CrosshairCollie

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Shaping up to be in the Top 10 most Crap-tacular weeks of my life... so Thursday's game was kinda lame... but it had two of the funnier moments come out of it.
 
Me: Make your perception rolls.
 
Brigit: I miss by... (then in total cutesy voice) oh wait, I make it right on the nosey!
 
Rest of us stare at her, then crack up. Cutesy is not Brigit's normal style.
 
Brigit: (trying to be serious again) What I meant was, I had plus one... so I made it!
 
Me: Wouldn't that be "plussey onesey?"
 
Rest of the night... "Right on the nosey!" was a very common phrase!
 
------
 
Later... as my poor GMing connected with exhaustion, I tried to describe a terrorist gunman jumping into a communter plane.
 
Me: Ok... he's wearing a baklava!
 
Everyone stares and I immediately realize what I said... Laughter...
 
Eric: That would be balaclava...?" snort!
 
Me: Yeah, no pastry stuck to his forehead! (shaking my own head)
 
But I couldn't stop there... no... I then try to continue describing him further...
 
Me: No uniform... but he is carrying an mp3.
 
Brigit: What? He's carrying his music with him?
 
Me: 'gasp'... blah! I meant MP-5. Yeah... so this guy has Greek pastries and his I-pod with him!
 
James: He's carrying snacks and his tunes? Worst terrorist ever!
 
------
 
Yeah... it was one of those nights.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From a quick Arcana Unearthed pick-up game ... I've assembled the closest thing I can to a classic rogue, and he's of a feline race called a Litorian ('Cat Burglar', get it? ), and we wind up prowling though a cavern looking for some lost kids. Since I'm the only one in the party with any appreciable stealth skills, I'm prowling ahead, pulling steady high-20s Sneak checks until the final leg of the exploration ... when I pull an 8.
 
I get accosted at bowpoint and, when asked what I'm doing here, I start babbling on about why we're there, mentioning that we're looking for lost kids. He says that if he sees them, he'll let me know. My Sense Motive check bombs, but my Listen picks out a couple of muffled voices behind him. I retreat back to the rest of the party.
 
Insert recap ...
"... and he said he'd let me know if he saw the kids."
PC2, a Dracha (dragon-ish): "Was he lying?"
"He didn't say."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From a quick Arcana Unearthed pick-up game ... I've assembled the closest thing I can to a classic rogue, and he's of a feline race called a Litorian ('Cat Burglar', get it? ), and we wind up prowling though a cavern looking for some lost kids. Since I'm the only one in the party with any appreciable stealth skills, I'm prowling ahead, pulling steady high-20s Sneak checks until the final leg of the exploration ... when I pull an 8.
 
I get accosted at bowpoint and, when asked what I'm doing here, I start babbling on about why we're there, mentioning that we're looking for lost kids. He says that if he sees them, he'll let me know. My Sense Motive check bombs, but my Listen picks out a couple of muffled voices behind him. I retreat back to the rest of the party.
 
Insert recap ...
"... and he said he'd let me know if he saw the kids."
PC2, a Dracha (dragon-ish): "Was he lying?"
"He didn't say."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Okay, we're on a boat, boat gets attacked while we are sleeping. Everyone is grabbing their gear and running to see what is wrong. Everyone but me. Magnyr Burk spent a lot of money buying half plate that has the "boyancy" abilitiy. So, I put it on.
Apparently, donning half plate takes alot of time. (4 minutes)...so the combat lasts 18 rounds and over two minutes after it is over I burst forward from the cabin I was in and yell, "Geez! You guys look like hell!"

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

 
Mighty Moth.- Attracted by Green lanterns Light, he soon absorbed it and became sentient.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Here's a horrible joke that one player shared a couple of sessions ago.
 
Person 1: "Knock, knock"
 
Person 2: "Who's there?"
 
P1: "Interrupting cow."
 
P2: "Interrupting c-"
 
P1: "Mooooo!"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From a one-shot game that featured lots of really goofy villains, including an homage to Vincent Price's classic Egghead from the Batman live-action series:
GM: "Egghead throws an egg (what else) at you ... going to abort to Dodge?"
PC: "An egg? Pfft. No."
GM: "The fragmentation egg-splosive goes off, dealing" (clatter of dice) "Holy $*@(*. 22 Body Killing and 44 Stun." (on 4d6 KA, for the record).
PC: "Crap, I've only got 10 Resistant defenses."
Me: "That'll leave a Mork."
 
(If you don't get it, you're too young.)

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From a one-shot game that featured lots of really goofy villains, including an homage to Vincent Price's classic Egghead from the Batman live-action series:
GM: "Egghead throws an egg (what else) at you ... going to abort to Dodge?"
PC: "An egg? Pfft. No."
GM: "The fragmentation egg-splosive goes off, dealing" (clatter of dice) "Holy $*@(*. 22 Body Killing and 44 Stun." (on 4d6 KA, for the record).
PC: "Crap, I've only got 10 Resistant defenses."
Me: "That'll leave a Mork."
 
(If you don't get it, you're too young.)

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From a one-shot game that featured lots of really goofy villains, including an homage to Vincent Price's classic Egghead from the Batman live-action series:
GM: "Egghead throws an egg (what else) at you ... going to abort to Dodge?"
PC: "An egg? Pfft. No."
GM: "The fragmentation egg-splosive goes off, dealing" (clatter of dice) "Holy $*@(*. 22 Body Killing and 44 Stun." (on 4d6 KA, for the record).
PC: "Crap, I've only got 10 Resistant defenses."
Me: "That'll leave a Mork."
 
(If you don't get it, you're too young.)

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
The PCs have come to a submarine-hatch-like door; behind it is ...
 
Me: "A 5'x5' vertical shaft, descending into total pitch blackness and eerie silence."
Player1:"That shaft is one bad mother--"
Player2:"SHUT YO' MOUTH!"
Player1:"I'm just talkin' about the shaft."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
The PCs have come to a submarine-hatch-like door; behind it is ...
 
Me: "A 5'x5' vertical shaft, descending into total pitch blackness and eerie silence."
Player1:"That shaft is one bad mother--"
Player2:"SHUT YO' MOUTH!"
Player1:"I'm just talkin' about the shaft."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
The PCs have come to a submarine-hatch-like door; behind it is ...
 
Me: "A 5'x5' vertical shaft, descending into total pitch blackness and eerie silence."
Player1:"That shaft is one bad mother--"
Player2:"SHUT YO' MOUTH!"
Player1:"I'm just talkin' about the shaft."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
The PCs have come to a submarine-hatch-like door; behind it is ...
 
Me: "A 5'x5' vertical shaft, descending into total pitch blackness and eerie silence."
Player1:"That shaft is one bad mother--"
Player2:"SHUT YO' MOUTH!"
Player1:"I'm just talkin' about the shaft."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

 
"Come to Gorilla City! We don't fling our sh*t, like they do in Chimp City."
 
(bonus answers to previous scene!)
"Hello, this is Dr. Hank McCoy. Thank you for dialing the number of The Beast."
"Hello, this is The Flash. Please leave your name, number, and message at the sound of the beep, and I will have already gotten back to you."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Urban Arcana game, first session, after a reference to the existance of an elven prostitute:
Me: "For when you really do want to get made by little elves in their hollow tree."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 

Bad things always happen when you try to kill a Mockingbird.
 
unless, of course, its a two kilo mockingbird.
 
Then you have lunch.
 
(edit...I really need to go to bed...I'm getting punchy)

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Caleb: (darkness manipulator, takes double effect from light based attacks and suceptable to same) "I use My TK with an Area Effect One Hex to pull all the pins on the VIPER guy's grenades."
 
Me: "You're sure?"
 
Caleb:"Yep"
 
Me: "OK..... go ahead and roll your power skill then roll to hit"
 
Caleb: "3 and 3 and 4..... a 10 hits?"
 
Me: "For a One Hex Area Effect? Yes."
 
Caleb: *grins big* "I bet THAT gets through his force field AND armor"
 
I start rollong dice and tallying up the points.... look at the combat record sheet
 
Me: "You are stunned and take 13 Body"
 
Caleb: "WHAT?"
 
Me: "What kind of grenades has VIPER been using the past 3 missions?"
 
Caleb: "Flash Grena- oh crap."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Earlier tonight, a friend ran his Monte Cook's Arcana Unearthed d20, which he's been running as a kind of 'regular pick-up game' ... if you can show, you do, if not, you don't. So, the party's levels are 3,3,4,6, and 9 (which is quite a spread, all things considered). To split the party up to make appropriate challenges, our 9th level character is yanked through the floor to fight a solo opponent while the rest of us get some weaker monsters.
 
We dispatch our little friends in short order, and this exchange (or a rough facsimile thereof) occurs:
Me: "I'll go over to the hole and look down there. Is the monster right under the hole?"
DM: (clatter of dice) "Yes."
Me: "Okay, I'm going to drop through the hole and attack it on the way down."
 
My attack (and all subsequent attacks) turn out to be wholly ineffective. Meanwhile, PC2, on his turn, does this:
PC2: "I'll go over to the hole, look in, and assess the situation."
Me: "Assess the situation? THAT'S the step I forgot!"
 
And a standalone line ...
"Too many cooks spoil the brothel."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

 
"So, we're combining Hybrid and FATAL, and to make it hip to the kids we're adding a TCG element, using concepts from Yu-Gi-Oh and Doctor WHO. Now, whoever can do the best impersonation of a yak in heat goes first, then rolls the d10000 to see how many spaces he moves ... oh, yeah, licensing also gave us the rights to Jar Jar Binks, those short guys from Lord of the Rings, and something called a 'Wonder Twins' for use as game elements."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
During a fantasy game (it's not D&D, but has many trappings thereof), GM trying to work out, with a player, how her half-elf met a halfling in the party.
 
DM: "Well, the halfling lands are between the elves and humans ... you could just hang out there. The halflings aren't judgemental; they don't care if you're impure."
Me: "They don't care about your genetics, either."
 
After my character, a monk/mystic warrior type, uses one of those 'wagon-wheels-with-candles-style-hanging-chandeliers' to do the classing swinging-kick move.
Me: "I learned how to fight from Jackie Chan."
Next round, I flub my acrobatics check to perform a stunt, and slam shoulder-first into a support beam, taking damage.
Other Player: "Yep, you definitely learned how to fight from Jackie Chan ... mostly his outtakes reels."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
From the same game ...
 
One of the party's halflings got a knock on his door.
Halfling Player: "I look through the little hole in the door to see who it is."
Me: "You realize you're looking at his crotch, right?"
HP: "Yeah, I know. I recognize him anyway."
(Awkward Pause)
GM: "Yes, it's your friend Dick Johnson."
(pause for giggles)
DM describes the messenger, who is leaving a parcel for the halfling. Unfortunately, his specific phrasing was 'he thrusts his package at you' and that's when I lost it completely.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
During a fantasy game (it's not D&D, but has many trappings thereof), GM trying to work out, with a player, how her half-elf met a halfling in the party.
 
DM: "Well, the halfling lands are between the elves and humans ... you could just hang out there. The halflings aren't judgemental; they don't care if you're impure."
Me: "They don't care about your genetics, either."
 
After my character, a monk/mystic warrior type, uses one of those 'wagon-wheels-with-candles-style-hanging-chandeliers' to do the classing swinging-kick move.
Me: "I learned how to fight from Jackie Chan."
Next round, I flub my acrobatics check to perform a stunt, and slam shoulder-first into a support beam, taking damage.
Other Player: "Yep, you definitely learned how to fight from Jackie Chan ... mostly his outtakes reels."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

 
"Well, I was on my way out the door when I saw my cat licking himself ... you know that big stretch where that one hind leg is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY up in the air? And I'm watching this, and I'm all, y'know, that actually looks kind of interesting, so I'm all, y'know, what the hell, lemme give it a shot. So I lay down and try to stretch my leg out, and I get this godawful charlie horse, but it's not on my calf, it's in my groin. And really, after that, you just can't walk fast enough to get to the car on time."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
 

 
"Good evening, and welcome to Vomit Comet, the Zero-G Training Restaurant. Our specials tonight are AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"