to drink blood, resist it."
     
    "You're undressed down to your skin, but not any worse than than."
     
    "Barney the Vampire -- he was large and purple and sang."
  9. Like
    CrosshairCollie got a reaction from Blue in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     
    WARNING: Politically Incorrect Humor Ahead!
     
    This is an oldie, but a goodie (or a really baddie). My character at the time was an Iron Man power-armor type. At one point, his secret ID was cracked by a servant of a Chinese supervillain (That Lirby Koo or whatever it was guy from 4E, I think), who promptly stole his armor, put it on and was using it to try to get the group in big trouble. When my character discovered just who was responsible, he loudly exclaimed ...
     
    "Damn! There's a chink in my armor!"
     
    Told you it was politically incorrect.
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